


25 Days of Losers Christmas Cheer

by JinxedAmbitions



Category: The Losers (2010), The Losers - All Media Types
Genre: 25 Days of Christmas Fics, Baking, Bedtime Stories, Blow Jobs, Christmas tree shopping, Eggnog, F/M, Fluff, Frottage, Gen, Ice Skating, Jensen in Panties, Karaoke, M/M, Mistletoe, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Some Explicit Sexual Content, christmas fics, jensen in drag, snow ball fights, some violence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-02
Updated: 2014-12-26
Packaged: 2018-02-27 20:15:37
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 25
Words: 48,465
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2705264
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JinxedAmbitions/pseuds/JinxedAmbitions
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>25 short fics for the holiday season.  Some will stand alone and others will be in multiple parts.  Basically just twenty-five stories about the team getting ready for the holidays.</p><p>Explicit chapters are labeled in the author notes at the beginning of the chapter.  Most chapters are general or teen.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The Pony: Part I

**Author's Note:**

> I'm going to try to post a small fic per day until Christmas. 
> 
> The rating right now is general, but that might change as I get further into this. There aren't many tags now, but I'll also update those as I go along. Any specific warnings will be at the start of each chapter since most will stand alone.

“Pooch do you think the transport will have room for an extra body?” Jensen asks as they sneak around the compound they are supposed to be infiltrating.

“You planning on kidnapping someone?” Roque asks, hiding behind the trunk of a tree.

“Not exactly,” Jensen says, scrunching up his face behind his NSI glasses. He tries to hold off mentioning his plan as long as possible.

“Then why do you want to know if we can fit another body in the transport?” Pooch asks.

“You don't want to know,” Cougar's voice comes over the comms, the accompanying eye roll completely audible in his tone. Jensen is definitely feeling betrayed by Cougar's lack of support.

“What are you yammering about, Jensen?” Clay grumbles from the other side of Roque.

“Well, Beth asked for a pony for Christmas, and seeing as we are infiltrating a compound full of fancy horses, I just thought that—”

“Captain, you are not stealing a horse from foreign soil that we aren't even supposed to be on, because your niece asked Santa for a pony. Every little girl asks for a damn pony,” Clay orders.

“Yeah, but how many awesome uncles happen to be sneaking into a pony farm three weeks before Christmas to kill a super bad pony breeder?”

“He has a point, Clay,” Pooch says, just to fuel Clay's high blood pressure. Jensen is sure that the vein is Clay's forehead is ticking like a metronome right now.

“Are you hearing this, Cougar?” Roque asks in disbelief.

“I already told him no last night,” Cougar sighs.

“Traitor. Wait until Beth hears that you weren't on board with getting her a pony,” Jensen says through the comms.

“Are we clear, Cougar?” Clay asks, ignoring Jensen's pouting.

“Sí, boss, all clear,” Cougar replies.

“Alright, everyone stick to the plan, and Jake if you so much as look at one of those horses, I will leave your ass here with them,” Clay threatens as they begin to move.

“Some one is a grumpy Grinch if I ever met one,” Jake grumbles under his breath as they move in formation.

“I can hear you over the comms, Jensen.”

“Good, I hope Santa can hear too, so he knows to bring you coal for Christmas,” Jensen said petulantly.

Everyone withholds their groans as they trek through the thick foliage toward the compound. December 1st and Jensen's already in the Christmas spirit. They all just hope they survive with fewer injuries to pride and person than last year.

 


	2. The Pony: Part II

Another mission gone to shit. They come out running, or tottering with Roque balanced between Clay and Pooch, while Jensen mows down anything in their way. Everything would have been fine if Roque hadn't tripped over something and started cursing when he felt his ankle break.

“So, how exactly did Roque break his ankle?” Jensen asks between short bursts of fire.

“Not now Jensen.”

“Still grumpy I see.”

“Not now Jensen.”

They make it out into the compound, where Cougar takes over covering their asses.

“What's the plan, boss?” Pooch asks now, grunting when he takes more of Roque's weight than he bargained for. “We aren't making it to the transport like this. Not with that nest of angry hornets behind us.”

Clay growls, and Jensen would flinch at the sound had he not inspired it so many times before.

“Jensen, get us a horse...”

For a split second, it's as though everything goes quiet. Were it a cartoon, an ellipsis followed by question marks would be coming through the comms from how high Cougar's eyebrows just shot up.

“But I'm not allowed to even look—”

“Jensen get us a damn horse,” Clay shouts as the spell of silence is broken.

“Um, I'm not great with horses,” Jensen says even as he tries to look for an animal sturdy enough to carry Roque and survive the treacherous jungle. The guards have stopped shooting, and seem to have retreated now that they realize there is a sniper around. However, it's only a matter of time before they come back.

“Then how did you plan to steal one?”

“Cougar,” Jake says simply, as though that is all the explanation needed.

“What the hell does that mean?” Clay demands as Jake spots the perfect animal and approaches.

“Cougs grew up on a ranch. He's good with animals,” Jake says matter-of-fact. “Hey there pretty lady, you gonna come to Papa?” he asks the animal.

“Jensen don't harass the poor beast, just get it over here. Cougar, meet us at the rendezvous,” Clay orders as Jensen attempts not to get kicked in the teeth.

“Boss, we're gonna have two casualties if Jensen keeps at it,” Pooch warns, trying to hold back his laughter. Roque isn't faring much better, but his somber face is aided by the fracture in his ankle.

“God help us. Pooch, go help him. You're the transportation specialist,” Clay says, taking Roque's weight.

“Yeah, that thing don't have an engine,” Pooch grumbles as he goes to help.

“Poochman, be a help and herd her from behind,” Jake says as Pooch gets close.

“Fuck you, Jensen. I'm not an idiot.”  
Somehow, they get the beast over to Roque and Roque onto its back, and they meet Cougar at the rendezvous point.

“She's as grumpy as Clay” Jensen says when he sees Cougar drop out of the tree he was waiting in.

“Perhaps because you continue to call him a she,” Cougar says, immediately stepping between Jensen and the animal. Cougar doesn't even break stride as he talks softly to the creature. The animal immediately calms and follows his lead.

“How?”

“Magic,” Cougar says with a smirk. No one sees the sugar cubes he slips the animal as they go.

“I don't care how. Just get it moving faster, because they're gonna come after us again,” Clay barks.

“Not it, _he_ , Clay. And your grumpiness is making him twitch.”

“So help me, Jensen.”

Cougar gives Jensen a private smile and a tip of his hat as he begins to run beside the animal, through the narrow path they made. Roque curses every time the motion of the animal jars his ankle. Everyone ignores him.

They make it to the truck Pooch secured for them and load everything in.

“Come on Walter, up you go,” Jake says as Clay is getting into the vehicle.

“What was that?” Clay asks, stepping back out of the truck.

“We can't leave him!” Jensen looks horrified just at the thought. Cougar and Pooch try, and fail, to suppress their smiles.

“No.”

“But he saved Roque's life. We can't just leave him to be eaten by jungle animals.”

“No.”

“But Walter's perfect for Beth. He's a hero.”

“He's not even a horse, Jensen. He's a stubborn mule that doesn't even like you.”

“Don't talk about Walter like that.”

“Jake—”

 


	3. Light It Up

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jensen has a competitive streak as wide as about 100 strings of holiday lights.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm late today, but I was catching up on sleep all afternoon after work because I was running nonstop yesterday until about 2am. I was going to just go to bed, but I told myself I wouldn't sleep until I posted today, so here you go.

Jensen's been quiet for days. It has everyone on edge. He's holed himself up in his room at the house they share, and without the constant litany of curses and dirty talk filtering through the house, everyone is worried.

“You think he's sick?” Pooch asks as they play cards around the kitchen table.

“Not sick,” Cougar notes without looking up from his hand. He's the only one that's seen Jensen since they returned from their most recent mission. He brings him food at regular intervals and sneaks in at night to make sure Jensen gets some sleep, or at least that's what Clay is telling himself, because he certainly isn't looking too deeply.

“Is he mad at us? Should I be worried that I won't be able to buy my nieces and nephews presents this year, because Jensen maxed out all my credit cards?” Pooch asks, eyes going wide in horror.

“He better not,” Roque growls. He's still recovering from Jake's last bout of revenge that involved premium subscriptions to some very deviant porn sites, and he'd somehow rigged it to pop up any time Roque opened any sort of official documents.

“Two cards,” Cougar says as he places two cards face down on the table. Clay distractedly deals him two more.

“It ain't healthy to be locked up in there with no one but himself for company,” Pooch says, motioning to Clay for three new cards.

“What do you propose we do?” Clay asks, finally dealing himself several cards and allowing Cougar to place his wager.

“Maybe one of us should go talk to him, make sure he's—”

“Jensen is fine,” Cougar says, still completely focused on the game at hand.

“See, he's fine. The man with eyes of a hawk says Jake's good. Let's just enjoy some peace and quiet. It certainly won't last long enough,” Roque says. “Fuck, how did you do that?” he asks when Cougar reveals a straight flush, beating them all handily.

Cougar just smiles before gathering the cards for his turn to deal.

Cougar checks on Jensen the next time he excuses himself to go to the bathroom. He's beating them all, so if he misses a hand or two it's probably for the best.

Jake doesn't even look up when Cougar slips through the door and into the cluttered room. Blue prints are scattered across the floor and the bed, and Jake is currently hunched over one.

“Jake, time to take a break,” Carlos says as he steps behind Jensen and peers over his bare shoulder at the schematics. Jensen is in nothing but reindeer boxers and a Santa hat as he carefully marks something on the paper. “Jacob,” Cougar says softly, his beard so close, it tickles Jake's ear as he speaks.

“Can't Cougs. These are almost done,” Jensen dismisses him, but Cougar is undeterred. He runs his callused fingers over Jake's shoulders, which are tense from hours of hunching over his work. Jake doesn't so much as flinch when Cougar begins to work the tension out of those muscles with his strong fingers.

“Talk to me,” Cougar says as he continues to watch Jensen's hand fly over the paper.

“It's gonna be perfect Cougar. Those Marines down the street are going to look like a bunch of toy soldiers this year. Trust me, my revenge will be sweet as the Christmas candy you've already begun to horde,” Jensen rambles, leaning into Cougar's touch just enough for Cougar to know he appreciates it.

“You must remember to eat,” Cougar says, because while Jensen's competitive feud with the neighbors is endearing, he does not wish to see Jensen falling off the roof when he gets woozy from lack of food and sleep.

“I ate the sandwich you brought me.”

“That was yesterday afternoon.”

“Huh,” Jensen looks up at the clock on the wall, blinking slowly. “Shit! I need to get this done five hours ago. Cougar, be the sneaky kitty you were born to be and get the guys out of the house for a couple hours,” Jensen says, wild eyed as he spins to look at Cougar.

“Jacob...”

“Cougar, this isn't just a Christmas light contest. This is a matter of honor. They humiliated us last year. They trod on our good name. I can't let that go unpunished. I need your help here,” Jensen says placing his hands on Cougar's shoulders and looking painfully earnest.

“Fine, but you need to eat the pizza downstairs before you climb on the roof,” Cougar sighs. He isn't entirely sure when he became a mother hen, but he thinks it may have been around the time Clay decided to adopt Jensen into their merry band of misfit soldiers. The man is as lethal as a shark, but he also lets his mind run away from him all too often.

“You are the best. This is why I love you,” Jensen exclaims, leaning in to kiss Cougar wetly on the lips. Before he can react to it, Jensen is turned around again, gathering his plans.

Cougar shakes his head and goes back down to the rest of the team. “Going to the bar, any takers?” he asks as he pulls on his coat. He'd much rather stay inside since it's far too cold for his liking outside, but he will do this for Jake, if only to have his chatter back.

“Cougar, it's 11am,” Clay says, sounding concerned.

“The house is too quiet,” Cougar says by way of explanation, and while funny coming from him, everyone seems to agree.

“I'll grab my coat,” Pooch says as they split up the chocolate coins they had been using as poker chips. Cougar smiles as they push the majority over to him.

Cougar doesn't know how long that Jensen wants them out of the house. It _is_ early, so he isn't looking to get overly drunk, so he watches the others and plays a few games of pool with Clay. When Jensen stops answering messages, and Roque is thoroughly trashed, they head back to the house.

“What the fuck?” Pooch asks as he pulls the Jeep into the driveway.

“Cougar...”

Cougar isn't listening though because he's out of the car like a shot, heading straight for Jensen who is sitting on the front stoop looking like someone just smashed his favorite computer.

“Jake, what is wrong?” he asks as he kneels in front of the tech specialist. Jake waves his hands at the half decorated house but doesn't find the words.

“Jensen what the hell is all this?”

“Curse-mas light comp-tition. Assholes down tha street kicked our ass las yer,” Roque slurs as he sits heavily on the front lawn.

“The what?” Clay asks, as though they hadn't received several fliers about it in recent weeks.

“Shit, I forgot about that after that shitty op. Those guys down the street. You know, the ones that Cougar beat up down at the bar because one of them tried to grab the hat. They win every year,” Pooch says as he looks down the block to see several large men putting up strings of lights.

“So?” Clay asks.

“Where's your pride?” Roque asks with a shake of his head.

“Jake is this why you've been hiding in your room for the last three days?” Clay turns to the youngest member of their team to find him pouring over his blue prints.

“I swear I had everything worked out, Cougs. I just—I must have miscalculated my reach...”

“Captain Jensen.”

“Clay, I can't let them beat us again this year. I promised Cougar part of the grand prize, and I just don't like those guys,” Jake says looking up from his plans.

Clay sighs deeply, but Pooch is already pouring over the plans with Jensen, making notes.

“Fine, what can we do to help?” Clay asks, and he pointedly ignores that grateful smile Cougar sends him.

“Clay and Roque will do lawn decorations, because Roque might fall off the roof right now, and well I'm also not certain he won't puke in a bush unsupervised,” Pooch says, and Roque gives him the finger.

“Cougar is on aerial work, you take the chimney and roof line since you can climb up there without breaking anything. Jensen and I will cover the front and sides of the house,” Pooch assigns them before Jensen steps in.

“Supplies are in the garage. These are the plans. Everything needs to be just as I have it here...or we risk burning the house down because of severely overtaxed circuits,” Jake explains.

“Just how does this configuration not overtax anything?” Clay asks, but Cougar shakes his head.

“Legally, you don't want me to answer that, but let's just say our d-bag neighbors are going to have a pretty big electrical bill this month,” Jensen says, bouncing on the balls of his feet.

“I don't want to know how you are rigging this. What am I doing with the lawn?” Clay asks instead. Jensen begins to explain his vision, rambling about Santa sticking out of the chimney and reindeer partying on the front lawn. Everyone listens attentively, not fully realizing just how much they'd missed his rambles.

Clay pulls Cougar aside as they get to work. “You could have told us what was going on.”

“Was not mine to tell,” Cougar shrugs, grabbing several strings of lights.

“I know that we can be hard on him, but he's one of us. He doesn't have to lock himself away and do things in secret—”

“You should tell him, not me,” Cougar says seriously before walking over to the ladder Jake set up earlier.

They work for hours, setting lights up, and building ornaments. They stop for food and to regroup a couple of times. By the time they are putting the finishing touches on the house, they are rough housing more than working.

“Okay Cougs. Come down, so we can light it up. This might explode, so I'd rather you weren't in the middle of it,” Jake calls as they all gather in the street. Jensen holds an elaborate remote control.

Cougar quickly joins them and looks over their work. A Santa mannequin's legs stick out of the chimney while a sleigh that Jake and Pooch constructed in the garage looks to have crashed into the roof. Elves in combat gear repel from the roof line, and reindeer scatter around the front yard.

“Okay, 10-9-8-7-6-5-4-3-2-blast off,” Jensen says as he begins to flip switches and turn dials on the remote. The house and yard light up in a cacophony of colors, highlighting all of the figures they set up and also making the house looks like it's an ice castle. “Oh yeah!” Jensen shouts, pumping his fist in the air. The men share high fives and beers as they watch all of the different things Jensen's controller allows him to do with the lights.

“What's that do?” Roque asks, innocently pointing to a large red button in the middle of the controller, just as the judges are passing their house after coming from down the street.

“I am glad you asked, Roque, my friend,” Jensen says as he flips up the red cover on the button and presses it down.

Clay and Roque look confused for a moment before fireworks shoot up from the back of the house and begin to illuminate the sky overhead, all white like massive snowflakes.

“You know those are illegal...”

“They crushed our pride, Clay. That called for drastic measures,” Jensen says gravely before nodding to himself and heading inside.

Cougar is very pleased the next morning when their victory candy basket is delivered. Jensen immediately sends his niece a picture of their first place snowman trophy, then walks down the street to gloat about it in front of the neighbors' house.

The rest of them follow him just to hear his excited victory speech.

 


	4. Go Ask Cougar

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When the Losers don't know what to get each other for Christmas, they ask the man who notices everything.

Cougar is surprised when Pooch approaches him after dinner while everyone's winding down, doing their own thing. Unless a game is on or they're going out, they pretty much leave each other to their own business in the evening. They essentially live on top of each other 24/7, so it's by unspoken agreement that when the sun goes down they ignore each other.

Cougar is sitting in the den reading when Pooch wanders in from the kitchen. Roque and Clay are out restocking on beer, and Jensen is upstairs decorating his room between doing whatever nefarious transactions he deems necessary to bring Christmas cheer to the less fortunate. Cougar doesn't ask, though he enjoys the pictures of the children with the gifts Jensen sends them.

“Hey Cougar, you got a minute?” Pooch asks as he takes a seat on the sofa next to the recliner that Cougar is curled up in.

“Sí,” Cougar says, not looking up from his novel.

“So, I've been trying to think of a gift for Jolene, but I don't want it to be something cliché. Like we've been dating since high school, and we've been married for a bit. How many necklaces can I really get the girl?” Pooch says, wringing his hands.

“The television leads me to believe the answer is many,” Cougar says noncommittally.

Pooch laughs softly. Just that afternoon, Jensen had been loudly complaining about how nothing says Merry Christmas like giving your significant other blood diamonds as a symbol of how commercial gain outweighs the lives of human beings.

“I just want to get her something special this year,” Pooch tries to explain.

Cougar nods as he finally looks up from his book. “I, uh, I was wondering if you had any ideas,” Pooch mumbles quickly.

“I do not have a wife or girlfriend,” Cougar points out, thoroughly confused as to why Pooch would come to him above anyone else on the team. Jensen is an idea generator, most of them bad ideas, but every so often he has a gem. Clay's had more “serious” girlfriends than any of them. Roque, well Cougar isn't entirely surprised Pooch came to him over Roque.

“I know that, but I just thought maybe you'd have an interesting idea or something,” Pooch says quickly.

Cougar sits back and tries to think. “What does Jolene talk about after you have been intimate?” Cougar asks after a moment of thought, putting his bookmark in place and setting the book aside.

“Woah, dude. I asked for gift ideas,” Pooch says reeling back.

“Sí, I know. My first novia always spoke about traveling after we were intimate. It was not until we broke up that I learned most of her family was still living in Ecuador. It was her way of trying to open up about them and how she longed to see them again. I was just too blind to see that,” Cougar explains.

“Oh, uh, I don't really know, man. I'm usually pretty exhausted after that, you know?” Pooch says, rubbing his bald head.

“So listen next time.”

“And what if she doesn't say anything.”

“Then start by telling her something,” Cougar explains as though Pooch had never heard of pillow talk before.

“Okay, okay. I can do that. But what if I still can't come up with anything?”

“According to Clay, you can never go wrong with a 21 year old Scotch.”

“Fuck you, man,” Pooch laughs, but he sounds grateful as he wanders back to whatever he'd been doing before.

\---

Cougar will never admit that he's actually startled when Roque finds him in the basement cleaning his weapons in the quiet solitude. Cougar loves Jensen, but he can only listen to “Rockin' Around the Christmas Tree” so many times before he “accidentally” shoots one of Jensen's beloved computers.

“Cougar, I need to speak with you about something important,” Roque is using his official business voice, so Cougar is immediately on alert.

“Yes sir?” Cougar asks, putting his cloth down.

“Has Clay mentioned what he's getting me for Christmas?” Roque asks, still completely serious.

“Why would he tell me?” Cougar asks in confusion. They never talk about gifts or sentimental things with each other.

“Not tell you, but you hear everything. You haven't heard him mention anything?”

“No.”

“Have you heard him mention what _he_ wants for Christmas?” Roque changes tactics.

“No.”

“Fuck. I hate Christmas and stupid gifts,” Roque grumbles, removing a knife from seemingly thin air and playing with the blade. He's clearly stressed.

“You do not know what to get him?” Cougar asks, beginning to understand.

“Yeah, he's impossible to shop for. I've exhausted my options. I can't get him a hooker again. The last one tried to steal his identity and buy herself a yacht,” Roque complains.

“Why are you asking me?” Cougar asks.

“Because you're good at this shit.”

Cougar rolls his eyes. “Is there something he's been grumbling about more than usual?” Cougar asks, picking up his cleaning tools again.

“Ugh, how should I know? If I listened every time Clay bitched about something, I'd go deaf.”

Cougar withholds his sigh with incredible self control. “Tomorrow when he comes back from his regular meetings, perhaps listen to what he has to say,” Cougar suggests.

“And if that doesn't work?”

“Scotch.”

\---

“Cougar,” Clay corners him as he's coming off the range, still wearing his eyes and ears. Cougar rolls his eyes as he points to the armory then follows Clay inside. “Cougar, I need your help,” Clay says firmly as Cougar breaks down his rifle to clean before he returns it.

“On the coffee table in the living room, I have circled all of the weapons Roque spends the most time looking at,” Cougar says without even looking up.

“How did you know I was going to ask about Roque's Christmas gift?” Clay asks, completely shocked.

“Why did you come to me?” Cougar asks with an unimpressed look.

“Okay, so expensive knife for Roque. Any ideas on what I should get my mother?”

“Perhaps you should call her more than once every six months. That will not only be gift enough, but you might learn what to get her for next Christmas,” Cougar says sharply.

“Okay, well I have a briefing. Carry on,” Clay beats a hasty retreat.

\---

Cougar presses ignore when Erin's number comes up. He loves Jensen's sister, but he's in the middle of a report and doesn't have time for a family call. It rings again. He ignores it. It rings again. He ignores it.

“Cougar! Erin wants to know why the hell you're ignoring her calls?” Jensen shouts from down the hall. Cougar grips his pen tighter.

It rings again. “Hello Erin, what can I do for you?” he asks, putting his pen down with deliberate care.

She tells him not to ignore her calls before asking him about Jensen. “Has he been eating? Should I get him more snacks for when he's on one of his hacking sprees? Does he need more underwear? Socks? Has he—”

“Socks and underwear are always good. We do go grocery shopping. He is perfectly capable of buying whichever flavor of Goldfish crackers he wishes. I am sure he would be thrilled if you and Beth knitted him a new sweater or maybe a scarf,” Cougar says.

“Thanks Cougar, you're a doll. Do you need any socks or underwear?” Erin asks in true mother fashion.

“Thank you, Erin, but I am not in need of either. Please tell Beth I love her, but I have several reports to finish,” Cougar explains politely before wishing her goodbye and hanging up.

“What did my sister want to talk to you and not me for?” Jensen shouts not a minute after Cougar hangs up. Cougar smirks but doesn't answer. The curiosity will eat away at Jensen until he comes to Cougar's room and eagerly finishes his report for him to get the info out of him.

It doesn't even take three minutes before Jensen is pushing him out of his seat and demanding he dictate what he wants written. Once Cougar tells him what Erin wanted, Jensen looks thoughtful.

“Oh, just happen to mention that my Grinch boxers have a hole in them that my balls slip through, so she might want to get me a new pair. Oh and I would love Powerpuff Girls socks. Tell that to Beth though, because Erin will definitely know we're working in cahoots if you bring up the Powerpuff Girls. Obviously, you weren't cool enough to—”

Cougar shakes his head, letting Jensen believe he's never heard of them before.

\---

“She talks about babies,” Pooch says from right behind Cougar as Cougar is pulling reheated pizza out of the microwave. Cougar isn't even surprised anymore. After all, the only person who hasn't come to him for advice yet is Jensen, and that includes Jolene, Jensen's sister, and Clay's mother. Cougar looks over his shoulder at Pooch and raises an eyebrow in question.

“Jolene, after we, you know, she talks about her nieces and nephews. I can't get her a baby for Christmas. I mean, I'm sure Jensen could get us one, but I'm _not_ getting my wife a black market baby for Christmas,” Pooch says adamantly. Cougar doesn't really think that needed stating, but then again they've done some weird things in their careers.

Cougar rolls his eyes at his meatball and bacon pizza. “She is not asking for a baby, Pooch. She wants a sign that you want one as well,” Cougar explains as he turns to collect a beer from the refrigerator.

“Like what? I mean, she knows I want babies. I told her I love kids. I can't wait to have a mini Pooch,” he says, throwing his hands up.

“Children are not toys. They are not self contained. They require care, preparation. What is something essential to having a child that would be both useful and a gesture of your intentions?” Cougar asks before taking a large bite of his food.

“Oh...oh! She's mentioned wanting to turn the office into a nursery if we ever have kids,” Pooch says, his eyes lit with excitement.

“There you go,” Cougar says, walking out of the room before Pooch can enlist him in mission redecoration. He goes to his room and locks the door, finishes his pizza, then repels out the window to go to the bar where hopefully no one will need advice about Christmas gifts.

 


	5. Holiday Cards and Mistletoe Revenge

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jensen is a man of many talents: surveillance, Photoshop, tasteless holiday gift baskets. Not everyone appreciates them.

“Jensen!”

Cougar's eyebrows shoot up at Clay's bellow. Clay is supposed to be in meetings all afternoon after all. Jensen is showing Cougar the nuances of photo shopping each of the Losers heads onto the bodies of reindeer for the team's Christmas cards.

“Uh oh. Quick Cougs, clean a gun or something. Clay can't know about our card,” Jensen says, clicking the mouse several times before the three screens he set up are covered in code.

Cougar rolls his eyes and wanders over to Jensen's bunk to pull out a deck of cards he leaves in Jake's drawer. Just as he's dealing out a game of solitaire, Clay storms in holding a bunch of mistletoe.

“Jensen, why is there mistletoe hanging over my office door?” Clay demands.

Jensen looks relieved when he sees the harmless plant tied with red ribbon.

“I don't know, boss. Maybe someone thinks you could use a little holiday cheer,” Jake drawls. Cougar watches them closely from beneath the brim of his hat.

“That someone should mind their own business and remember I can put them on desk duty all through Christmas.”

“Don't look at me. I don't go near mistletoe,” Jake says innocently.

“I find that hard to believe.”

“It's true. You know how many times I've gotten slapped while wearing a mistletoe hat? Ask Cougs.”

Clay looks up at Cougar like Jensen is out of his mind, more so than usual.

“It is true. Last year we went to the bar, and he got slapped so many times that his cheek was red until New Year's,” Cougar says gravely.

“I still have nightmares,” Jake adds with an exaggerated shudder and wide innocent eyes, which he either learned from his niece or taught her. They are a formidable pair when they join forces.

“So, if it wasn't you, who put mistletoe up in my office on base?” Clay barks, ignoring Jensen's ridiculousness.

“Piss anyone off this week?” Jensen asks, and Cougar actually snorts at that. When isn't Clay pissing people off?

“No more than usual,” Clay says thoughtfully “Jensen, I need you to _not_ retrieve the surveillance footage from outside my office, are we clear?”

“Crystal. I will get right on not doing that, sir,” Jensen says, clicking a few buttons on his keyboard and suddenly the base's security feeds are cycling through on the left screen. “Honestly, it's not really retrieval if I'm always monitoring. Right?”

“I'm not here,” Clay says seriously, while Cougar and Jensen nod.

Jensen does his magic, finding the footage from the hallway outside Clay's office and rewinding through it. They all watch as Jensen speeds through hours of footage until a man appears on the screen holding the offending mistletoe.

“Wow, some soldier he is. Didn't even check if he had eyes on him,” Jake says, unimpressed. Cougar and Clay lean in, squinting at the screen. “Hey, isn't that General Bennett? He seriously needs to work on his stealth. I should mark that in his file.”

“So much for desk duty, boss,” Cougar says, clicking his tongue and shaking his head.

“That bastard! Do the man a favor and take his daughter on one date, and this is the thanks I get. Jake, you're in charge of revenge. It can never lead back to us, and I know nothing of it if it does. Carry on,” Clay says, turning on his heel and leaving as abruptly as he came, muttering about crazy women and overprotective fathers.

“That poor girl. I wonder if she was always crazy or if they catch it from Clay,” Jake says before bringing the card back to the screen.

“What are you going to do to him?” Cougar asks, pointing to where Jake left off painting Roque's nose red.

“Oh the usual. I'm thinking a bouquet of holiday themed dildos. Maybe a sampling of the best reviewed prostate massagers. I'll see what looks most scarring,” Jake shrugs. Cougar's eyebrows raise.

“How often to I send revenge dildos? Eh, only when I have more important things to do than get creative, like this here Christmas card.” Jake says, finishing Roque's nose and moving up to where he pasted Clay's face over Santa's. He begins to draw some sort of fishing pole poking out of the sack of presents behind him. Then he adds a bundle of mistletoe hanging directly over Clay's head.

“Oh man, how many kids would be scarred for life finding mommy being ravished by Santa Claus if Clay was Santa?” Jensen says with an exaggerated shudder.

Cougar chuckles.

\---

Three days later, Cougar is on his bed writing a letter to his sister to go with the card Jensen made. He never sees his family since his mother died, but he still writes and sends gifts during the holidays. He's just finishing his explanation of the ridiculous card when he hears Clay bellow Jensen's name again.

“Get back here, Jensen!” Clay shouts, and Cougar hears something crash down in the kitchen. He hears Jensen shriek, and that's definitely the sound of Pooch snorting because he's laughing so hard. “I'm going to kill you,” Clay threatens.

“I'm too pretty to die,” Jensen shrieks. Cougar hears another crash, then someone is thundering up the stairs...followed closely by someone else. “Clay, where's your holiday spirit?”

“Jensen!”

“Eek!” Jensen cries, and it sounds like he takes the corner too fast and barrels into the wall.

The next second, Cougar's door is being thrown open and a frantic looking Jensen sprints in and dives behind Cougar on the bed, miraculously missing the letter Cougar is writing.

“You've got to protect me Cougs. He's crazy!” Jake says, cowering behind Cougar, even though Jensen is bigger than him.

Clay appears in the doorway next, looking like he's out for blood.

“Get out from behind Cougar, Jensen,” Clay says darkly.

“Nope, not gonna happen,” Jake says, peeking around Cougar. “Coug'll protect me from you.”

“Cougar, get out of my way,” Clay says, reining in his voice to sound somewhat calm.

“Don't do it, Cougar.”

“Don't make this worse, Jensen. How many of those did you send out?” Clay growls.

Jensen mumbles into Cougar's shoulder, and Cougar resists the urge to turn and kiss him. After all, he'd watched Jensen make the cards.

“What was that?” Clay asks.

“Well, one to everyone's family, and—” The rest is too soft to hear.

“What?”

“One to each of the units on base,” Jensen says cowering further.

Clay is silent for a moment before he's suddenly lunging at Cougar's bed. Cougar blocks him from getting to Jensen by putting himself in Clay's path. Clay barrels into him, knocking them back into Jensen, who is attempting to scurry off the bed. “Out of the way, Cougar. That's an order,” Clay demands as he grabs for Jensen's leg around Cougar.

“Pooch, help! I'm being attacked!” Jensen yells just behind Cougar's ear, making it ring.

Pooch appears in the doorway with Roque a minute later, as Clay is pulling Cougar's hair because he got a fist of it when he grabbed Jake's arm. Jensen is trying to pry Clay's grip off while kicking out at anything close. Cougar in stuck in the middle attempting to subdue either, but he's mostly just being abused.

“Aw, fuck,” Pooch groans before he and Roque run in and attempt to separate the three, but only end up getting dragged in as well. Pretty soon all five are wrestling each other on Cougar's cramped bed. Elbows are dug into sensitive places. Jensen actually bites someone, but he isn't sure who or where. Roque accidentally kicks Pooch in the head when Clay tosses him off his back.

“What in God's name are you children doing?” Jolene's sharp voice asks from the doorway, and everyone freezes. They all look up at Pooch's wife, who stands in the doorway still wearing her coat and looking murderous. Jensen's face is poked out from underneath Cougar's thigh. Clay and Roque are tangled together, and Pooch is trying to help Cougar extract himself from the pile, but it isn't working very well.

“Hi Jolene. Clay's a monster. He tried to kill me because he doesn't appreciate the genius that is my Christmas card,” Jake tattles, and four pairs of eyes roll as Jolene cocks her head to see Jake beneath Cougar and the others.

“You are worse than children. Get off of there and apologize to each other, or I'm not sharing the cookies I brought,” she says, thin arms crossed over her chest. “I'm here for less than a minute, and you are at each others throats, what do you do when I'm not here?”

“Well—”

“I really don't want to know, Jake,” she says. “Well?” she asks when none of the move fast enough. They all start to scramble off of Cougar's bed, elbowing and hitting each other in the process. Cougar looks down at his crumpled letter once he's alone on the bed again.

Everyone looks like scolded children as they stand in front of Cougar's bed watching Jolene like she can't be serious about them apologizing.

“Say you're sorry, boys. I know you weren't raised by wolves. You can do it,” she says, tapping her boot on the floor. Cougar thinks she'll be an excellent mother if she can have five special forces soldiers cowering with little more than a stern look.

“Clay star—”

“You first, Jensen.”

“Traitor,” he mumbles before turning to Clay. “I'm sorry your heart is three sizes too small,” he says, scooting behind Pooch this time.

“Clay?” Jolene prompts.

“I'm sorry I threatened to kill you. I'm sure that desk duty will be a much more painful punishment,” Clay says.

“And what about Cougar?” she asks. Cougar's eyebrows raise. What had he done?

“Didn't you all come in his room without permission?” The woman is good. She hadn't even been there for that part.

“Sorry Cougar.”

“Sorry man.”

They all mumble their apologies before Jolene steps aside and points down the hall. Roque, Pooch, and Clay march out like a line of sad puppies. Jensen stays behind bouncing from foot to foot. Cougar waves him onto the bed once they are alone.

“I'm sorry that we ruined your letter,” he says almost meekly, but Cougar shakes his head and tugs Jensen into his arms. “Clay is definitely getting a revenge gift, and he'll wish it was as benign as red and green dildos,” he grumbles as Cougar strokes his cheek.

“It was a good Christmas card. My sister and her children will love it,” Cougar says softly.

“It was awesome wasn't it? Clay is no fun.”

Cougar shakes his head, but keeps his comments to himself. He kisses Jensen softly instead.

 


	6. No Such Thing As The Perfect Tree

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Pooch and Jensen shop for the perfect Christmas Tree, but Jake has more on his mind than whether they should go for a spruce or a fir.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was supposed to be a lot lighter than it turned out to be. Hope you're in the mood for a Jensen and Pooch heart-to-heart.

Jensen and Pooch are tasked with finding a Christmas tree for the house because Roque doesn't care, Clay's elbow deep in all of the paperwork he's been putting off for months, and Cougar has other things he needs to do.

Jolene would have gone with them, but she is at the Losers' house attempting to cook something with nutritional value for them after finding six different kinds of takeout in the fridge but no vegetables.

Jensen's wearing a much tamer sweater than usual with a matching cap and mittens as they get out of the Jeep. Pooch is in an actual jacket because he isn't a madman that's immune to the cold. “So, I'm thinking a ten foot tree with—”

“We don't have ten foot ceiling, Jay,” Pooch cuts him off with a smile.

“Wait, hear me out. Ten foot tree, cut a hole in the ceiling and let it pop up through Clay's bedroom floor,” Jake says, sounding extremely proud of himself.

“Sure man, you pitch it to Clay, and I'm all on board,” Pooch laughs. They wander through the rows and rows of cut trees. Some are rigged up while others are wrapped and leaning on supports. The lot is filled with people wandering about, searching for the perfect tree for their home. Jensen looks disappointed, but he quickly removes a tape measure from his back pocket and begins to inspect trees.

“I've done research, Poochman. We need the perfect tree, and I hold the exact specifications for that very tree in my noggin,” Jensen says measuring the needles on one tree then the width of its neighbor.

“I'm sure you do, Jake, but I'd really like to eat the first home cooked meal I've had since I last got to go home, so if we could get this done before dinner, that would be great,” Pooch says as he looks at a tree to his right.

“Ugh, don't even waste your time on that one, Pooch. It's all wrong,” Jake says, kneeling under another tree. Pooch shakes his head and watches Jake study the trunk of the tree.

“Jake, you realize there aren't actually specifications that need to be met? You're supposed to just pick the one that stands out to you,” Pooch suggests, but Jensen is rambling about branch density and optimal space for ornaments.

Pooch sighs and just lets Jake wander around for a bit. Cougar got the tree last year. He disappeared for forty-five minutes one morning and came back with a tree he'd cut down himself. It had been a great tree, and Pooch can't help but feel like Jake is trying to measure up. They all know that Jensen Family holidays had been anything but pleasant for Jake growing up. They all realize that they are really the first family he's had outside of his sister and niece, and that Jake needs everything to be like something out of a fairytale. What's effortless for some of them isn't always so for Jake. Family doesn't come easily to the man.

They all deal with their demons in their own ways, and Jake's is often to weave his own fantasy out of the life he's been given. They all try to help as much as they can. Even Roque and Clay put away their bitterness as much as they can to give their tech good holidays. They are family after all, dysfunctional and deadly, but family.

“So Jay, Jolene and I are going ice skating after dinner,” Pooch says as he follows Jake around the lot.

“That sounds fun,” Jake says, disappearing behind several trees.

“We were wondering if you and Cougar wanted to come with us,” Pooch suggests to the tree between them.

“Why would you want Cougs and me to tag along on your date?”

“We thought, you know, it would be a double date,” Pooch explains, not really understanding why Jake isn't keeping up, but blaming it on the tree hunt.

“What? Why you would you invite us on a double date?”

“Because you're dating,” Pooch points out.

“No we aren't!” Jake says adamantly, his face appearing from behind the veil of trees. “We are most definitely not dating, not a couple. Best friends, nothing gay happening over here,” Jake rambles.

“What?” Pooch asks. He walked past Jake's room just this morning to see Cougar pulling on a t-shirt while being distracted by Jake trying to kiss him through the material. They were most definitely a couple, sickeningly so.

“Why would you think that?”

“Uh, because you are?” Pooch retorts, still too confused to process the terror that's slowly settling over Jake's features.

“I'm not gay.”

“I didn't say you were. Jake, no one cares that you and Cougar are together...”

“But we aren't.”

Pooch just cocks his head to the side and really looks at Jake, who is definitely hiding behind the tree now.

“Okay, you aren't together,” Pooch says, raising his hands in surrender. “Jolene and I would still love to have you two come ice skating with us.”

“I-I'll have to ask Cougar, but he doesn't really seem like the ice skating type,” Jake says stiffly as he steps out from behind the trees, tucking his tape measure away. “I, um, think I'm going to go wait in the car,” he mumbles as he starts to walk back out of the lot.

Pooch frowns and marches right after him. He slides into the driver seat as Jensen sits in the passenger seat. “Okay, what the hell am I missing, because Jolene and I thought it would be nice to go out with you guys, but that clearly fucked with you,” Pooch says as soon as the doors are shut.

“It's okay, you should go pick a tree,” Jake says, looking out the window.

“Nope, we're talking because something is definitely eating at you,” Pooch plows on. “Tell me what's wrong.”

“Nothing.”

“Bullshit. Is this about DADT and all that bullshit, because you've got to know none of us care who the hell you screw, so long as they aren't as crazy as Clay's girlfriends,” Pooch says turning to face Jensen, even though Jensen is attempting to face the opposite direction.

“It's not that,” Jake mumbles, drawing a frowny face on the window.

“Then what? Jake, man, talk to me,” he pleads, though Jake is stubborn as a mule when he doesn't want to talk about something.

Jensen is quiet for a long time. He opens his mouth as if to speak several times but closes it again. Finally, he points through the foggy glass at a family tying their tree to the roof of their mini van.

“I'll never have that,” he says dejectedly.

“That tree?” Pooch asks, completely lost.

“Two point five four children, a beautiful wife who bakes cookies and smiles when I do dumb shit. A family to pick out the perfect tree with,” Jake lists even as one of the children tries to help the father lift the tree only to struggle adorably.

“You have a sister and niece though, and you've got all of us and Jolene,” Pooch says adamantly. Jake shrugs but doesn't turn away from the spectacle out the window. “Jake, I don't know who told you that you needed a wife and 2.5 kids to be happy, but that's complete nonsense, and I think you know it. So, what's really eating you?”

Jake sighs deeply. “I _want_ it.”

“A wife and kids?”

“To know what it's like to have a happy family with happy memories, that have traditions and do things together, like pick out trees even though any stupid tree will do the trick. The perfect tree isn't going to change it,” Jake explains, picking at a thread on his sweater.

“Jay,” Pooch says softly, waiting for Jake to look at him before he speaks. It takes a minute, but eventually Jake looks up at him. “Roque doesn't have a family. He never talks about them. Shuts down when they're mentioned. Clay has been avoiding his mother's calls since I met the man, and he's allergic to anything that smells like commitment. Cougar hasn't been home since his mother died even though it kills him not to watch his nieces and nephews grow up. We're all losers, Jay, but we've got each other. We have our own traditions and memories,” Pooch says, hoping that Jake understands.

“But you guys just put up with me. Like how Clay hates Christmas, but he puts up with me going nuts because he's afraid I'll break if he doesn't. Or Roque. He _hates_ my Christmas music, but he's too scared to tell me to turn it off.”

“That's what family does, Jake. I hate Jolene's mother's meat sauce, but I eat it and tell her how great it is because I love Jolene like mad. The whole Stepford thing doesn't exist, Jay. Being family is sucking it up because you love each other.”

“But it's not real, and it's selfish to make everyone fall into your little fantasy,” Jake says, turning away from the window, away from the world outside.

Pooch knows he's out of his depth. Jake's problems are deeper than a heart-to-heart in the Jeep can fix, but he wants to help Jake understand. He desperately wants to.

“You're allowed to want things for yourself, Jake. It doesn't make you selfish. It makes you human. You're allowed to want the perfect tree and Christmas cards with the whole team on them. You're allowed to want Cougar even though he's a dude, and you're allowed to want to take him on dates. None of that makes you selfish or a bad person.”

Jake looks pained next to him. He takes his glasses off and cleans them with his mittens.

“Believe it or not, but we all look forward to your unique Christmas traditions,” Pooch says.

“Really?”

“Yup. And I don't think I need to tell you this, but Cougar's head over heels for you. He would gladly suffer the indignity of ice skating because seeing you happy makes him happy.”

“I...We've been—I don't know what to call us—something for almost a year,” Jake admits softly. “I'm always afraid he's going to smarten up and dump me because he deserves better.”

“Dude, who is Cougar going to find that's better than you? Who's going to understand why he doesn't sleep for days at a time when the nightmares get bad? Who's going to talk enough to fill his gaps in conversations? Who's going to remind him to cheer up when he goes quiet? Don't sell yourself short, kid.”

“But, I'm—”

“Going to ask him if he wants to go ice skating tonight because I know you grew up playing hockey, and you are secretly dying to go on an honest to goodness date with him, so why not ice skating?”

“I guess that I can ask him.”

“Good, now let's go find the perfect tree for our dysfunctional family, because the Pooch is hungry, but we can't go home empty handed,” Pooch says, patting the steering wheel before sliding back out of the car. Pooch breathes a sigh of relief when Jake actually follows him back onto the tree lot. “How about this one?” he asks, holding up a short, fat tree.

“Not enough height,” Jensen says softly walking over to another tree and holding it up for Pooch to see.

“This side's all weird,” Pooch says pointing to the side opposite Jake.

They wander around the lot, holding trees up for each other until they find one that suits their needs.

 


	7. Skating

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A double date at the ice rink

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a couple days late. Sunday I was writing a different story all day and didn't have time, then yesterday the internet in my entire neighborhood was down, so I couldn't post. So, today you'll get three fics.

Cougar gets back from Christmas shopping for his sister's children about twenty minutes before Jake and Pooch return from tree shopping. Jolene is in the kitchen stirring something that smells incredible in a skillet on the stove.

“Carlos, I see your adventure was successful,” she says pleasantly as she turns to look at him.

“Sí,” he replies with a nod, holding his bags a little higher for inspection.

“That's good. Your nieces and nephews are lucky to have such a good uncle.”

Cougar doesn't respond. He's not entirely sure he qualifies as a good uncle, but he certainly wishes they considered him one.

“Before you run upstairs and hide, Pooch and I are going ice skating tonight, and we thought you and Jake might be interested in joining us. A double date, not that I've been on one of those since high school,” she laughs, and the sound is warm and playful.

“Sí, I think Jake will like that,” Cougar says with a fond smile. Instead of disappearing right away, Cougar puts his bags down and goes to the cupboard to take out the dinner plates. It's a mismatched set, as is the silverware, but it's not like they entertain many guests. Erin had given them a real set of dishes two years ago, but one of Clay's exes had thrown all by one of them at his head when he broke up with her. He still has a scar, and they once again have no matching plates.

“I've been asking Linwood to take me skating for years, but we never seem to have the time with your unpredictable schedule,” Jolene talks while Cougar sets the table. It's going to be a cramped fit, but they'll make do. “I can't wait to see him fall on his ass,” she says happily. Cougar smiles because he's sure that Jensen will look forward to the same.

“Linwood mentioned that Jake used to skate?” she asks, pulling the skillet off the heat and tuning to face Cougar. Cougar smirks at her insistence on calling him Linwood, especially around the team.

“Jake played hockey when he was a child,” Cougar says with a shrug. Erin had told him about it when Cougar noticed a team picture hanging over her television. He knows that Jake had excelled at hockey as his home life deteriorated because he used it as an outlet for his anger and aggression. However, in high school his body caught up with his big personality, and he quit the team after sending a kid to the hospital. Erin said he could have gone pro, but he was terrified of really hurting someone. Yet he joined the army right out of high school.

“So he'll be skating circles around us,” she smiles, and Cougar returns it because that is likely exactly what he'll do. “It's good that he has you. He deserves love, so do you,” she says, puttering with the final touches of the meal.

Cougar ducks his head, because he refuses to blush over something so simple. He just isn't entirely used to people thinking he's good for anything by killing. “You do, Carlos,” she insists as though she knows exactly what he's thinking, and he really wouldn't be surprised if she can read thoughts. She always seems to know when Pooch is up to no good. “I was so happy for you two when Pooch told me you were together.”

Carlos doesn't mention that they've never actually announced that they are together. He knows that everyone is aware, so he's never really felt the need to advertise it. After all, nothing's really changed. He and Jensen have always been pretty much inseparable. They'd even shared a bed before, when Carlos' nightmares were bad. Or the time Jake's glasses had been destroyed on a mission, and he hadn't felt safe without Cougar at his back.

“We are happy,” he says finally, though she didn't ask a question.

“Good. Why don't you go get a head start on wrapping those gifts while we wait for the boys to get back from tree shopping?”

Cougar nods. He'd normally tip his hat, but he had to trade it for a knit cap because it's so cold out. It feels odd to be without it.

He carries his purchases up to his room and sets them out to be wrapped while he waits. He hasn't been at it five minutes before he hears Jensen and Pooch come through the door yelling about having the perfect tree. Carlos shakes his head and waits until he hears Jensen's heavy steps on the stairs before he gets up and opens the door.

“Cougs, we got an awesome tree, and I don't want to brag, but it may put your tree from last year to shame,” Jensen says with a lopsided grin as he wanders down the hall toward Cougar.

“Good,” Cougar says as he leans back against the doorway, so Jensen can enter his room.

“Oh did you get the little squirts a bunch of presents?” he asks as he takes a look at Cougar's bed, which is covered in gifts.

“Sí.”

“Oh man, you got them games for Play Station? Where were you when I was a kid? You know I've designed a computer game?” Jensen says as he sifts through the gifts. Cougar doesn't say anything, just cocks his head. “I mean what self-respecting army tech hasn't?”

“I would not know.”

“Yeah, well I don't know either, but this one has,” Jensen rambles, and suddenly Carlos knows he's nervous about something.

“What is wrong, Jake?” he asks as he sits on the edge of the bed and pulls Jensen to stand in front of him, between his spread legs.

“What? Nothing's wrong,” Jensen almost squeaks. “I, um, just have something to run by you. We don't have to do it if you don't want to, but Pooch made me promise to ask you on pain of death, and I'm too young to die, so I _have_ to ask you...”

“Jacob, _breathe_ ,” Cougar says, rubbing his hands up and down Jensen's forearms.

“Okay, yeah, doing that now. Sorry,” Jensen pauses to actually take a slow breath. “Pooch invited us to go ice skating, but it's totally up to you. I had nothing to do—”

“We can go,” Cougar says, cutting off Jake's nervous backpedaling.

“Really? I didn't think you'd want to. Not that you—”

“Ven aquí,” Cougar says pulling Jensen down until he is straddling Cougar's lap on the bed. “You like skating, so we will go,” Cougar says, reaching up to run his fingers through Jake's hair.

“But I don't want to make you do something you don't like,” Jake argues.

Cougar shakes his head and wraps his arms securely around Jensen's torso. “I do not mind skating. I have not done it in years.”

“But it's like a date, and I mean we aren't really out or anything, and people will see us together, and—”

“I understand that it is a date, Jake. I am not against being seen with you in public.”

“Really?” He sounds so shocked that Cougar needs to pull him in for a form kiss to wipe the uncertainty away. For all that Jensen talks, he understands best with tactile reinforcement.

“You really want to go?”

“Sí.”

“Oh man, this is gonna be awesome. I just know Pooch is gonna be floppin' around like a fish. I'll need to bring at least two camera's,” he starts to become excited. Cougar smiles as Jensen tells him about skating and how fun it's going to be. Even if it isn't fun, seeing Jake excited is worth it.

\---

Cougar watches Jensen bound out of the Jeep as soon as Pooch parks at the rink. He's inside and buying everyone tickets before they are even halfway to the door.

“I haven't seen him this excited since that time he put on that impromptu laser light show in the mess hall last year,” Pooch laughs when they walk in just in time to see Jensen collecting his ice skates.

“What are the odds he gets into a fight with a little kid?” Pooch asks, but Cougar shakes his head.

“Over/under...eight years old,” Cougar says, and Pooch snorts.

“Oh man, under. You want in, Baby?” Pooch asks as he pulls Jolene in and wraps his arm around her shoulder.

“I will not place bets on Jensen getting into fights,” she says with a huff, but then she turns to Cougar. “Ten dollars says Linwood gets taken out by a kid,” she says.

“Hey!”

“Twenty says he gets taken out by Jensen,” Cougar replies with a smile.

“You're on.”

“That's cold,” Pooch complains, but he doesn't pull away from Jolene. Cougar just smirks as he goes to get the skates Jensen is holding out for him. Jensen knowing the exact size skate to get Cougar isn't the weirdest thing Jake knows about him, so he doesn't even bat an eye when the rentals fit perfectly.

Jensen is bouncing on his skates on the rubber floor waiting for them all to tie up their skates, and Cougar stands to get into Jake's space. Jake turns to head for the rink, but Cougar catches his hand.

“Wait,” he says softly, and Jake turns to hear what Cougar has to say, but Cougar just squeezes his hand.

“Oh, I wasn't sure you'd want to...do this, you know?” Jensen says lifting their joined hands.

“A date, sí?” Cougar asks, pulling Jensen close to his body.

“Yeah,” Jake replies. The dopey smile he gets when he's happy eases the tighter worry lines he'd come in with.

They carefully step onto the ice. Cougar has incredible balance, but it is put to the test as he acclimates to the feeling of skating. Pooch doesn't make it ten feet before he's wobbling next to Jolene. She doesn't even try to suppress her laughter, and it makes Cougar smile and Jensen laugh. It's clear that Jensen is a far better skater than the rest of them, and he does in fact make a show of skating figure eights around them as they make slow progress.

He chatters happily, holding Cougar's hand when he's close enough to him. He even grabs Jolene and skates backwards as he pulls her along. She laughs excitedly as he keeps her steady. When Jensen comes back to Cougar, it's with arms wide, and Cougar doesn't protest the hug from behind.

“They're playin' my song,” Jensen says in his ear, and Cougar notes that “Rockin' Around the Christmas Tree” is playing over the loud speakers. Cougar has learned to selectively not hear this song for his sanity's sake. Jensen starts to bob back and forth to the beat of the music, and Cougar can hear Jolene cackling as he's abused. He scowls the whole time, but he lets Jensen tug him around as the song plays. “You know you love it, Cougs,” Jensen laughs as he skates backwards pulling Cougar along as he continues to wiggle to the music.

Cougar will never admit that he does if only because Jake's smile is so innocent as he whips them around the rink. When a slower Christmas song comes on, Jake makes to pull away, but Cougar reels him in. They skate side by side, hand in hand, completely in time with each others movements. They're both quiet as they skate, but it is a relaxed silence. It feels good to hold each other in the open. Until now, it was only something they'd done in private, and right now even simply holding hands feels monumental. Jensen isn't pulling away or talking nervously. He's as content as Cougar, and it feels good. Cougar's dignity can survive a night of flailing around on ice if it means more moments like this.

Cougar is completely aware of their surroundings, but at the same time he's tuned them down to just be background information. His attention is focused on Jensen and how graceful he is on the ice. He is surprisingly agile on firm ground, but there is such a beauty to his movement on the ice.

“You're lookin' at me funny,” Jake says as another song comes on. Cougar just shrugs and bumps his shoulder with his own. “Fine, be all mysterious.” Cougar smirks over at him, and Jake grumbles.

“I am glad we came,” Cougar says, and Jensen's smile is blinding when he hears it.

“I told you it was gonna be awesome, and I'm going to have enough pictures of Pooch flapping like a bird to paper the living room,” Jake says as he covertly snaps another shot of Pooch wobbling with his phone. “Can we take Beth skating when we go home for Christmas?” Jensen asks as he watches several children sweep by them.

Cougar is about to say yes when one of the children that just passed them cuts too close to Pooch and startles the much larger man. They watch as he throws his arms up to steady himself, but it does little to help as he falls back on his ass. Jensen has to take a moment to stop and catch his breath as he cackles at Pooch.

By the time that Jensen wipes the tears out of his eyes and skates over to help him up, Pooch is already halfway there, and Jensen flying toward him out of the corner of his eye startles Pooch into falling right back on his ass.

Cougar has to steady Jolene; she's laughing so hard at her husband. Jensen helps him up, not even unsteadied by supporting Pooch's weight.

“Come on, Pooch. It's much more fun up here, I swear,” Jensen says and he tugs him up then starts to pat away the ice shavings all over Pooch's back.

“You're cold, Jolene,” Pooch says as Jolene and Cougar exchange money.

“Oh what are we betting on?” Jensen asks, eyes excited behind his foggy glasses.

“Let's skate,” Cougar says with a smile, but Jensen pouts.

“I want to play too!”

“You already did,” Cougar assures him, and Jake gives him a funny look, but the he turns to skate backwards around Cougar.

“Watch this,” he says before taking off like a shot and speeding all the way to the other side of the rink. When he gets there, he turns quickly and speeds back, directly toward Cougar. He veers just a little before he rides the broad sides of his blades in a hard break, sending a wave of ice up as he stops right in front of Cougar and leans in for a kiss.

Cougar shakes his head at Jake's antics, but he accepts the chaste kiss, tugging Jake's knit cap down as he does. Several girls skating nearby titter at the show and one of them blushes scarlet when Jake pulls up his hat waves at them and Cougar nods.

By the time they pack it in, Pooch is mostly bruises. Jolene's makeup is running after crying from laughing so hard. Jake is already babbling about the next time and how they need to get Pooch a walker and knee pads. Jake did not get into any fights with children, though that could have something to do with Cougar distracting him. All in all, Cougar has to say it was a good first date.

 


	8. Wanna Build a Snowman?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jensen wants to build a snowman, but he gets sidetracked.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is explicit. I think I may be going to hell for using that title for the chapter.

“Cougar, Cougar.”

Cougar wakes to Jensen's voice and his insistent shaking. Cougar cracks one eye in the dark to see Jensen kneeling over him patting at his shoulder excitedly.

“Cougar, it's snowing! Like real snow, not the teasing flurry kind,” Jensen says, glancing over at the window to Cougar's bedroom, which he clearly threw open before waking Cougar.

Carlos glances at the window then at his bedside clock. “It is three in the morning, Jensen,” he says rolling onto his back, so Jake can straddle his hips.

Jake takes the invitation without hesitation. “I know. So, you want to go out and build a snowman with me?” he asks, and Cougar can feel the hope dripping from his voice. The downside to having a man-child lover who grew up in New England is definitely the overwhelming excitement for the first snow of the year.

“It will be there in the morning,” Cougar says diplomatically, because telling Jake to fuck off and let him sleep is not really in his vocabulary.

“But what if it melts by morning, or the assholes down the street come and ruin our snow, because they're jealous I put their dinky light display to shame, or—”

“It will be there in the morning,” Cougar repeats, pulling his hands out from under his blankets to rest them on Jake's hips. He almost pulls them away immediately when he feels how cold Jensen's skin is. “You went outside in this?” he asks, feeling more than seeing that Jake is in nothing more than boxers.

“Well, I had to make sure it was good packing snow for snowmen,” Jake says as though it's obvious.

“How long?” Cougar asks seriously as he runs his hands over Jensen's icy skin.

“Just a couple minutes...maybe twenty,” Jake admits sheepishly. “But it's really good snow, Cougs. You should come out—oof!” Jensen grunts as Cougar easily knocks Jake to the side and reverses their positions, the blanket still between them.

“I will come outside when you are warm,” Carlos promises as he wraps Jensen in the blankets like a burrito. He removes his glasses and places them on the bedside table.

“I'm fine, Cougs.”

“You warm up first,” Cougar repeats himself before sliding in beside Jake's cold body. He shudders as his chest meets Jake's, and he feels the goosebumps rise on his skin.

“Why didn't you say you were going to warm me up?” Jake asks happily as he wraps his arms around Cougar's shoulders, burying his cold nose in Carlos' neck. Cougar doesn't even grumble as they lie together, sharing body heat.

“You think Roque will be pissed if I put his fishing hat on the snowman?” Jake asks as he tangles their legs, so he can rest his feet on Cougar's calves.

“Sí, but you will do it anyway,” Cougar says, yawning as he fights away sleep. He still hasn't had a decent night's sleep since they've returned from their most recent assignment, and it gets harder every night to fight it off when Jensen inevitably comes in for some reason or other.

“Can you sneak into Clay's room and steal that bikini one of the crazy ladies left behind?” Jensen asks, his own voice sounding sleepy.

“Not tonight. When he is out tomorrow,” Cougar says, reaching up to massage the base of Jake's skull.

“Mmm, okay. I can work with that,” Jake's voice is fading.

“Good.”

They fall asleep tangled together.

\---

“Cougar, Cougar.”

Cougar wakes to the same insistent voice he had...two hours ago, he confirms as he glances over at the clock again.

“Cougar, I'm all warmed up, can we—”

“Sí, go put on real clothing this time,” Cougar says softly even as he rolls into Jensen's heat and begins nipping at his neck.

“Wait, that's not fair, Cougs. That's fighting—oh god, yeah do that again,” Jensen moans as Cougar bites his neck just enough to threaten. Cougar smiles against his skin and nips him again.

Jensen is a moaning mess even before Cougar rolls on top of him and lies between his legs. He grinds down on Jensen slowly as he trails kisses up to the other man's lips. Jensen's pleased ramblings cease as soon as Cougar captures his lips with this own, keeping the kiss gentle.

Jensen rolls his hips to meet Cougar's, so their growing erections rub together, creating wonderful friction. Jensen buries his fingers in Cougar's hair and tries to deepen the kiss, but Cougar remains firmly in control of the embrace.

“Do not rush,” Cougar chides, worrying Jensen's bottom lip between his teeth. Jensen whines, bucking his hips, and it makes Cougar chuckle.

Cougar slides their boxers down with deft fingers, and Jensen immediately wraps one leg around his hips to bring them closer. Cougar deepens the kiss as their erections meet, sliding against each other.

He reaches into his bedside drawer while Jensen is thoroughly distracted by kissing Cougar. He gropes around carefully until he finds the lube and grabs it. Jensen's hands pull lightly against his scalp, and Cougar purrs at the sensation. He knows that Jensen would be making jokes about him actually being a cat if he weren't so preoccupied, but Cougar can't deny that he loves when Jensen grabs with his hair.

He manages to slick his palm and reaches between them as they continue to grind against each other. He wraps his fingers around both of their erections, and Jensen lets out an almost pained cry.

“Yes, oh god, Cougs. Just like—oh,” Jensen hiccups as Cougar gives them a few firm pumps. He smiles against Jensen's lips when the younger man is reduced to little more than incoherent babble.

Cougar flicks his wrist on the upstroke, appreciating the way it makes Jensen's whole body tense in pleasure. He watches his lover slowly fall apart beneath him in the predawn light.

Jensen continues to thrust his hips up to maintain friction, but he's basically clinging to Cougar and trusting him to take him along for the ride. Jensen is probably the most enthusiastic and involved partner Cougar has ever had, but morning sex seems to fry Jensen's circuits until he is completely at Cougar's mercy. Cougar can't say that he minds the control.

Just because he can, he slows down his strokes and pulls back just enough, so he can attack Jensen's neck again. As soon as Jensen's mouth is no longer occupied, he begins babbling again.

“Cougs, you're killing me. This...this isn't fair.”

“Would you like me to stop?” Carlos asks before running his tongue along Jensen's jugular.

“Don't you fuckin' dare, you sadistic kitty,” Jensen orders, gripping Cougar's hair more tightly. Cougar chuckles before picking up the speed of his hand again.

Precome mixes with lube as they basically fuck his fist together. Cougar feels himself building, and he can tell that Jensen is on the brink. He twists his wrist again on the next stroke, and he watches in awe as Jensen's face contorts in pleasure, and his whole body tenses with release. Jensen moans through it as he comes over Cougar's fist, slicking his strokes further.

Cougar chases his own release as Jensen goes boneless beneath him. Cougar keeps his eyes open as he comes and sees Jensen looking up at him with the dopey grin he always wears after sex. It makes Cougar's toes curl from the amount of love it holds.

They lie together, panting softly, and regaining their composure. Jensen wrinkles his nose when Cougar removes his hand from between them, still covered in come. Cougar wipes his hand on his boxers after he kicks them off completely, and uses them to clean up their stomachs as well.

“Do you still want to build a snowman?” Cougar asks softly as he runs the fingers of his clean hand through Jensen's bedhead.

“Damn right I do, just give me a minute,” Jake says with a smile. Cougar leans down to kiss him softly before he gets off the bed and begins pulling on his warm clothes.

By the time Cougar pulls on enough clothing to keep the chill out, Jensen is completely dressed in jeans and an oversized Christmas sweater with a vibrantly colored knit cap on his head. This sweater looks like it has several reindeer having sex on it, and Cougar's sorry to say that isn't even the most offensive sweater he's worn this week. Pooch threatened to burn the one with Santa and Mrs. Claus if Jensen ever even thought about wearing it around him again.

“Cougar, you're gonna burn up in all that clothing,” Jensen says as he watches Cougar tuck his jeans into his combat boots and lace them up tight. He refuses to have wet socks at five in the morning when he isn't on a mission running for his life. “Look what I found,” Jensen says when Cougar is finally dressed. He holds up the fishing hat that belongs to Roque with an innocent smile that Cougar can't help returning.

“Come on,” Cougar says, taking Jensen's hand and leading him out of the room. They sneak downstairs and out the back door since the front lawn is covered in lights and ornaments. Jensen takes off like a shot as soon as they are out the door. He flops in the snow just off the patio and begins flapping his arms and legs babbling about snow angels. Cougar reaches down with mittened hands and packs a clump of snow together before aim and hitting Jensen square in the chest.

“Hey!”

Jensen's on his feet, packing his own snowball in seconds. Cougar easily dodges the first throw since he's expecting it, but Jensen has the glint of determination in his eyes.

 


	9. Snowball Fight

“What the hell is going on out here?” Clay asks as he stumbles to the back door in boxers and boots. He makes the mistake of leaning his head out the door and is immediately hit by one, then another snowball. “What the fuck? Jensen!”he shouts as he wipes snow from his face.

“Coug hit you too,” Jake chimes helpfully as he hurls another snowball.

“That's it. It's on, soldier,” Clay growls, disappearing into the house.

“That sounded omin-oof,” Jake says as Cougar hits him in the back of the head from the tree he climbed into. Jay turns to glare at him but has the common sense to duck the follow up throw. Sadly, Cougar has the common sense to aim low and hits Jake in the center of his chest. Cougar's smirk is very smug.

Jensen returns fire, running around the yard, dodging Cougar's shots. He's almost forgotten Clay entirely, when he and Roque burst from around the side of the house, each hurling snow at Jake.

“Ah! Cougar, what kind of sniper are you? You didn't even see them coming?” Jake shouts at him as he runs away from the others. When he looks up at Cougar, he's still smirking. “Turn coat!”

To make him feel better, Cougar nails Roque in the back of the head. The man should've worn a hat.

“Guys, what the hell? It's 5:30,” Pooch says as he and Jolene step onto the back patio, bundled up tight. Everyone freezes for a moment and turns to look at the couple.

“Don't even think about it, Franklin,” Jolene says as Clay winds up to pitch one at Pooch. He immediately lowers his arm, and Cougar hits him while he's distracted.

“I'm going back to bed. Someone kept us up half the night drunkenly singing Christmas carols.” Pooch says as he grabs Jolene's hand. Everyone turns to look a Roque who grunts. Pooch begins to turn to go back inside.

“The hell we are,” she says as she reaches down to pack snow together.

“Shit, Jolene's joined the match,” Jake shouts as he dives for cover from Cougar, who has moved to the roof which has far more ammunition on it than the tree.

Jolene makes a direct hit to Clay's ass on her first throw, and Pooch provides cover fire as she heads for Jensen. Jake squeals as she pulls back his sweater and shoves snow under it. She gets hit in the butt by Cougar for her trouble, but he tips his hat at her grinning.

“You play dirty,” Jake squeaks as he shakes the snow out of his shirt.

“God dammit, Frank! Your children woke mine, so you deal with them,” Mrs. Spencer shouts from next door. The woman took one look at them when they moved in and ever since insists that they are frat boys and not soldiers. A minute later, two nine year old boys come tearing into the yard to join the fight.

“Sorry, Mrs. Spencer,” Clay cringes as the boys leap on Jake. He spins them around in a circle as Jolene and Cougar pelt all three with snow. The boys waste no time joining the action and get several impressive hits.

Mr. Simmons, who lives on their other side, glares at them as he waddles out to start his car, bundled head to toe against the weather. Cougar is glad he isn't headed to work right now, but then again, he gets shot at for a living, well he shoots people for a living, so maybe Mr. Simmons should suck it up.

They do battle until the sun comes up, or more precisely the clouds become a lighter shade of gray. Jensen collapses in the snow after almost two hours of combat. The twins flop down around him and use him as a pillow. “I surrender,” Jake says, breathing hard. Jolene reclines against the tree Cougar vacated, and Cougar is perched on the roof line. Clay and Roque double over, panting hard, while Pooch lies where he was struck down just feet from the back door. He'd tried to make a run for the kitchen, but Cougar had dumped snow from the roof right on top of him.

“Who wants to build a snowman?” Jake wheezes.

“I want a hot shower and breakfast,” Pooch groans as he pulls himself to his feet. Just as he stands, another sheet of snow falls on top of him.

Everyone, including Jolene laughs at him as he glares up at Cougar. “My foot slipped,” Cougar says with an innocent shrug.

“We aren't friends right now, man,” Pooch grumbles, stomping across the patio to dislodge most of the snow stuck to him.

Cougar comes down from the roof by the time everyone but Jake and the kids are inside. Cougar lifts one of the twins—Scott, he thinks; it's hard to tell under so many layers— off of Jensen and places him on his feet. Jensen lifts the other as he stands.

They all trudge to the front yard where there is still a patch of undisturbed snow. Cougar helps the boys make the base of the snowman, while Jensen works on the body and head. Then Cougar and Jensen lift the body onto the base, and Jensen adds the head and Roque's hat, while the boys gather twigs for arms.

As Jensen hums happily making a face with pebbles, Cougar slinks behind him and holds out a neon pink bikini.

“When did you get it?” Jake smiles, turning to hug the sniper.

Cougar shrugs and points to the roof. Clay's bedroom window is easily accessed from the roof, and Jensen can even see Cougar's footprints in front of it. “Snowball fight was a good distraction,” Cougar says.

They come inside fifteen minutes later for breakfast. On the front lawn between all of the other crass decorations is their snowman in Roque's hat and a crazy lady's bikini.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> With this fic, I'm all caught up, and will resume posting a fic per day until something else sets me back. I hope you're enjoying these so far. I can't believe we're already nine days in.


	10. Baking Cookies

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jolene and Pooch bake Christmas cookies.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've sort of been mean to Pooch in a couple chapters, so I thought I'd give him some love today. This is to make up for burying him under snow last chapter.

 Pooch comes in from the garage where he's been working on the Jeep all morning. Jolene is in the kitchen with every bowl they own—which admittedly is not many—preparing to bake. “Hey, baby,” he says as he leans in for a kiss, keeping his dirty hands away from her pale sweater.

She smiles at him as she wipes a smudge of grease off his cheek. “Hey yourself. Done playing with the car?” she asks pulling butter and eggs out of the refrigerator.

“I don't play.”

That earns him an eye roll.

“I figured I'd wash up and see what you were up to,” he says stepping out of her way as she brings the ingredients to the table.

“I'm baking cookies, so if you get washed up maybe you can taste the first batch while you help me with the others,” she smiles.

“I can do that,” he promises before leaning in for another kiss. “Or you could come shower with me, and we could make the first batch together afterward,” he suggests, nipping at her smile.

“There are children around,” she hisses, suppressing a laugh.

“Jensen's had more sex in that shower than anyone,” Pooch whines.

“Linwood, it is two in the afternoon. I am not having shower sex with you in a house with four other guys wandering around and no lock on the bathroom door,” she says before slapping his ass. “Now hurry up, or Roque will eat all the cookies,” she smiles.

“Yeah yeah,” Pooch laughs before hurrying upstairs to take a shower, all alone.

When he comes back down, he glances into the living room to see Cougar watching How the Grinch Stole Christmas. He walks into the room to ask since when he was into Christmas movies, only to find Jensen stretched out on the couch with his head in Cougar's lap. Cougar's one hand is buried in Jake's spiky hair while the other strokes the line of his back.

Pooch backs out of the room as quietly as he can, not wanting to disturb the moment. Instead, he slips into the kitchen where Jolene is bent over the open oven, pushing the first batch of cookies inside. He tiptoes behind her, and waits until she's cleared the oven before wrapping his arms around her waist as kissing the side of her neck. She laughs lightly as he lifts her off her feet.

“Put me down, so I can set the timer,” she says, and he slowly puts her back on her feet after a couple more kisses.

“Go mix the ingredients in the blue bowl then add the eggs,” she instructs as she studies the stove and sets the timer. Pooch goes over and begins to mix the ingredients in the bowl. This time it's Jolene that wraps herself around him and distracts him as he mixes. She nibbles his ear when he tries to crack the first egg and half of it ends up on the table and the other half on his hand. She laughs as she takes the other egg and easily breaks it over the bowl.

“You cheated,” he says as he goes to wash the egg off his hand while she gets another one out of the fridge.

“I didn't cheat. You're just easily distracted,” she says primly, cracking the new egg with one hand and neatly getting its contents into the bowl.

Pooch gets a glint in his eye as he slides into Jolene's space. “Easily distracted, huh?” he asks as he leans down to kiss her then pulls her close to his body and dips her. He kisses along her jaw and down her neck when she gasps.

“Who's cheating now?” She asks when he lets her back up. Pooch grins at her before walking back to the table and starting to mix the egg into the other ingredients.

Jolene brings another bowl over and stands beside him, measuring and pouring ingredients in. Every once in a while she bumps her hip to his and sends him a soft smile which he always returns.

It's something his lifestyle doesn't really let them enjoy very often, just simple afternoons spent together. They cherish them all the more for their rarity. Jolene shows him how to properly mix the ingredients after he loses some over the side of the bowl when he's distracted by her removing the other cookies from the oven. She takes his hand as the cookies cool and shows him how to fold the dough in, so none of it gets lost. Then she scoops the dough that Pooch spilled up with her finger and brings it to his lips.

Pooch smiles as he wraps his lips around the digit and takes the cookie dough. His tongue snakes out as he pulls away and licks the last off the mixture off the tip of her finger. She smiles seductively as she leans up to kiss him.

“Why don't we let Cougar finish baking these, and we go upstairs?” Pooch suggests, knowing Cougar's talents in the kitchen are quite incredible and wanting to get his wife alone.

“Patience,” Jolene says instead as she takes his bowl and starts putting its contents onto a cookie tray. Pooch helps her, stealing a piece to feed her as they go, and she nips his finger playfully as he pulls it back.

“What do I get for being patient, Mrs. Porteous?” he asks softly after she's put the next batch in the oven and is standing in the circle of his arms.

“Maybe I'll let you have an early Christmas present, Mr. Porteous,” she says giving him a soft peck on the lips.

“And what might that be?”

“You'll have to unwrap it to find out, but I'll tell you that it's wrapped in red lace,” she says with a seductive smile. Pooch groans as he pulls her closer.

“How many more batches?” he asks, leaning his forehead against hers.

“Only four,” she says with an innocent smile.

Pooch groans again before shuffling her toward the bowls on the table. “Come on, let's go,” he says, suddenly becoming the most efficient chef. It's still the longest hour of his life before Jensen is sleepily sitting at the kitchen table with a glass of milk and a stack of Christmas cookies to test, and Jolene is letting Pooch pull her up the stairs to his room.

The gift wrapping is beautiful, but the gift itself is perfect.

 


	11. I'll Be the One to Face Your Worst Nightmares

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cougar's nightmares don't hold off just because it's holiday season.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tonight, I wanted to look at a different side of Jake, and I guess by extension a bit of a different side of Cougar too.
> 
> Warnings: allusions to PTSD though it is not said explicitly, Cougar definitely suffers from it. Aftermath of traumatic nightmares.

The scream wakes the whole house, and it lasts for nearly a minute. By the time Clay pulls on pants and gets into the hall, the whole team and Jolene are out there, except for Cougar. Cougar's door is shut tight, though they can still hear the aftershock of his nightmare in the silence. Violent retches and ragged breaths stark against the collective silence of the group.

Jake stands directly outside Cougar's door, while the others stand by their respective rooms. Clay learns several things in this moment. First, Jake and Cougar don't share a room as they all assumed they did. Second, Jake has more self control than Clay ever gave him credit for, maybe more than any of them. Clay knows for certain that if he heard that scream from his lover, he'd have kicked that door down already. Hell, he wants to kick it down now.

“Carlos, open the door,” Jake says firmly as he stands there. Cougar's labored breathing is loud enough to penetrate the thick door into the hall.

Jolene looks like she wants to cry or maybe hold Jensen, who's wearing the face he uses when staring down hostile enemy combatants.

“Carlito, abre la puerta,” Jake says this time. He doesn't look at them. He doesn't let them see his eyes as he speaks to Cougar like they're the only two in the house. He blocks them from his and Cougar's private moment even as they all watch. He doesn't look anywhere but the door in front of his face, like he can see Cougar suffering behind it and can't turn away from him.

A ragged, moaning breath comes from the room as though Cougar has run miles in the desert heat. Jolene grips Pooch's arm, while Roque breaks and walks forward. He reaches past Jensen for the door knob, but as he turns it, Jake's hand reaches out like lightning and grips his wrist.

“It's not even locked,” Roque says, as though he doesn't understand why Jake hasn't just gone in. None of them can understand.

“He has to open it,” Jake says, his voice deathly calm. He definitely has more self control than them. “Carlos, let me in,” Jake's voice is soft this time. Clay doesn't think for a second that he's talking about the door. “You're home with me. We still have bellyaches from too many of Jolene's cookies,” he says when the door still doesn't open.

Clay is itching to burst in there, guns blazing, but he doesn't know the first thing about fixing Cougar. Jensen clearly has done this before, so he leaves the burden to him even though he'd rather not.

Quiet Spanish prayers filter though the door, begging forgiveness, and now Jolene is definitely crying silently against Pooch's shoulder.

“You aren't a monster, Carlos. You're mine, and I love you, and no amount of blood can wash that away,” Jake says earnestly. Clay feels like he's intruding now, but he can't go back into his room until he knows that Cougar will be alright. Jake clearly doesn't care whether they're there for this or not. Every atom of him is concentrated on Cougar.

The rambling stops for a moment, and Jake takes it as his cue to speak. “I was thinking yesterday that our anniversary is coming up in a few weeks,” he says softly. He doesn't sound unsure, but there is a waver to his voice that Clay can't place. “Remember how badly I reacted to that tear gas, and you spent the entire six hour flight home talking to me, so I wouldn't panic because I couldn't see anything? When we hit that patch of turbulence, and I couldn't stop screaming. So you kissed me and promised you wouldn't let anything happen to me. Do you remember that? Do you remember what I promised you when they finally let me out of the hospital?”

The bedroom door opens just a crack as Jensen asks this. None of them get so much as a glimpse of Cougar as Jensen flashes them a tired smile and slips through the door. There are unshed tears shining in his eyes but refusing to fall. The waver in his voice must have been from holding them back.

“Hey, you let me in,” Clays hears softly through the still open door.

“Siempre,” Cougar's voice is raw.

“Hey, hey. Look at me. We're here, in the flesh. Feel that?” Clay hears as they're all still rooted to the floor, watching the door as though there will be an explosion and flames will start shooting out any second now.

Clay clears his throat, and everyone in the hall turns to look at him, not hearing Cougar's response. “Maybe we should give them some privacy,” he suggests. He knows he isn't going to be able to sleep with Cougar's screams echoing in his head, but this isn't fair to either Cougar or Jensen.

Cougar's nightmares are known by the whole team, but they stay out of it, and until tonight he'd not woken them with screams since they moved into the house.

Jolene is the first to move, understanding that while she wants to help, she has even less claim to be there than the rest of them—which is not to say any of them have the right to this moment. “I'll make some coffee,” she says as she turns and heads down the stairs on slippered feet.

“I'll come with,” Pooch whispers before following his wife downstairs.

Clay and Roque share a significant look. Clearly, Roque doesn't want to leave it this way. Maybe he doesn't trust Jensen with such a delicate situation; maybe he doesn't trust Cougar right now with Jensen.

“This isn't our fight,” Clay says, turning toward the stairs himself.

“You think he's got what it takes to fix that?” Roque asks in disbelief.

“No one does. But he's the one Cougar opened the door for,” Clay sighs. “Come on, I'm not going to be able to sleep now. I've got a bottle of Scotch in my closet,” Clay waves Roque into his room. They both take one last look at the barely opened door before slipping into Clay's room.

\---

“Feel that?” Jensen asks him as he rests Cougar's hand over his heart. It would be corny if their lives weren't in almost constant danger of being snuffed out. Sometimes a pulse is the only hope you've got. The pulse ringing in your own ears, reminding you to run faster for fear that you'll stop hearing it. The pulse in your teammate's neck to let you know there's still time to un-fuck things.

“Sí,” Carlos tries to match his breaths to Jensen's heartbeat. Its elevated pace gives away Jensen's worry in a way that his calm tone and features don't. Though Carlos doesn't need to feel Jensen's frantic heart to know that Jensen feels Cougar's pain, feels the helplessness, and it kills Cougar that what his nightmares do to him is what he's doing to Jensen. He also knows that Jensen can bear his weight. He's been bearing the burdens of others nightmares since he was a child trying to be strong for his sister, his mother, himself.

Cougar digs his blunt nails into Jensen's chest trying to tether himself here, away from the images of those who didn't deserve his bullets. Jensen grips his arm and pulls him closer, sharing his breath but not wrapping his arms around Carlos. He knows not to trap him, not to suffocate him.

Cougar's head is a mess, and he only hears a fraction of the words spilling out of Jensen's mouth. However, some part of him registers the soothing tone of his voice, because he can feel the tension bleeding out of his shoulders slowly the longer Jake stays.

“Do you remember what I promised you?” Jake asks, and Carlos would sooner forget is own name than forget Jake's promise.

“Sí,” Carlos breathes, but he can't repeat the promise. He's always felt it too much of a burden to place on Jake, on anyone.

“What'd I promise you?” he asks pressing their foreheads together. Once Cougar broke his nose when he'd still been too lost in the nightmares to realize it was Jake in his space. Still, Jake never shies away from showing him love when he needs it most.

“You...”

There is a long silence, but Jensen doesn't press him. He just stands there, still as a board. A setting none of the others believe he has. They underestimate Jake every day, but Carlos knows. He knows how strong, how resilient, how giving Jacob Jensen truly is. And because Jake is all of those things and so much more, Carlos finds the words.

“You promised you would always find me, no matter where I went. You'd always find me,” Carlos whispers against Jake's lips. He wants to kiss them, but he doesn't deserve kisses, and his mouth tastes foul with sick. The entire room smells like whatever Cougar threw up after his nightmare.

However, Carlos' reservations have no bearing on Jensen, and he tips the milometers forward to seal their lips together. He still doesn't wrap Carlos in his arms, only touching him where their lips meet and Jake holds Carlos' hand to his beating heart.

Like a beacon in the darkest night, it is all Carlos can perceive around him. Like the sound of Jake's voice that led him to the bedroom door, Carlos uses Jake's light to reach out and wrap his shaking arms around Jake's trim waist. He feels Jake's shuddering breath against his lips as he does this, and he knows he's done the right thing.

“May I?” Jake asks tentatively.

“Please.”

Carlos is immediately wrapped in Jake's warmth, and it's the first time that he doesn't feel the chill of the grave in his flesh since he woke. Jake's embrace is safe and familiar. He's here. They're alive. He feels his breathing finally begin to even out with Jensen's.

Jake's the only person, other than his mother, who's been able to comfort him without making him feel weak. Maybe it's because Jensen has no pride to speak of that allows Carlos to overlook his own. Maybe it's because Jensen has never shied away from Carlos' comforting touches or away from showing Carlos his own weaknesses.

“We're home, and there are still three dozen cookies downstairs just waiting to be eaten,” Jake rambles into Carlos' sweaty hair. “I bet Jolene won't even mind if we snitch a whole dozen and bring them up here to eat in bed.”

Carlos actually chuckles at that, holding Jensen just a fraction tighter. He can't possibly eat anything right now, but he likes the image Jake paints. He likes all of Jake's ideas, even the awful ones because they keep him grounded. They keep him here, where he wants to be, with Jensen and the team. They remind him that he wants to be found when he loses himself. He didn't always want to be found. He hadn't wanted that before he'd landed with the losers, back when there had been more shady missions with shady teams and undeserving targets than legitimate ones, but Jensen makes him remember the goodness in the world.

“No food,” he says. He needs a shower more than anything, but he's not sure he's going to stay standing if Jake steps away from him, so he says nothing, but Jake knows.

“Then why don't we clean up and take this party over to my room where there are Christmas carols and over 300 pictures of Pooch falling down on ice skates?” Jensen suggests, pressing a kiss to Carlos' forehead.

Carlos just nods, trusting Jake to take care of things for now. Jake leads him to the bathroom, and doesn't say a word as he strips them both, never completely breaking contact with Carlos. Jake steadies him when he starts to list; the adrenaline fading fast, leaving his body crashing hard.

Jake lets him lean against his chest in the shower while he cleans himself. Jake doesn't try to help other than lending his sturdy presence. He knows Carlos needs to cleanse himself of the nightmares— of the haunting memories—and as much as he wishes that Jake could wash it all away, it's something he needs to do himself.

When he's scrubbed his skin almost raw, they stand under the hot water for a long time just leaning against each other, lending their strength to hold the other up. Jensen's shaking now, his own adrenaline abandoning him, so Carlos laces their fingers to steady them.

Jensen doesn't break the silence as they stand there. He doesn't need words when they're like this, one mind and body holding itself together. Carlos shuts the water off as it begins to run cold, and Jake grabs them towels. They don't bother to dry themselves, just wrapping the fabric around their hips before stumbling to Jake's room.

They don't stop until they collapse into his bed, losing the towels in the process. They lie among the rumpled covers, naked limbs intertwined. They share a pillow with a cartoon character's face on it. Their foreheads are pressed together, and their hands are pressed to each others chests, feeling the steady beat inside.

“I meant it,” Jake finally breaks the silence because neither of them are going to sleep for a long time, and their thoughts are too heavy in the silence.

“I know,” Carlos assures him.

“Did you even hear half of what I said?”

“No, but I love you too. Even when I don't know who, or what, or where I am,” Carlos says.

Jake is quiet for a moment letting the weight of Carlos' words settle.

“Okay.” He says it as though Carlos just told him to pick up paper towels at the grocery story, but somethings just make sense to Jake, and Carlos seems to be one of them. “So, do we start with the classics or go straight for 'Santa Baby'?” Jake asks pulling a remote off the bedside table.

“ _Classic_ ,” Carlos stresses as Jake presses a couple buttons. “Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas” starts to play from the speakers that Jake has set up around the room. Carlos smiles softly as it was one of his mother's favorites. It's strangely comforting to hear something so laced with memories he can't got back to again.

He can't wake up screaming in his sister's house. He can't explain what he did to her children when they'd ask why he never visits or what he does. Being a ghost is better than being a monster who brings horrors home with him. Still, those are good memories, and they help drown out his own screams that echo in his mind.

They just lie together listening to song after song, somehow Jake keeps anything too loud or obnoxious from playing and disturbing their moment. Around dawn, Carlos finally feels himself being lulled back to sleep in the safety of Jake's arms.

 


	12. Trimming the Tree

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The team trims their Christmas tree.

Jensen comes out of his room around one the next day. He hums carols as he wanders down the hallway. Today, he wears a plain white t-shirt with little trees and obstacles on the front and a poorly drawn figure on skis being eaten by an equally stick figure-y abominable snow monster. Jensen is very proud of the shirt, but no one else really understands it.

He puts on his game face and he slides down the banister, much more smoothly than one might expect, but that is probably because no one is in the room to see Jensen's perfect dismount. He can hear people in the kitchen. It's Jolene's last day with them before she flies back home, so Jensen figures that they'll probably want some time to themselves.

However, when he waltzes into the kitchen, everyone is sitting in there, looking a bit glum. “What's the matter? Everyone looks like their favorite puppy just died,” Jake says, keeping the smile firmly in place. Four pairs of worried eyes look up at him. He can see all of the questions running through their minds, but none of them have the courage to ask.

“How are you, Jensen? I made snowman pancakes,” Jolene offers, standing up and going to the oven where she's been keeping them warm.

“Oh, yummy. Did you give them chocolate chip buttons and eyes? You did!” he says happily grabbing two snowman shaped pancakes and biting one of their heads off, complete with begging for mercy and chomping sounds. “You're the best Jolene. Don't let Pooch tell you differently,” Jake says happily devouring the first pancake then narrowing his eyes at the second. “You're next. Don't think you can escape it,” he tells the pancake.

Jake doesn't really pay attention to anything as he grabs a plate and syrup and three more pancakes. He talks to and for his food as he tears the snowmen apart, pouring syrup over where their cakey limbs once were.

He looks up when he's finished his last pancake, to find four pair of horrified eyes watching him as he chews with his mouth open. “What?” he asks.

“You okay, Jay?” Pooch asks, looking mildly nauseated.

“Yeah, why you ask?”

“Jake, you just committed a pancake snowman massacre complete with sound effects and commentary,” Clay says as though Jensen wasn't aware.

Jake scoffs. “I wouldn't call five pancakes a massacre, Colonel. Someone's being melodramatic.”

Roque chuckles at that, and it eases some of the tension lingering in the room. He can still feel their worry, but they're also buying that Jake is business as usual.

“So, I was thinking that since it's our last day together as one big happy family, we should trim the tree,” he suggests. Jolene smiles sweetly at him as does Pooch. Roque and Clay look less excited. “And no getting out of it this year,” he says pointing his fork at Clay then Roque.

They must really be pitying him because no one makes any complaints, and they don't even mention that he's going to let Cougar get out of it. He'd normally hate their pitying looks, and well it's not that he doesn't hate it, but he can't talk about Cougar's nightmares. They aren't his to talk about first of all, and he just can't physically do it. He can and will be there for Cougar whenever he needs him, but that's between them. As much as he loves his team—his family—there are just some things that he can't share with them.

He thinks that they get that. It's why he can see the questions on the tips of their tongues, but they never spill over. It's why Clay hasn't ordered him to speak, because he could. It doesn't take a genius to realize that Cougar's mental stability could be a liability in the field, but it also doesn't take a genius to realize that Cougar's the least likely to ever let himself be a liability to the team.

“So, who's going to help me carry it in?” he asks, diverting his own attention from the exhausted man up stairs. Cougar's awake. Jensen gave him a long massage before he came down here, trying to work some of the lingering tension out of Cougar's body. He just isn't ready to face the rest of them right now, and Jensen will never hold that against him. Jensen wishes he could be up there with him right now, but he also isn't really up for facing Jake either, and while that stings a little, Jake understands it. Cougar doesn't need a distraction right now; he needs silence so he can sort himself out.

Pooch immediately offers to help. He's awesome like that. Jolene's equally awesome for driving her heel into his foot to make him volunteer, even though he was already going to. Jake doesn't miss the narrow eyed exchange, and it tugs at his heart a little.

“Awesome, that means that Clay and Roque can be in charge of getting the decorations out of the attic,” Jake smiles. He's pretty sure that there is a family of squirrels living up there. Let them deal with that, because Jake doesn't want to be attacked.

Jolene happily follows him and Pooch out to the garage to carry the tree in. She gives them directions, and it's all far less comical than last year when Jake tried to get the tree in all by himself while the others were out. They set it down in the stand that Clay sets up. Then it's a matter of getting it straight.

“A little to the left,” Jolene says as Jensen pushes and pulls the tree this way and that. “Other left,” she says when he apparently makes it worse.

Pooch and Roque are watching while Clay is on his hands and knees waiting to tie the wires, so the tree doesn't topple. Jake pushes the tree the other way, but Jolene shakes her head. “Too far.”

“Forward a little,” Pooch says, right before Roque tells him to turn it a little to showcase a better angle.

“No no, back the other way, you've made it worse,” Jolene says with a mischievous smile, and Jake narrows his eyes as he turns it back.

“Keep going,” Pooch says as Jake walks around, turning the tree. “Keep going. Gotta see what side looks best,” he says when Jake is halfway around the tree. “Wait, wait! Back three steps,” he orders.

Jake glares as he takes three steps back.

“To the right.”

“Forward just a hair.”

“Too much, take it back.”

“Not that far!”

Jake finally narrows his eyes and lets go of the tree from where he stands behind it, so none of them see him let it go.

“No forw—ah,” Pooch shrieks as the tree falls on him and Clay.

“Oops, my hand slipped,” Jake says, standing there with his hands in his pockets. _No one_ beats Jake at his own games. “Is that forward enough, Pooch?” he asks innocently, stepping out from behind the tree and grabbing a box of ornaments. Jolene is giggling as Pooch and Clay awkwardly crawl out from under the tree then start to put it back into place.

It actually fits perfectly in the room once they get it standing. Jake smiles as he hands out boxes of ornaments to everyone. He gives Clay the box of toy soldiers he spent hours drilling holes through, so he could attached a string to make them into ornaments. Pooch gets one of the boxes of spent ammo garlands he strung together. Roque gets the bigger shell casing ornaments. Jensen takes out the strings of lights, and he and Jolene set about stringing them up while the guys just look at their boxes.

They told Jake last year that if they ever let him have another Christmas tree, it would not under any circumstances be covered in eye assaulting Petunias and comic book memorabilia. So Jake, being the crafty individual that he is, spent months making this year's ornaments suitably macho for his housemates.

“So what do you think, guys?” he asks as they study their ornaments skeptically.

“Who puts bullet casings on a Christmas tree?” Pooch asks, then looks over at Clay, who's holding up a tiny green soldier with a hole drilled through it's head for the string.

Jake smiles brightly. “The Losers do. Pretty awesome huh? Wait till you see the star I got us,” Jake says, and they all look a little wary. Jolene looks so amused, and Jake knew there was a reason he liked her. “Well, come on. These things aren't going to hang themselves,” he says, plucking a soldier out of Clay's box and hanging it on the closest branch.

Reluctantly, they all begin to hang the morbid homemade ornaments. Eventually, they start to laugh about how ridiculous the tree looks covered in brass and tiny army men. Jensen puts on music while they work, and Jolene brings out cookies and eggnog.

By the time the tree is covered in spent ammunition and toy soldiers, they're laughing and sharing stories about Christmases growing up or with other units. Jensen has a very large cup of eggnog as he stands in front of the tree regaling them of Christmas with his first spec ops team.

“So, they were a bunch of hard asses who wouldn't know holiday spirit if it snuck up and bit them in the ass. So, me and this other guy, Barry, who was an intelligence analyst took it upon ourselves to show them the reason for the season an' all. Barry was Jewish, and man was he sick of their bullshit jibes, so we used funds I found lying around to buy the gaudiest, biggest menorah we could find and a fake tree. We set them up in the barracks then rigged this crazy light show to come on every time someone flipped on the lights, accompanied by a mash up of our favorite Chanukah and Christmas songs. Oh were they mad, but none of them had the ability to fix how I wired in the music, so for three weeks we did everything in the dark except for when someone would accidentally flip the switch. I never met a group of guys so happy to get an assignment on Christmas,” Jake says, proud of his accomplishments.

Jolene starts to tell them about her family growing up, and Jake is so enthralled by her happy childhood memories that he doesn't hear Cougar enter the room until he gently runs his fingers down Jake's back. No one does, until Jake nearly jumps three feet in the air, spilling eggnog as he goes.

“Christ, Cougs,” Jake squeaks as he spins to look at Cougar.

“Lo siento,” Cougar apologizes with a soft smile, leaning in to kiss Jensen right there in front of everyone. Jake's circuits go a little haywire as he kisses Cougar back, still holding his dripping mug in one hand, but the other going to grasp Cougar's sweater. Cougar doesn't pull away immediately, letting the kiss linger for several seconds, while everyone has fallen silent except for the music playing softly.

When Cougar finally does pull back, he's still watching Jensen with a fond expression. Jake almost instantly notices that Cougar is wearing one of his sweaters which he is practically swimming in, since evidently Jensen has watermelons for biceps.

“Wasn't expecting you to join us,” Jensen says softly, not accusatory, maybe a little worried that they'd disturbed him with their fun.

“I brought ornaments,” Cougar says almost sheepishly, but when he looks at the tree he frowns a little. “But I don't think they will go with the theme,” he finishes, still looking at the tree.

Jake looks down at the beat up box that Cougar is holding. It's filled with colorful ornaments. Jensen notes several tin and ceramic ornaments. They're beautiful, and the way that Carlos is reverently holding the box the same way he holds his rifle case, makes Jensen know they're important.

“Of course they will,” Jensen insists pulling a painted ceramic ball out of the box. “These are beautiful,” he says, and Cougar nods his head in thanks.

“They were my mother's. My sisters kept most of them, but they sent me a box when she died,” he explains.

“There's plenty of room for them, Carlos,” Jolene says as she comes over too look in the box. “Oh, they're gorgeous. Did she make some of these?” she asks lifting a very delicate looking ornament from the box.

“Sí, she and mi abuela,” Cougar confirms.

“Well, they definitely deserve to be showcased,” Jolene smiles, taking the box out of Cougar's hands and bringing it over to the tree. Cougar, to everyone's astonishment, lets her have the box without protest, but he and Jake follow her. Jake hands him the ornament he holds with a smile.

“You get to do the honors,” he says, and Cougar looks at him with such blinding adoration that Jensen feels like he can't catch his breath. When Carlos hands the ornament back without a word, but a slight nod to the tree, Jake is valiantly fighting back every wild emotion he's feeling. “Oh, um, or I can,” he mumbles as he holds the ornament with great care and finds a perfect spot for it.

He looks at Cougar with a hopeful smile as he hangs it from the branch, and Cougar nods.

“Ugh, this is painful to watch. Just do it already, Jensen. We know you want to,” Roque groans, breaking the spell Jake is under, and he feels his ears heat.

Clay punches Roque in the ribs and glares, and it gives Jake the courage to step forward and pull Cougar into a passionate kiss, which Cougar doesn't shy away from. He lovingly returns it, cupping Jensen's face, ignoring Pooch's whistle. Cougar's arm shoots out to catch the pillow Roque throws at them after nearly thirty seconds of kissing.

“That's enough,” he ribs, but Jake just flips him off.

“It's sweet,” Jolene shushes him as she hangs several of the traditional ornaments around the tree.

When Jake finally pulls away, he still feels like he can't catch his breath. Cougar included him in his own traditions and didn't just indulge the ones Jake came up with. He came downstairs after some of the worst nightmares he's had in months, and brought a part of himself that none of them knew with him. Jensen doesn't want to pull away, but Cougar gives him a gentle push toward the box Jolene is still pulling ornaments out of.

“Yeah, okay, we can do that first,” Jake breathes, turning and pulling an ornament for each of them out. Cougar reaches up to place the delicate tin ornament high on the tree, and Jake can't take his eyes off of him as he does it.

“This is sickeningly sweet,” Roque says as he pours Jake's cup of eggnog, which he abandoned to the coffee table, into his own mug.

“Shut up, Roque,” Clay, Jolene, and Pooch all chorus. Jake and Cougar ignore them as they add the rest of the ornaments to the tree, and when they finish, the tree is just as brightly colored as last year's, but no one dares comment on it.

“It's a good tree,” Jensen says as he takes a seat on the empty loveseat. Cougar joins him, perching comfortably on the cushioned armrest.

“It is,” Jolene agrees, wrapped in Pooch's arms where they are curled together on the carpet.

Cougar slips his hand into Jake's and squeezes it gently, letting Jake know that he agrees, and he appreciates that Jake incorporated his ornaments. “You think your mom would approve?” Jake asks looking up into Carlos' warm eyes.

“Sí.”

 


	13. Santa Claus is Coming

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Losers bring some holiday cheer to the local hospital.

Cougar sits in Jake's bed reading a novel. Jake's insisted that they share a room for now, and Cougar doesn't really have a reason to protest, so he makes himself at home in the covers, reading silently.

“Cougs, I need your help,” Jake comes in, wrapped in nothing more than a towel. Cougar doesn't even look up from the page he's on. It isn't unusual for Jake to barge in mostly or completely naked, requiring some form of assistance. So, Cougar just tips his head slightly to indicate that he's listening, but continues reading as well.

“Okay, so as you know, it's the annual Christmas party at the children's hospital,” Jake doesn't wait for conformation before continuing. “Last year, I rented that reindeer costume which went over pretty well if I do say so myself, but I can't do that again. They have our picture hanging in the ward. They'll know.”

Cougar follows Jake's logic, and for that he's sorry, but he nods anyway. “Elf,” he says as he thumbs to the next page.

“An elf? Are you crazy, Cougar? I am not wearing green tights and slippers with bells attached to them. I have pride,” Jake insists, and Cougar looks up to raise an eyebrow at Jake. “I didn't say I have a lot of pride, but I have some.” Cougar doesn't lower his eyebrow, in fact, it goes just a little higher.

“Okay, fine, but I don't wanna be an elf. Those tights ride up, and then I've got to discretely adjust my balls, and that is not the sort of thing you want to have to do around a bunch of sick kids,” Jake reasons, and Cougar can't really argue with that.

“Santa.”

“Did you say Santa? Blasphemy! I can't be the big guy. I-I...do you know the responsibility that comes with wearing the Santa suit? Do you have any idea how—”

“Jacob, you are a special forces soldier. You discreetly send Christmas gifts to the less fortunate, and you set up this Christmas party at the hospital every year. I think you can handle the responsibility of being Santa for one afternoon,” Cougar says still focusing his energy on his book.

“But—”

Cougar shakes his head, and Jake stops talking and flops on the bed with Cougar. Stray droplets of water find their way onto his book. Cougar wipes them away and puts the book down on the side table.

“I don't know how to be Santa, Cougs,” Jake says nervously. Cougar sighs and pulls Jake over him so he can rest his head on Cougar's chest.

“It is not so different than what you usually do,” Cougar says running his fingers through Jake's damp hair. Jake wraps his arms around Cougar's torso and nuzzles into his chest.

“How so?”

“You are a positive person. Children bring you joy, and you go out of your way to make them happy. You take pride in helping and making others happy,” Cougar lists.

“Huh, I really do all that?” Jakes asks, lacing his fingers with Carlos' free hand.

“Sí.”

“I don't know, Cougs. What if they know I'm a fraud?”

“Not a fraud.”

“Really? Because this carefully honed body isn't very jolly, and this goatee isn't exactly bushy and white,” Jake protests, and Cougar shakes his head.

“You will be a good Santa Claus,” Cougar says, and he can feel Jake relax against his body.

“I'm trusting you, Coug, but only because you've never lied to me before,” Jake says before sitting up and getting off the bed. Cougar shakes his head and picks up his book again, but he spares a few glances to watch Jake dress himself in jean's and a cardigan.

\---

The Losers arrive on the children's ward of the local hospital at a quarter to one, like they do every year. Jensen is dressed in a very nice Santa suit, and he turns to Cougar before they step off the elevator. “Last check. How's my stuffing? And the beard?” Jake asks.

Cougar nods. Jake looks a little queasy, but Cougar squeezes his wrist before stepping off of the elevator.

The nurses recognize them immediately as the walk up to the nurses station. “Frank, it's so good to see you boys back again. The kids are very excited to see you,” one of the older nurses says with a warm smile. “I see you brought Santa himself this year,” he says, looking Jake up and down. Her smile clearly puts Jensen at ease.

“Yes ma'am. They ready for us?” Clay asks, adjusting the bag of gifts in his arms. Each of the them carry a bag of gifts for the kids.

“They certainly are,” she says and waves one of the younger nurses forward. “Amy, you want to show the boys around?”

The woman nods, waving them along. They start with the children that can't get out of their beds. They split up, Cougar and Pooch taking one room while Roque and Clay take another. Jake bounces between them, visiting each of the children.

He goes with Cougar and Pooch into the first room, and a tiny little girl sits in the bed with her parents sitting with her. She's so tiny and pale, but she lights up when she sees Jake lingering in the doorway.

“Santa!” she cries, sitting up a little straighter.

“Hello there, angel,” Jake says in his best Santa voice. Cougar's pressed to his side, his hand discreetly rubbing Jake's back to comfort him, but as soon as it's clear that the little girl is thrilled to see him, Jake slips right into the role. “My list says you've been a very good girl this year,” Jake says as he steps into the room and quickly takes the seat that the girl's father offers him. He leans in and talks to the girl all about how her reading is coming along, and how she's been trying her best in physical therapy.

Pooch steps out with the mother when she starts to tear up. Cougar stays waiting for Jake to beckon him which he does eventually.

“This here is one of my helpers,” Jake says as Cougar steps forward. “I think he's got something for you in his bag, don't you?” he asks smiling up at Carlos. Cougar makes a show of digging around in the bag, before he pulls out a neatly wrapped box.

The little girl, Sammy, cheers excitedly as Cougar hands her the box carefully. Her father takes several pictures with his phone while she happily tears into the wrapping paper and lifts the lid off the box. “Daddy look!” she says as she pulls out a very plush stuffed bear. “He's perfect, thanks Santa,” she says as she hugs the teddy bear tightly to her chest.

The girl's parents thank them profusely as they eventually excuse themselves to head to the next room. Jensen is practically buzzing as he hurries to the room that Roque and Clay are in, talking to a pair of little boys. “Merry Christmas!” Jake exclaims as he marches in. Cougar and Pooch smile to each other as they follow Amy to their next room.

Jake is amazing with the children. The rest of them are good with them too, but Cougar watches in awe as Jake's boundless enthusiasm charms even the toughest kids. Jake never breaks character and when one small boy is too worn out to open his gift, Jake happily reaches over and helps him along without making the kid feel weak. “Sometimes these things can be tricky, you know. My helpers are professional gift wrappers, and sometimes they get carried away,” Jake says as he tears away the last of the paper.

The boy's smile is genuine when he pulls the lid off the box to find an action figure and accompanying comic books. They leave the kid dozing with his hands protectively covering his new gifts.

They make their way around the floor to those that can't leave their beds, then they gather in a meeting room with all the kids who can. Jake takes a seat in one of the folding chairs and lets anyone who wants to come up and get a picture with him. Almost every child takes a turn, some of them shyly letting Cougar or one of the others lead them up to Jake.

Even some of the nurses and parents take a turn, and Jake asks them just as seriously if they've been a good boy or girl this year, and the kids laugh when Jake gives some of the adults skeptical looks. They spend the afternoon playing games with the children and talking with them and their families.

Cougar dances with several of the children as Christmas carols play, and he even lets one little girl wear his hat. Clay and Roque play board games and cards with several of the kids, never giving over a win, but losing nonetheless because the kids have had quite a bit of time to hone their board game skills. Pooch helps Jake with pictures and plays with several of the boys and girls, graciously accepting a doll or action figure, so he can play along too.

They're all in a fantastic mood as they wish everyone a merry Christmas and head back to the Jeep. Jensen is actually bouncing as they walk across the parking garage. “Did you see that, guys? That was awesome. How about the little girl with the crush on Cougs? Man, I mean I don't blame her at all, but did you see how she blushed when she asked for a hug goodbye? My heart almost melted right out onto the floor. Or that boy who really wanted the doll but was too shy to ask, so little Danielle traded with him?” he asks, tugging on Cougar's arm.

No one tells him to shut up or mentions that they were all right there as well. The mood is too good, and they all pile into the car full of smiles and favorite moments to share with each other.


	14. The December Mission

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> December missions are the worst.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter got really out of hand and turned into 4k+ words when I decided it needed to be cut in half. So, the continuation of this bit will be tomorrow, but don't worry there aren't any painful cliffhangers.
> 
> Some violence in this chapter.

December ops are the worst, theoretically they could last a couple days, but you never know if they'll last three months, and sometimes you've barely got enough time to put your presents in the mail, so at least your family gets something. This is one of those rushed missions. Some other team needs extraction because their mission went ass backwards in a hurry, and now the Losers are shipping out with minimal intelligence and a plan that sounds half baked at best.

Honestly, these guys were probably on Santa's naughty list, so shit went sideways. Jensen starts to suspect that they too are on Santa's naughty list when things go bad from the start. First of all, it's summer in South America, or at least it's as hot and gooey as Satan's nutsack in the Colombian rainforest.

Jensen is regretting his career choices as soon as he steps off the helicopter in full gear. It's got to be close to 90 degrees and rising, and Jensen was making snow angels not 72 hours earlier. “Cougs, I think I might melt,” Jensen groans as they get ready to head off from the drop point. “Make sure you collect all my gooey bits in a ziplock, so you can resurrect me later when winter comes again.”

Cougar just gives Jake a smile that definitely says something along the lines of _this is what you get for forcing me to leave the house during a snow storm_. Jake narrows his eyes which only makes Cougar grin wider. That's really the highlight of the whole mess.

“Jensen shut up and focus. This is an in and out job. Get in, locate friendlies, get them out, and get home. Cougar, find high ground and give us some cover. Let's assume they know we're coming, so we're going to need you to watch our backs,” Clay says as they start to head in the direction that Jake points them. They've got nearly ten klicks to travel through the rainforest to get to the compound that the team disappeared around.

It gets a bit hinky after that. It is definitely clear that they're expected guests of the drug smugglers. They take out three scouting groups within the first five klicks, and they are forced to split up to avoid detection. Clay and Roque split off, heading north to circle around the compound. Jake and Pooch continue on, and Cougar heads off to find a place with a good vantage point.

“I don't like this,” Jake mutters over the comms as they continue on. Pooch just gives him a shrug because there isn't anything that they can do about it.

It's about a klick outside of the compound that things start going really wrong. Jake and Pooch get pinned down by a group of mercenaries guarding the compound. It takes longer than they'd like to take them out, and as soon as they're spotted the whole compound is on alert. It's a cluster fuck if Jensen's ever seen one, and he's starting to think that these cartels are a little smarter than the military gives them credit for or maybe they just spend more money on firepower than expected.

“Jensen, Pooch report,” Clay calls them over the comms.

“Still kickin' boss, but this mission officially sucks,” Jensen replies.

“Cougar, what's your status?” Clay asks next, ignoring Jensen's comments.

There is silence over the comms. Jake feels a tickle at the back of his neck, and his heart rate increases if that's even possible after making a mad dash for cover from these crazies.

“Cougar, report,” Clay tries again, but there is still no response.

“Jensen, his comms were functional when we stepped off the transport?” Clay asks.

“All communications were operational, yes,” Jake responds, trying his best to keep how frantic he's feeling out of his voice.

“Alright, we need to do this now before they pinpoint us, and it's all over,” Clay says, not sounding happy about the decision at all.

“We can't just—”

“This isn't your call, Jensen. Follow your orders,” Clay barks, and Pooch gives Jensen a sympathetic look. Jensen can feel his stomach around his toes, but at the same time, he feels like he's going to lose the Christmas cookies he had for breakfast.

They go in guns blazing, laying waste to anything in their way. It's bloody and no less messy than the rest of the mission. Jensen can't honestly remember most of the details. He's just in a blind rage, shooting anything that moves and doesn't look like part of his team.

He gets pinned down on the east side of the compound. It's a stupid mistake, and he knows he's going to pay for it. He tries to raise Cougar over comms one last time as he dives behind a stack of pallets. “Cougs, if you're out there, I could really use a little help right now, buddy. Hell, if you're out there, just let me know. I can go out blazing if I know you're okay,” Jake says as he takes stock of his weapons. A bullet ricochets through the pallet and exits just above Jake's head, and he knows it isn't going to be long.

“Jake, we're coming to you. Hold on just another minute,” Clay orders. Jake isn't actively seeking death, but it's about seven to one, and he's low on ammo.

“Colonel, I'm really sorry all I got you for Christmas is a bottle of Scotch. It isn't even the really nice kind you like. I just transferred the labels, so it looks like it is,” Jensen confesses as he breaks cover just long enough to release a spray of bullets.

“Jensen, shut up and do your job,” Clay barks, but he sounds strained. They aren't coming for him as fast as they want to. Jake takes a deep breath and prepares for one last stand, but before he can do something completely suicidal, he hears a shot ring out then another.

“Sniper!”

“Sniper!”

The guards start shouting as another man goes down. Jake feels even closer to vomiting as shot after shot pierces the air until Jake is sitting crouched behind his cover alone. He peeks over to find seven dead men with nothing to cover them. He quickly starts to move on, but he notices that the shots are messy. Several are still alive, and Jensen quickly kills them before they can do further damage.

“You hurt, Cougs?” Jake asks, but there is still no answer. “Guess you're comm-less,” Jake says. His brain supplies comm-less Cougar, but he doesn't have the balls to say it out loud just in case Cougar can actually hear him. Instead, he cleans up the straggling guards as he moves. Clay, Roque, and Pooch meet him around the north side.

“How'd you get out?” Clay asks.

“Cougs, but he ain't sayin' anything. Don't know if he can hear us but we can't hear him, or if he's just flying blind,” Jake explains. Clay nods, but he still doesn't look happy.

“Cougar, if you can hear us, meet us at the extraction point,” he says, and they're still met with silence.

When they find their targets, they are in thankfully good condition and can walk out by their own power. Cougar's still unresponsive though, and they're forced to hope he meets them for extraction. Jake protests loudly, but he's met with the firm disapproval of both Clay and the CO of the other team. Jake takes up the rear, because he can't look at any of them without getting angry, and Pooch sending him sympathetic looks actually isn't helping at all, and he'll feel bad if he snaps at Pooch.

Cougar meets them close to the extraction point. He almost doesn't, but Jake hears a familiar Spanish curse as he steps over a particularly tricky root.

“Cougs?” he calls into the brush, and Pooch, Clay, and Roque freeze. The other six men try to keep going, but they can't get past Roque's imposing form.

“Colonel, we need to keep moving,” their CO says, but Clay ignores him.

“Cougs?” Jake tries again, moving toward the voice he heard.

“This is probably a trap,” the man argues.

“We don't leave our men behind,” Clay growls, as Jake pushes into the underbrush.

Jake hears him again. His voice is strained, but it's undoubtedly Cougar's. Cougar meets Jake about forty feet off the trail, and it's not pretty. He's covered in blood. Jake can easily see a nasty shoulder wound, but he isn't sure that's all there is. He's heavily favoring his right leg, and Jake is pretty sure he sees a goose egg where Cougar's hat is supposed to be.

“Fuck,” Jake curses as he bounds over to Cougar and tries to help support him without further injuring him. “Boss, I've got Cougs. It's not pretty, but he's still standing. Might need some help getting him out of here,” Jake reports.

“What happened?” Jake asks as he takes as much of Cougar's weight as the other man will let him.

“Ambush,” his voice is raw and barely audible. Jake's amazed he had heard him at all before, and he feels a chill down his spine at the knowledge that if he hadn't, Cougar probably would not have made the extraction point in time.

“How bad?” Jake asks, wishing he could stop and catalog Cougar's injuries.

“They shot me out of my perch,” Cougar says, and Jake knows that must be hard for him to admit. “They assumed I was dead when I fell.”

“What's the damage?”

“Gunshot wound to the shoulder. Through and through. Missed arteries, but hit the bone. Concussion from the fall. Possible broken ribs from the fall. Leg injury,” Cougar lists clinically.

“Okay,” Jake says. It's not okay. This whole fucked mission is not okay, but they'll be home soon with medical attention, and Cougar will be fine if he doesn't bleed to death before they get to the extraction point, and Jake can feel the tunnel vision setting in. His entire focus is getting Cougar home alive.

“Jake,” Cougar whispers into his ear. “Breathe for me,” he orders softly, and it snaps Jake out of his own head. Jake measures his breaths as they join the others, and Pooch drops back to help them, though there isn't much he can do since Cougar's shoulder in a mess. He carries what gear of theirs he can.

The flight out is tense. Cougar passes out almost as soon as they are in the air, and Clay and Jake are left trying to stop the bleeding and splint his arm and leg. Neither of them are the best medics, and the fact that Cougar makes it back to friendly soil alive is more on his stubbornness than on Jake's medical skills.

Jake does vomit as soon as they wheel Cougar's unconscious body away from him at the landing strip. He braces his hands against his knees and just retches all over the asphalt. The soldiers they rescued make quiet comments about Jake still being wet behind the ears, and Roque nearly takes their heads off for it. Pooch rubs Jake's back telling him it will be alright.

Debrief is the longest of Jake's life. It's actually one of the shortest, but he feels like he's there being grilled for a month. Cougar isn't even out of surgery yet by the time he's finished, and that only adds to his worry. The team camps out in the waiting room, ignoring their own stink and needs until they hear word on Cougar.

One of the nurses offers to let them rest in an empty office, but none of them can sleep right now. Jake is silent. He can tell that it's putting the others on edge, but he can't say anything that isn't a rant of classified information. He wants to scream at Clay for sending Cougar off without a spotter, but it isn't Clay's fault that their team is what it is. He wants to hate the other team for getting captured in the first place, but logically he knows it could have just as easily happened to them.

So, Jensen keeps it all inside, brewing into a worried rage. Pooch flinches when Jake actually tears down one of the Christmas decorations in the waiting room after accusing it of taunting him. He'll admit, he could have been a little less deranged right then.

The doctor approaches them warily when he comes out of surgery. Roque actually holds Jake back so that Clay can talk to the man without anyone screaming and demanding answers. Jake's insulted that they think he'd do that. He's also a little ashamed that that's exactly what he was going to do.

The team doesn't even discuss that Jake's going to be the first one that gets to see Cougar as soon as they get him into the ICU. The doctors don't expect him to wake up any time soon, but Jake's going to be there when he does.

Pooch actually goes in with Jake, and while the nurse protests, Clay assures her that it's just to get Jake settled. Jake knows that he's not taking this well. He's not taking it like a soldier who's friend was injured. This is most definitely getting categorized as my boyfriend almost died, and I'm losing my shit. Jake just can't get himself to care. Clay will make sure no one notices. Clay's good at that. He's bad at paperwork, but the man could scare a grizzly bear into silence.

He's grateful for Pooch's arm to cling to when he sees Cougar lying there. At least he's breathing on his own. Jake thinks that's definitely a plus. The big white bandages where Cougar's hat's supposed to go is a little off putting, but they've all had concussions before.

“How bad is the shoulder?” Jake asks as he moves to sit in the seat beside the bed. It's on Cougar's “good” side, so Jake immediately reaches for his fingers. He doesn't grab his hand, but runs his own fingers over it, careful of the IV.

“The bullet went through the bone before exiting through his back. The damage is not as bad as it could have been, but only time will tell how much the injury will affect him and whether he will have full mobility of the arm,” she tells him softly. Pooch squeezes his shoulder, but Jensen doesn't pay attention.

“And the leg?”

“Fractured tibia from the fall. Nothing serious. We set it, and he'll have to keep weight off of it, but there won't be lasting damage,” she assures him. “He also has two cracked ribs which will be sore for a while, but his records say he's experienced those before, so he should know how to deal with them.”

“Okay,” Jake breathes, never taking his eyes off Cougar.

“Sir, your CO has arranged that you can stay here, but Sergeant Alvarez is going to need rest, so when he wakes up, you can't excite him,” she warns, though her voice is more soothing than reprimanding.

Jake laughs a little at that and actually smiles up at her. “Nothing excites Cougs that he doesn't want to be excited by. He's unflappable. He once sat through an entire reenactment of _Star Wars: A New Hope_ without even twitching, and I do some pretty awesome Princess Leia impressions,” Jake rambles, and the nurse smiles at him.

“Still, don't wear him out. He needs all his energy to recover.” Jake gives her a salute, and she shakes her head at him. As soon as she and Pooch are gone, he's out of his seat and studying Cougar.

“Don't do that to me again, Cougs. God, I thought that was it. They fuckin' shot you right out of a tree. Oh god, I need to call your sister. She's going to skin me. My sister's going to skin me. What am I going to tell Beth? Fuuuck,” he whispers, clutching the railing of the bed, because he doesn't actually know where he can touch Cougar without hurting him more. He's covered in scratches from the fall, and some other them look pretty nasty.

Jake rambles in whispers until his mouth goes dry. He isn't sure how much time passes before Cougar reaches up and grasps one of Jake's hands still holding the rail in a death grip.

“Calm,” Cougar says as Jake's mouth falls open.

“Oh god, you're really awake,” Jake says dumbly.

Cougar smirks at him and pats his hand. “Had worse,” Cougar notes, but Jake suspects he's high on painkillers, because broken ribs and shattered shoulders are pretty fuckin' painful even for crazy people like Cougar.

“Don't fucking scare me like that again.”

“Did not mean to,” Cougar tells him.

“Yeah, well just don't. You _know_ how shitty I am at field medicine. And Clay isn't McDreamy or anything.”

“Jake?”

“Yeah?”

“I am sorry for worrying you,” Cougar apologizes, and Jake feels like an ass.

“Don't apologize. I'm an idiot. Just get better. _Please get better_ ,” Jake pleads, wrapping Cougar's hand in both of his own.

Cougar nods at him with a small smile, and Jake tries to hide the tears in his eyes. Cougar squeezes his hands to get his attention, and he lifts his hand to wipe at Jake's cheeks. “I promise,” he says, and that really doesn't help to stop Jake's tears, but it's really nice to hear.

 


	15. Family Reunions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Carlos' sister comes to visit him while he recovers.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the continuation of yesterday's fic.

Jensen meets Carlos' eldest sister less than two weeks before Christmas. He always imagined that meeting Cougar's family might be a little tense, but it would be a happy affair with all his loved ones. It's not.

Jake doesn't leave Cougar's side until they move him out of the ICU, and then it's only because he absolutely stinks, and he's been up so long that his ramblings sound bizarre even to his own ears. Pooch drives him back to the house and stays with him while he gets cleaned up. Jake doesn't really remember the call to Cougar's oldest sister, but he isn't entirely surprised when a taxi leaves her at their doorstep.

Thankfully, Pooch is coherent enough to offer her some coffee while he explains how Cougar's recovering. She takes one look at Jake as he stumbles blearily into the kitchen and pulls him into her arms. Her hugs are almost as good as Erin's. It must be a big sister thing, but he finds himself clinging to her like she's his only salvation.

Jake's never met her before, and he isn't even sure if Cougar's mentioned their relationship to her, but she holds him like they're family anyway. If Jake were anyone else, he'd be embarrassed for crying on a stranger's shoulder over _her_ brother, but Maria and Pooch don't seem to care.

“I brought him home, I promise I made sure he got home,” Jake rambles as Maria rubs his back gently.

“I know,” she assures him. She doesn't pull away until he's all tuckered out and flopping into the seat next to her. She forces him to eat something other than cookies and fusses around the kitchen, throwing together what meager ingredients they left in the fridge when they left. It's delicious, and Jake doesn't realize just how hungry he is until she sets it in front of him and orders him to eat.

“Carlito will be furious if you do not take care of yourself while he is recovering,” she says as he shovels the concoction of rice and beans into his mouth—two things that never go bad and all of them can manage not to fuck up when left to cook them.

Maria can't be much older than Carlos, but she has a wise air about her. Jake assumes that comes with having four rambunctious kids running around. Jake's sister only has one child, and she uses serious mom voice on him when he's being a pest. He only assumes that Maria has four times the super powers in her mom voice...or maybe it's exponential. Jake definitely doesn't stand a chance if that's the case.

Carlos' sister is very thin, and she barely comes up to Jensen's chest. She definitely looks like she's related to Cougar. She has the same quiet but proud air when she walks, and Jake can't help but love her.

When she sees the Christmas tree covered in her mother's decorations she gives him a watery smile.

“I'm so glad that Carlito didn't throw them away. He always loved Christmas with our mother and grandmother. They doted on him as the only boy, but he loved it so much. He'd spend hours in the kitchen with our grandmother baking for the holidays, or decorating with our mother. He was such a loving child. He must have taken our mother's death very hard. I wish he'd not chosen to bear it alone,” she says as they head out to Pooch's vehicle.

Jake doesn't really know what to say, because Cougar hadn't even told them about his mother's passing until months after he found out, which was over a month after her death because they were out of the country at the time.

\---

Cougar is confused when Maria walks into his room and places a soft kiss on his bandaged forehead. Jake hangs back nervously because he hadn't gotten Cougar's permission to call her. Cougar doesn't glare at him or reprimand him though. He smiles softly at his sister as she fusses with his blankets. “Honestly Carlito, you look like a wild man. Would it hurt you to cut your hair once in a while? And this fuzz. What is this?” she asks, tugging gently on his goatee.

“We match,” he says tugging at her decidedly un-bearded chin, and she laughs as she swats his good hand away.  It is very much the behavior of a younger brother, and it's strange and endearing to see Cougar behave like a bit of a brat, though Jake has a feeling it might have to do with the pain medication.

“If I had a beard it would be completely gray because you worry me so. Look at this, you are worse than my children,” she says in exasperation as she pulls his chart off of the foot of his bed. “One hundred and seventy pounds? Carlito, do you even eat?” she asks.

Carlos actually blushes, and Jensen swears his finger twitches and that's how a picture of a very pink Cougar makes its way into his phone. “He just has a high metabolism,” Jensen adds, feeling a little guilty over the picture which is already his background.

Cougar gives him a pointed look, and Maria just scoffs. “Look at that one. He eats, and I'm sure he does that same exercises you do. Is this why you don't come home? Are you afraid we will feed you real food? How are you supposed to kill bad men if you are wasting away?” Jake tries to fight his own blush at just how right she is about their shared activities.

“ _Maria_ ,” Cougar says, but she's undeterred. She pulls a granola bar out of her purse and watches him pointedly until her eats it. Jensen tries not to laugh, but a couple chuckles break through and are met by Cougar's glare. It's fantastic to watch the scariest man Jake knows getting chewed out by his tiny sister.

When the nurse comes in to change his bandages and Maria doesn't even pretend to give him privacy. Cougar doesn't look like he cares either way. It's only his shoulder that needs redressing.

However, Maria gets an eyeful of his tattoo, and Jake is almost certain she's going to explode. Once the nurse leaves again, she tugs at Cougar's gown until she can see it peeking out from between his two sets of bandages. Cougar doesn't seem self conscious at all as she pretty much strips him to the waist.

“Is this for mamá?” she asks, tracing the ink with her finger. She sounds reverent instead of angry, and Jake pauses to study the tattoo he knows well.

“For family,” he says softly.

“Oh Carlos, I wish you would not keep this exile from us,” she whispers, her delicate hand resting over his heart. He lifts his own hand to hold hers.

“I cannot bring my troubles home.”

“Then where can you bring them? You shouldn't be alone, especially not at this time of year,” she insists. Jake is pretty sure he's never felt so honored or terrified as when Cougar turns his head and looks at him. She turns to look at him too, and Jake doesn't flinch, but his body wants to. However, her gaze isn't hostile or judgmental. She just looks at him, that stranger she held while he bawled like a baby, who her brother finds his strength in.

“I am happy for you, Carlito, but do not forsake your family. You did not lose the rest of us when you lost mother. If you do not wish to stay with me or Ana, stay at a hotel. Bring Jake if you wish, but please come,” she pleads.

“Maybe for New Years,” Jake suggests. “Maybe you'll be mobile enough to fly...by...then.” Maria gives him a grateful smile, while Cougar looks annoyed with him. Jake takes a step back. “I'm gonna go steal a couple jello cups, so, um, I'll leave you guys to it,” he says, fleeing before he can stick his foot further into his mouth.

When Jake gets back with three cups of jello he pilfered from the very nice nurse in the kitchenette, Cougar is asleep, and Maria is sitting on the edge of his bed running her fingers through the tufts of hair that stick out of the bandage on his head.

“They got him dosed up, or he just cat napping?” Jake asks as he hands her a green jello cup.

“The nurse gave him something, and he was out in a couple minutes,” she tells him.

Jake nods. “He's not big on sleep. They had to knock him out last night too. It's better than if he sleeps on his own though,” he says, and he knows she's giving him a look, but he can't really say more than that. He started staying in the infirmary with Cougar while he was hurt long before they were anything but tentative friends. Cougar almost took out one of the night nurses when she woke him to take his blood pressure, back when Jake was still new to the team. Jake had been assigned to his room after that to make sure nothing else happened. He's kept doing it ever since, but thankfully Cougar isn't one to get injured very often.

\---

Maria can only stay four days, but in that time she insists on cooking for the team since they decide that she's staying in Cougar's room, which is mostly empty since he's been staying with Jake. The infirmary releases Cougar as soon as they are certain that his injuries are stable and not life threatening. So, the Losers and Maria collect Cougar on her second day there and carefully bring him back to the house. He keeps to Jensen's bed, sleeping and reading on and off all day.

He lets Jake and Maria fuss over him, but he kicks them out so he can sleep when their endless worry exhausts him. Jake ends up spending a lot of time with Maria while Cougar sleeps.

She happily teaches him how to make a few of Cougar's favorite holiday dishes. Jake's first few tries are pretty awful, but she's a patient teacher and by the time she has to leave, his versions are at least edible.

She also spends her evenings with him telling him all sorts of stories about Carlos growing up. Pooch likes to join in on that time too. They sit around the tree sipping champurrado that Maria makes for them. Jensen soaks up as much as he can from Cougar's sister, and she seems equally interested in learning about him and the rest of the team.

Maria is much more talkative than Cougar, and while her English is still slightly accented, she reverts to Spanish far less than the sniper does. When Jensen mentions it, she laughs brightly. “He's always done that. I'm not sure he even notices he does it sometimes. I guess growing up constantly hearing and speaking both, we treat them as one sometimes.”

They talk until it gets late, and they're all pleasantly warm from their drinks. “I think I will go to bed now,” she tells them. Jake should be heading up to check on Cougar anyway, but Maria catches his arm as she stands. “See me to my room, Jacob?” she asks, and Jake just nods.

She doesn't say anything until they are at the door to Cougar's old room. “Thank you for calling me, Jake,” she says softly as she stands in front of the door.

“It was the least I could do,” Jake mumbles in reply, rubbing at the back of his neck.

“Jake, I want to talk to you. I understand that Carlito cares for you a great deal,” she says, and suddenly Jake's heart is racing. “But he isn't like you,” she adds, and Jake feels like all of the air is sucked out of the house.

Jake opens his mouth to speak, but for once in his life he doesn't have the words. He just looks down into her earnest eyes, feeling like he's been kicked right in the heart. This is it, either Carlos never told his family that he's equally into dudes, or Maria knows something Jake doesn't, and his good deed in calling her is going to leave his heart in pieces on the floor. So many thoughts race through his mind in what must be only a second, but it feels like his entire existence is being called into question.

“I am not sure how to explain it. Carlito, he protects those he loves so fiercely, but he does not keep any love for himself. Our mother used to cry when he sent letters home. She always used to say her baby was all alone. But then he was assigned to this team, and his letters changed. He talked about friends, but he came home less and less, like he couldn't have family here and with us. When she died, we asked him to come mourn with us, but he suffered here alone.

“I am not naïve, Jake. I understand what my brother does and how it must weigh on him. I also know he must hold it in, and that will weigh on any relationship he has. You let your emotions out. You weep with me as though we are family, but Carlito does not. Maybe he gives you some. I do not doubt he trusts you, but if he shows you some, know that there are a wealth of emotions still brewing underneath. I do not know. Maybe your differences are good. Maybe Carlos...maybe he can be honest with you, but I beg you, please don't hurt him if he cannot. So many take his stoicism for indifference, but it is not,” she says as she reaches up and cups Jake's jaw. “You are good for him. I know this to be true. Our mother would love you very much.”

Jake is dumbstruck. This is not what he expected, and he wants to tell her he understands. He wants to tell her all about the little ways that Carlos has opened up to him since they've met, but before Jake can find the words to say, Cougar's voice breaks the silence.

“Maria, enough,” he says, sounding resigned as he leans heavily against the door frame to Jake's room.

“Shit,” Jake curses as he spins around. “No, you should not be out of bed, mister.” Jake scolds as he walks across the hall. He's met with one of Cougar's stone faced glares. “Don't use that face on me! You're the one that's all smushed on the inside.”

Cougar, just to be difficult, steps away from the frame, standing on his own—though he keeps weight of his cast covered leg. “Need to piss,” he shrugs and swats Jake's hand away as he tries to help him. Cougar hobbles down the hall, sparing his sister a glare. “He is not a child, Maria. You do not need to warn him off.”

“He should know what he's getting himself into, Carlito, and you certainly won't tell him. That's the whole point,” she hisses. It reminds Jake of him and his own sister when he's being hardheaded.

“He _knows.”_ Those two words carry more weight than all of Jake's equipment packed onto his back in the middle of the desert heat. Carlos doesn't stick around to argue further.

“Can I show you something?” Jake asks when Carlos disappears into the bathroom. Maria nods, still frowning at the door Cougar shut more firmly than necessary.

Jake tugs her into her room, and drops down onto his knees and pulls a shoebox out from underneath the bed.

“What's this?” she asks as he roots around the box.

“They're Cougar's prized possessions,” Jake shrugs.

“Then we should not be going through them,” she says adamantly.

“Huh? Oh nah, he doesn't mind if I do. Sometimes, I'm forgetful and he keeps stuff in here for me. Like these,” Jake says, holding up strip of ultrasound pictures from when Erin was pregnant as though it's no big deal. He drops them back in then pulls out a battered scope. “See this? This is his first scope. It got busted when his rifle fell down a ravine. He climbed down and took his scope even though it was broken.” Jake leaves out that Cougar fell part of the way down that ravine too while providing cover for them. Cougar had refused to let go of it even though it was useless.

“Why?”

“I guess because it's his eyes. He can't have our back if it doesn't help him see. I guess it's like if someone saves your kid from drowning. You would feel grateful to them. Anyway, here's what I wanted to show you,” he says as he pulls out a beautiful scarf that's wrapped around something else. Maria reaches forward and tentatively touches the fabric.

“Mamá made this for him,” she says reverently.

“Yeah, he's protective of it. Stopped wearing it after she passed away. I think he's afraid of losing it, so it stays here nestled with all his other goodies.”

“What is in it?” she asks as he carefully unwraps the thin material to reveal a mangled bullet.

“It is the bullet I put in the brain of a man who came very close to killing him,” Cougar says from the doorway. Maria looks up, startled. Then she looks back down at the blunted piece of metal. “I barely had enough time to line up the shot. They had a gun to the back of his head. The sun was in my eyes, and the wind was unpredictable, but—”

“But Coug doesn't miss,” Jake finishes for him with an upbeat smile. “When the whole mess was over he came down and collected it. So, um, I get it? Cougar's not the kind of guy to do flowers and professions of love. He's the type that keeps bullets he kills your enemies with,” Jensen tries to make the moment a little lighter as Carlos hobbles in and wraps his uninjured arm around the scarf.

Maria seems devastated as she looks at the instrument of death cradled inside her mother's scarf. Cougar pulls his hand away to place both objects back in the box. “He should not have burdened you with this,” he says, but she places her hand over his.

“No, I am glad he did. I am so happy you have someone you can share yourself with, Carlito. I am so thankful that I was able to see you have those that care for you, and you care for in return. I just...I worry,” she says, squeezing his hand.

“Jensen?” Carlos says instead of responding to her.

“Yeah, yeah. I'll, uh, leave you two to it. Um, let me know if you need me to get...yeah nope, you're fine. Gotcha,” Jake rambles as he walks backward toward the door, giving Maria a tiny wave as he backs into the door. He turns and retreats, closing the door behind him to give them privacy.

Jake stumbles to his bedroom and sits down at his computer to see if his sister is on Skype. He ends up talking to her for over an hour about his week since they returned. She listens to him ramble and worry without complaint. When he exhausts himself, she tells him all about how Beth got a role in the Christmas pageant at school.

“We're officially on leave because of Cougar's injuries, so I'll definitely be there for it,” he promises when she tells him that Beth really wants him to see her in it.

Erin even holds up the snowflake costume that's still a work-in-progress, but he loves it. He can't wait to see his niece singing off key Christmas carols with her classmates.

Erin signs off when she's sees it's past midnight, and Jensen shuts down his computer and pulls his own box out from under his bed. It's actually the carrying case to an old laptop that he destroyed. He curls up in the covers that smell like Carlos—from how much time he's been in bed since he got out of the hospital—and he opens the box. He pulls out the mold of Beth's tiny hands Erin made him for Beth's first Christmas. He removes the Polaroids of the team he has. They used to give him shit for the camera since he's their tech guy, but it's nice to instantly have a physical picture sometimes.

He falls asleep surrounded by his belongings. Cougar doesn't come back to the room, and Jake only wakes to the alarm for Cougar to take his antibiotics. He puts his things away again and stumbles out the door to find Cougar. He finds him still in Maria's room sleepily laughing about their family. They wave Jensen in as he shakes the bottle of pills as explanation, and he quietly sits with them as Cougar dry swallows the pill.

“Jacob, has Carlos told you about the year he received coal for Christmas?” Maria suddenly asks him. Carlos actually laughs happily at her question, lacing his fingers with Jensen's as Jake curls into Cougar's side.

“Were you a naughty kitty, Cougar?” Jake asks, suddenly awake. Both Cougar and Maria give him the same snort.

“Mamá did not approve of Carlos' girlfriends, or how many he had his junior year of high school. Carlos had been asking for our uncle's old car to fix up since he got his license. The thing was a pile of rust, but he was determined to fix it up and have a ride. He'd been saving up for the parts for months. So, Mamá dropped many hints that he would been getting the car for Christmas. Carlos was so excited, and on Christmas morning, there was a beautifully wrapped box with Carlos' name written in her neatest script. He tore the paper off and opened the box and inside was a large chunk of coal. He laughed. He laughed and told our mother it was a good joke, but where was his gift. She told him that was it, and he kept laughing until he realized she was serious. Then she told him that men who do not respect women get coal for Christmas instead of cars,” she says, still laughing.

“Ouch.”

Cougar shrugs his good shoulder. “I remember her lesson more than the car. I totaled it almost as soon as I fixed it up.”

“So you did get it.”

“A year later, after I proved I had learned my lesson. I joined the army not long after I destroyed it,” Cougar explains, lazily running his fingers through Jake's hair.

“Tell me more stories of Carlito's wild youth,” Jake says, and he gets a thump on the head for using the nickname. He grins as he looks up at Carlos. “If you don't respect me, you'll get coal for Christmas,” he says fluttering his eyelashes.

“You are not a woman. You are an over-grown child,” Cougar says.

“Cougar, you wound me!”

Both Maria and Carlos roll their eyes, but Maria is happy to share more.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've been putting Cougar through the wringer, but this concludes the depressing chapters. Happy and naughty chapters from here out. Deciding to add really depressing chapters to a bunch of Christmas fics to begin with says a lot about me I guess. Oops.


	16. All I Want For Christmas

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jensen tries to improve Cougar's shitty week with some dancing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Explicit sexual content in this chapter. 
> 
> Other Warnings: Jensen in drag

When Maria leaves, Jensen sneaks up to Carlos' room. Cougar is lying in bed, cleaning his weapons with great care since he only has use of one arm.

“Hey,” Jake says as he bounces into the room. Cougar nods at him, still focusing on his task. “Okay, so you've had a shitty week. You got shot. You got concussed, and broken. You lost your hat. And oops, Jensen opened his mouth and surprise family reunion. Your sister is awesome by the way. But not a great week all around. I mean, I know how hospital beds make you cranky,” Jake rambles.

Cougar gives him a look that says get to the point.

“Do you trust me?” Jake asks suddenly. Cougar gives him a deadpan look, and Jake hurries on. “Okay, dumb question. Can I do something for you?” he asks instead. Cougar opens his mouth, but Jake beats him to it. “A surprise something.”

Cougar frowns, but he nods slowly despite his misgivings. Jake lights up as he grabs one of Cougar's scarves and goes to blindfold him. He expects resistance, but Carlos lets him wrap the material over his eyes without a fuss.

“It must be bad if you're letting me tie you up without a fight,” Jake says only half joking. Cougar catches his arm and squeezes it. “Trust. Yeah, I get you,” Jake says as he steps away.

He glances back at Cougar for a second before fiddling with his computer. “Okay, so give me like a minute to go get something. I promise I won't leave you like that. Just let me run and get it,” Jake rambles before sprinting to the bathroom. Inside is a package he had shipped overnight. He quickly pulls off his sweater and jeans and changes into the contents of the box.

Cougar is still sitting patiently when he returns. His guns are assembled neatly on their bed, confirming that he can in fact do it with his eyes closed. “I'm just gonna put these away first, okay?” Jake asks as he takes each weapon and puts it where it belongs. Cougar makes no complaints.

“How are the ribs? Can you sit in my squishy chair for a little bit?” Jake asks, concerned.

“Sí,” Cougar confirms, lifting his arm, so Jensen can help him up quickly. Jake pushes the rolling office chair over to the bed, and Cougar shifts onto it and tries to get comfortable. Jake can tell that it isn't ideal, but Cougar doesn't seem to be in any extraordinary pain, not that he would show it if he was.

Jake rolls him to the middle of the room then flips on the Christmas music on his computer. “Jingle Bell Rock” begins to play, and Cougar snorts as Jake tugs off his blindfold.

Cougar blinks once before his full attention is on Jake. Jake's wearing a Santa hat, a white fur trimmed red tank top that makes his pecs look huge, a white trimmed mini-skirt, and his combat boots. He looks ridiculous, awkwardly swaying his hips back and forth to the beat. Cougar raises an eyebrow, but Jake just gives him a smile that probably relays how awkward things are about to get.

Jake begins to do the dance from _Mean Girls_ like a pro because he is the best boyfriend, and if Cougar ever says differently, his isn't to be believed. He puts one arm up then the other as he moves his hips, then he spreads his legs and slaps his hands down on his thighs. He smirks as Cougar's tongue pokes out to lick his lips. Jake turns to the right and puts his hands in front of him and he bends a little then hip thrusts forward several steps.

Cougar snorts at Jensen's moves, but Jake smiles at him as he ends with his hands folded over his popped knee. Immediately, the song fades into “All I Want for Christmas,” and Jensen tears away the skirt to reveal a red pair of lace, cheeky panties. He isn't imagining it when he hears Cougar's sharp inhale.

Jake turns, so his back is facing Cougar and he bends over and begins to shake his lace covered ass. The panties have tiny bells sewn to the sides, and they jingle as he wiggles. Jake is grateful that he has no shame because he knows his dancing, if not the ridiculous outfit, is shameful.

When he straightens up again, he looks over his shoulder to make sure Cougar isn't completely disgusted, but Cougar is actually genuinely smiling at him. So, Jake takes the little confidence boost and grips the edges of the tank top. He peels it up slowly, still facing away and swaying his hips, so Cougar gets a clear view of his back muscles as he slowly reveals them.

Somehow, he gets the tank off without dislodging the hat, and when he turns to face Cougar in nothing but a hat, panties, and combat boots, Cougar's eyes are dark with desire. “All I want for Christmas is you,” Jake sings along to the song as he walks toward Cougar's prone form. He makes sure to sway his hips as he walks, and when he's directly in front of Cougar he gently touches his knees and squats, spreading his knees as he goes.

Cougar actually growls at the display, and Jensen feels bad because Cougar can't do a whole lot in his current condition. Jensen's cock is straining against the flimsy fabric, leaving nothing to Cougar's imagination, but he can't even bend forward enough to touch it. So Jensen, being the magnanimous guy that he is, tugs Cougar's sweatpants over his hips as he continues to shake his ass.

Jake doesn't even wait for the song to finish to fall to his knees and lick the head of Cougar's cock. Cougar's uninjured hand finds its way into Jake's hair immediately. He groans as Jake continues to tease the head with gentle licks and kisses.

“Tease,” Cougar growls, tugging softly at Jensen's hair. It's not even a threat, because Jake knows he loves to let Jake take his time.

Jake just gives him a playful smile through his tinted lenses. He takes the head of Cougar's cock into his mouth and runs his tongue around it. He reaches up and runs his fingers over Cougar's exposed thighs. Carlos lets his head tip back against the back of the chair and massages Jake's scalp as he pleasures him.

Jake takes more of him into his mouth and begins to move his head up and down slowly, enjoying the feeling of Cougar in his mouth. He lets his blunt nails dig into Carlos' thighs slightly as he takes as much of his erection as he can. Cougar never thrusts up into Jake's mouth, always completely in control of his urges. Jake will never understand that level of control. When Cougar blows him, he's a writhing mess before Coug even gets his mouth on him, and Cougar is guaranteed to have a sore jaw afterward.

Jake looks up as he pulls back, so he can swirl his tongue around the head again. Cougar's looking down at him with the serene expression that Jake sees so seldom that he wishes he could take a picture, but he sucks him down again instead and finds Cougar's fingers, so they can lace them together.

“Gorgeous,” Cougar mutters as Jensen takes him all in again. It's messy, and Jensen's eyes water, but it's exhilarating to have Cougar at his mercy. He enthusiastically bobs his head before pulling off completely. Cougar doesn't reveal his disappointment, but Jake can feel it like it's a part of him.

Instead of going back to blowing Cougar, he kisses his thighs and pays attention to his balls, while his hand strokes his cock slowly. Cougar hums as Jensen pays attention to all of his sensitive spots. He works his way back to Carlos' cock, starting at the base and running his tongue along the length of it. Then he takes it in his mouth again, and smirks up at Cougar with his lips spread around it.

He takes it all the way to the root and applies pressure without making it painful for his lover. He cups Cougar's balls as he hollows his checks and drives Cougar off the wall. Carlos' hand leaves his own and finds its way back into his hair, tugging more firmly than before.

Jensen's own cock his straining against the lace of his panties, and he reaches down between his own legs with the hand Carlos let go of. He presses the heel of his palm to his erection as he sucks Cougar. He almost chokes at the sudden attention to his own body, and Cougar's insistent hand in his hair drives him toward his own release.

He doubles his efforts, but Cougar is already so close that it only takes another stroke to tip him over. Jensen's been with Cougar long enough to know his tells, so he's prepared when Cougar spills into his mouth. What Jensen isn't expecting is to find his own release a moment later and come inside his panties. Jake moans through it, causing some of Cougar's come to dribble from his mouth, but Cougar wipes it away with his thumb as Jake pulls off of him.

Jake closes his eyes and rests his head on Cougar's thigh, catching his breath as the sniper catches his own. “So, I know my striptease and blowjobs don't come close to making up for you losing your hat, but did that at least help a little?” Jake mumbles gripping Cougar's thigh like it will keep him from floating away.

Cougar doesn't say anything, but he takes Jake's hand in his and squeezes it. When Jake looks up at him, he's got a serious expression. “Here with you,” he says, holding Jake's hand tightly. “This is what matters,” he finishes.

“You fuckin' know it,” Jake says adamantly, pushing himself up, so he can kiss Cougar gently. Cougar has other ideas and turns the kiss dirty quickly. Jake chuckles when they pull back. “What are the odds of us being able to cuddle without it being really painful for you?” he asks hopefully.

“We will figure it out,” Cougar says and lets Jensen help him back to bed. It requires Jake to steal pillows from Pooch, Roque, and Clay's beds, but eventually they get Cougar comfortable enough to snuggle up with Jensen, and they both doze happily wrapped together.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As promised a less depressing and more naughty chapter. If you didn't get the Mean Girls reference, look up Mean Girls Jingle Bell Rock to see the dance.


	17. Eggnog and Mistletoe

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Losers head to the bar to unwind.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I use bits of several Christmas songs in this chapter. Obviously, I don't own Blue Christmas or Santa Baby, and I'm certainly not gaining profit from them.

“Jensen, hurry up. Cougar got down here faster than you, and he's only working with one arm and leg right now,” Clay yells up the stairs. Since they've got a bit more leave than expected, due to Cougar's unfortunate injuries, they've decided to hit the bar before everyone heads their separate ways for the holidays. Or they're going to hit the bar if Jensen ever comes down from his room. Even Cougar made it down the stairs on his single crutch before their tech. Of course, Cougar was shaking his head and muttering in Spanish about Jake as he did.

“You can't rush greatness!” Jake shouts from somewhere upstairs, and Cougar looks more pained than he did when he shifted wrong and pulled at his abused ribs on the landing.

“How bad is it?” Clay asks, and they all know he's talking about Jake as opposed to Cougar's health.

Cougar raises an eyebrow as if to ask _what do you think?_ Clay sighs and Pooch laughs at them, completely loving every bit of Jake's holiday insanity.

“I'm ready!” Jake cries as he slides down the bannister. The entire team watches him as he dismounts with a lively spring in his step. He's wearing his reindeer having sex sweater, and on his head are a pair of antlers with a wire sticking up with a spring of mistletoe hanging from it.

“Eight,” Pooch says.

“Nah, twelve,” Roque adds.

“Three before end of first round,” Cougar says. “And red till Christmas.”

“Hmm, red till the 27 th ,” Pooch nods.

“Guys, stop betting on how many times I'll get slapped. I'll have you know that women can't resist my festive charms. There will be no violence against me or my mistletoe tonight,” Jake says as he swaggers up to the group. His theory is met with four snorts from his teammates. “If I didn't know how much you love me, I would be insulted right now,” he huffs dramatically. He's met with more snorts. Clay just turns and walks out to the Jeep. 

When they get to their usual watering hole, Clay is horrified to note that it is the holiday party, complete with eggnog and holiday tune karaoke. “We need to leave before Jensen gets in here with Cougar, and he vetoes any chance of escape,” Clay says as he stops in his tracks, watching Larry—one of the regulars—butcher “Little Drummer Boy.”

“Too late, Bossman. I got the flier that came in the mail last week,” Jensen says as he pushes through their little cluster. Clay turns to see Cougar smirking behind them.

“You knew about this and didn't warn us?” he asks, narrowing his eyes at the injured sniper.

“It makes him happy,” Cougar replies with a shrug.

“I'm not fucking him, Sergeant. I don't care if he's happy,” Clay grumbles, but he follows Jensen to the table he scoped out.

They all grab a seat, and Jensen offers to grab the first round. He doesn't even wait for their orders as he marches up to the bar.

“This is going to end terribly,” Clay groans as he turns to the rest of them. Someone else is singing a song so poorly that Clay doesn't actually recognize it. The woman seems to be of the mindset that if the microphone is practically in her mouth, the song will sound better. Instead, the probably once beloved tune sounds like a lot of heavy breathing and slurred words.

Cougar elbows Roque, and suddenly everyone is watching the bar. Jake's leaning against it beside a blonde woman in a low cut red sweater. She looks to be about his age, and completely uninterested in what he's selling. Clay has to give her credit there.

Jake seems undeterred by her cold shoulder as he exaggeratedly mimes something to do with his hat. Clay watches the show without being able to hear what Jake's saying. Pooch and Roque fill in their own commentary. They all suck in a breath as the woman raises her hand, but she just places it on Jake's bicep. He leans in and whispers something in her ear then.

“Oh, I think I felt that from here,” Roque hisses as the woman slaps Jensen then walks away. 

“It's really good to see that he hasn't lost his touch just because he's dating you now,” Pooch says as he looks at Cougar. Cougar smiles and shrugs, looking completely unconcerned by Jensen talking to women at the bar.

Jensen carries their drinks to the table on a festive snowman tray. “Okay, one eggnog for our fearless leader. One for the Poochman. One for Knife-fetish. One for me, and a Shirley Temple for our medicated kitty,” Jensen says happily as he passes the mugs around. Cougar raises an eyebrow at the drink, but he plucks the cherry out of it and eats it.

“What happened to no violence?” Pooch asks.

“What? Oh her? That wasn't violence. That was a love tap. I told her I was a taken man, and she just couldn't handle it. I don't like to break hearts, but I'm off the market,” Jake says with a shrug. Roque snorts so hard that he almost chokes on his drink. 

Clay shakes his head as Jake takes a seat. Cougar wins the three slaps before the end of the first round. Jensen gets slapped by two friends or possibly girlfriends as he makes his way over to put himself on the karaoke list. Jensen isn't the only one getting into trouble. Roque finishes his own eggnog and then steals Jake's as the tech wanders away. 

Jake brings back another round when he returns, and Roque jumps on it immediately. “Look who's festive after all,” Jake smirks as he sips the sweet drink. 

“Shaddup,” Roque says as he takes the mug that Clay doesn't want. 

“I'm going to grab a real drink,” Clay says, and he definitely catches Jensen's eye roll at his word choice, but that's part of the fun. He feels like he's only gone for a moment, stopping to flirt with a woman along the way, but when he gets back, Jake and Roque are loudly—and decidedly off key—singing along to the karaoke. 

“How much bourbon was in that eggnog?” Clay asks as he slides in next to Cougar, who accepts a second Shirley Temple from him. Who would've thought Cougar actually liked the sweet, fizzy drinks and wasn't just putting up with Jensen being Jensen. It makes Clay wonder about a lot of the little things they assume Cougar just puts up with because Jensen seems to get a kick out of them.

Jensen gets called up for karaoke, and Clay wants to flee. “Santa Baby” has never sounded dirtier than it does as Jake practically purrs into the microphone. The crowd seems to eat it up, egging him on as he gets more ridiculous. He actually strokes a finger down his chest as he sings,  _Santa baby, so hurry down the chimney tonight._

“I'm going to need another drink,” Pooch says as he watches a Christmas classic be warped by Jensen. “I'm going to need brain bleach.”

Cougar laughs quietly in his corner of the booth, seemingly content to watch the mess around him. Roque's wandered off by then, and Clay only sees him again when he steps up on stage. Clay wasn't even aware that Roque knew the words to 'Holly Jolly Christmas', and by the time he's done slurring through it, Clay still isn't sure that he knows them. It's possibly worse than Jensen's song, and Jensen seems to be so excited about it that he steps away from the woman who's yet to slap him to congratulate Roque.

“Did you hear that?” Roque asks as he sits down at the table again.

“I wish I could un-hear it,” Clay mutters, but Roque doesn't hear him. Cougar clearly does if his laughter is anything to go by.

The next singer is somewhere between eating-the-microphone-lady and Roque's level of lyrical incompetence. Roque gives the woman a standing ovation, knocking over Cougar's crutch in the process. “Man, that was beautiful,” he tells the woman as she walks by. She blushes, and invites him back to her table to discuss the importance of keeping Christ in Christmas. Clay is fairly certain that Roque is not religious, or at least he wasn't when they came into the bar. 

Jake's wandered off again, and Clay thinks nothing of it until Cougar goes rigid at his side. Clay didn't know a man with two broken ribs, and broken leg, and an rather extensive bullet wound to the shoulder could move that fast, but he's proven wrong when Cougar pushes himself out of the booth and is limping across the bar in a flash. It's then that Clay sees Jake squaring off with a man his size. Pooch is following Cougar in an instant.

“Whoa, man, where's your holiday cheer? I was just asking the lady if she has a favorite Christmas tune because I'd like to sing it for her,” Jake is saying as Clay gets close. 

“Stay away from my girlfriend, you perv,” the man growls.

“He wasn't hitting on me Randy,” the girlfriend insists as she pulls at his arm.

“That's not very nice to say. You probably don't even know what her favorite Christmas song is,” Jensen continues.

“I've seen you hitting on all the girls,” the man says getting into Jake's space.

“That's a matter of perception now isn't it? Did you take a survey? Did I hit on you?” Jensen asks, and Clay can see the energy coiling in him like a spring. This won't end well.

“ _Enough_ . He is sorry. He meant no harm,” Cougar says tugging Jake back. Jake goes with Cougar's direction because it's instinct to follow what Cougar says. It's saved his life—all of their lives—many times.

“Oh and what are you going to do about it?” the guy asks turning to Cougar. Clay doesn't doubt that Cougar knows exactly how he's going to wipe the floor with this guy, injuries be damned, but he really doesn't want to spend the night in the ER having Cougar's stitches redone. The guy goes to reach for Cougar's injured arm, and before even the sniper can react, Jensen's fist connects with the man's gut.

“It's 'Silver Bells', and keep your fuckin' hands off my boyfriend. If you listened to what your girlfriend had to say once in a while, maybe she wouldn't be talking to the guy wearing antlers in public,” Jake says, continuing his own conversation as though he didn't just start a fight in their favorite bar...over Christmas carols. 

Clay is sure that Jensen's addled mind believes that's the end of it, but the other guy has different ideas. He spears Jake into one of the high top tables while he's bent over from Jake's punch. Cougar just manages to get out of the way before he too is knocked over by the guy. Somehow, Roque is the first one to Jake's defense, appearing out of nowhere to dive onto the other guy.

On the stage, a very determined man continues to sing 'Blue Christmas,' while a brawl breaks out. Clay grits his teeth as he watches Roque hit the guy that was angry with Jensen with a bar stool. Unlike in the movies, the stool doesn't break, but the guy goes down, taking Jake back down with him. Jensen loses one of his antlers as he scrambles to his feet. Now he looks like a deranged, sex crazed reindeer with his damaged horns and still that sweater.

Cougar holds his own, keeping people back with his crutch and hitting others with it when they try to sneak up on Jake. Clay cringes every time Cougar swings because those ribs must be killing him.

_But I'll have a blue, blue, blue Christmas_ , the man sings loudly over the roar of the fight. Clay's got to give the man credit. At least, he knows the words and is hitting the notes. Sadly, no one cares right now.

The bartender ends up hosing everyone in range down, and it surprisingly has the desired effect. People pull back and stop fighting. Cougar pulls Jake to his side and doesn't let him go when he tries to pull away. Clay does the same with Roque. Pooch is helping the staff try to calm the situation. 

“Everybody settle down,” the bartender yells over the crowd. He threatens to throw everyone out just as the song changes. 

“Oh, Coug this is for us. Come on, we've got to sing,” Jake suddenly insists as 'Baby, It's Cold Outside' starts to play. Clay hasn't seen Cougar look this unimpressed since Pooch tried to tell him that American football was superior to soccer.

“We are going home,” Cougar says just about the time that Tim, the bartender, kicks them out. Jake's pout is a bit over the top, as is Roque sympathy for him.

No one but Cougar is sober enough to drive, and well, he is in no condition to do it. So, they end up walking the two miles home. Somehow, Roque is the one using Cougar's crutch because some guy kicked him in his bad ankle. Cougar is hobbling mostly by his one power, but he let's Clay help him when his ribs kick up a fuss. Jensen is stumbling along, half draped over Pooch while he sings a mash up of songs. 

“Jake, why do you do this to us? It's not like you need to hit on the girls at the bar,” Pooch asks as he groans at Jake's weight.

“Huh? I wasn't hitting on girls,” Jake pauses his singing, confused.

“Really Jake? Three women slapped you because you weren't hitting on them?” Pooch continues.

“What? No! I was discussing the best holiday songs. And my sweater. This sweater was definitely a hit.”

“Then why did they slap you?” Clay asks, though he really doesn't know why he sets himself up for this.

“I asked them to. Got to keep up appearance, Colonel. Women can't just stop wanting to hit me one day. People will know something's up,” Jake says proudly. 

Pooch turns to Cougar and glares. “You told him you'd bet three!” he shouts.

Clay questions what went wrong in his career that he ended up with these idiots as Roque joins in on 'Let it Snow.' Clay's exceptionally displeased when it actually starts to snow as they sing. 

 


	18. The Naughty List

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Not all of the Losers have been good this year, especially if you ask their exes.

Clay should've known his night was headed for disaster after the bar incident. Trudging home in the falling snow while Jensen and Roque sing off key is enough to give anyone a headache.

“Um, guys, is it me or did someone behead Rudolph?” Jake asks as they stumble up to the house in the accumulating snow.

“No, he's definitely headless, and I'm pretty sure Prancer is taking a dump on his skull,” Pooch confirms, sounding baffled.

“What the hell?” Clay asks as he takes in all of the lawn. Jensen's winter wonderland looks like some deranged fairytale now. Clay is willing to admit the reindeer looked like they had partied a little too hard before, but now they look like they partied too hard with a hunting party.

Several of the reindeer are missing limbs. One is hung from the roof by a strand of Christmas lights. It's rather disturbing.

“Where's Santa?” Roque asks, pointing at the chimney that once had Santa's legs hanging out of it.

“Does our house say 'naughty list' in bold letters?” Jake questions, cocking his head to the side.

“Sí,” Cougar says. “Clay?”

“What Cougar?” Clay barks. He really doesn't want to deal with shitty kids vandalizing their house at this time of night.

“Did one of your exes have a key?” Cougar asks.

“Why the hell would I give one of those crazies a key?”

“Perhaps she made one.”

“What are you getting at, Cougar?”

“Your room is smoking,” Cougar points to the side of the house where Clay's room is, and sure enough there is smoke coming out of the bedroom window.

“Oh fuck! Let's go, treat this as if the hostile is still inside,” Clay orders. Roque pulls a knife as they head for the front door. They fan out as soon as they're inside, each grabbing weapons as they go. Cougar takes the bottom floor with Pooch while Jake, Roque, and Clay go toward the fire.

Clay is prepared for the worst when they get to the top of the stairs. He's already going through the list of women he's brought here, and which could have had access.

Jensen and Roque split off, clearing the other rooms as Clay continues toward his own.

“Clear,” Jake calls from his room then Cougar's, Roque says the same about his, Pooch's, and the bathroom.

Clay pauses outside his door which is shut and waits for the other two. Jake and Roque both have guns now, and Clay pushes the door open then steps back, so Jake can clear it.

“She murdered Santa!” Jake shouts as he aims at the bed. The Santa that had been sticking out of the chimney is now on Clay's bed, on fire.

“Well that explains where he went,” Roque mutters as he looks inside. Holding a bucket of water he filled in the bathroom.

“Who murders Santa?” Jake continues to shout, rushing into the room then starting to cough immediately. “I'll save you,” he calls to the dummy, but Roque pulls him back.

Pooch comes up with another bucket of water which he dumps on the charred bed. Roque adds his own to douse the flames. “Downstairs is fine. Though you've been cut out of the Christmas card,” Pooch says to Clay as the bed smolders.

“How could she murder Santa?” Jensen looks like a kicked puppy, and Clay doesn't understand how the man can be one of the most competent soldiers he's ever worked with and also look like this.

“Be happy she didn't murder your computers too, Jake,” Clay growls. Jake narrows his eyes, and Clay knows he's said the wrong thing.

“I'm not the one turning women into homicidal maniacs. I shouldn't need to be grateful that you only inspire women to want to kill _you_. I already get shot at regularly, I don't need to be dodging your bullets too,” Jake says sharply before walking away, muttering angrily.

“Well done, Colonel,” Pooch says unsympathetically.

“We don't even know if this has to do with my exes,” Clay defends himself.

“Cougar caught her downstairs in the den. Evidently, she pulled a Goldilocks, set your bed on fire and then took a nap in Cougar's comfy chair,” Pooch says as he watches as Santa sort of melts and adheres to the charred covers. Looks like Clay is taking Cougar's old room tonight, if Jensen doesn't have Cougar sleep there just to spite him.

“Did he kill her?” Clay asks a bit concerned.

“He's giving her milk and Jolene's cookies.”

“What?”

Pooch shrugs, and Clay really hates his team sometimes. He storms downstairs to find Cougar sitting on the couch while Lilian—not even Clay's most recent or volatile ex—sits in his chair, eating a sugar cookie shaped like a reindeer.

Cougar looks completely at ease as she rambles about how best to prop himself, to be comfortable with broken ribs.

“What the fuck is this?” Clay demands, and Lilian looks at him, her face going red as she glares.

Lilian doesn't even wait to explain things before she's launching herself off the chair and going for Clay's throat. “You bastard!” she shouts as she wraps her fingers around his neck. Clay goes down like a sack of bricks, and he swears he hears Cougar snort. “I was nothing but good to you, and you tell me you're shipping out for six years, and I find out you're living in the suburbs!” she yells as she tightens her grip.

Pooch tries to pull her off, as does Roque, but she wiggles out of their grip and continues to attack Clay. Clay tries to push her off, but damn is she squirmy.

Jake's the one that gets her attention. “Lilian, long time no see. How you been? Did you get my Christmas present?” He asks, a cookie sticking out of his mouth.

“Hey, Jay. I did. It's awesome. Thanks. I left yours on your desk,” she replies with a smile, as though she isn't choking Clay out. Jake smiles.

“Have you ever had champurrado? Coug's sister introduced me to it, and man I can't get enough of it. You want some? I'm cookin' up a batch,” he asks casually, and Clay really wishes he'd hurry up this rescue mission. Then again, Jensen is probably taking his time just to be contrary.

“Sure!” she replies.

“Come pick a mug. Have you seen my naughty elf mug?”

Just like that, Lilian is off of Clay and following Jensen rambling about naked elves and Santa hats. Of course, she kicks him in the ribs as she steps over him, but he can't have everything.

“Christ,” Clay groans as he rubs at his neck. That's definitely going to bruise.

“If my sister brought you home, I would shoot you,” Cougar says, shaking his head.

“Hey...”

“You told the girl we were deploying for _six years,_ ” Pooch says.

“She _believed_ me.”

“That's cold, man,” Roque confirms. “I'd definitely agree about the naughty list.”

“Really? All of you agree with her?”

“You'll be lucky that Jake doesn't send her your next paycheck as a Christmas bonus,” Pooch remarks, and suddenly Clay feels like he can totally do some groveling. He grumbles about it, but none of them show much sympathy, which Clay thinks is a bit unfair seeing as Jensen started an entire bar fight tonight just to keep up appearances that he's straight, but then outed himself in the process. Yet, no one is mad at Jensen. Clay tells one woman he's moving overseas, and he's a monster.

Before he can finish his thoughts, Jensen comes into the room followed by Lilian. Both of them are carrying steaming mugs. Jensen hands one to Roque then settles onto the sofa with Cougar, giving him one as well. Lilian hands one to Pooch before settling back in the chair.

She groans as she takes her first sip, and Jake smiles. “It's really tasty,” she tells him, and Jake preens, turning to Cougar who nods his agreement.

“Try 23 is a success,” he shouts.

“What about me?” Clay asks, and he's met with Jake and Lilian's glares.

“Naughty boys don't get tasty drinks,” Jake says smugly.

“Oh fuck you!” Clay groans.

“No thank you,” Jake and Lilian say in unison, and Clay really needs new friends or maybe a whole new team.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Some days I just want to strangle Clay (especially comic Clay). Today is clearly one of those days. I guess you could also say that I sort of headcanon that Clay isn't just attracted to volatile women, he turns perfectly levelheaded women crazy with his bullshit. Though this is something I feel like all of the losers would inspire in their partners.


	19. The Storyteller

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jensen and Cougar head up to Jake's sister's place for the holidays.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter warning: teeth rotting fluff.

Cougar suffers through Jake packing them into his car with twenty hours worth of Christmas mix CDs. Thankfully, the trip up to Jake's sister's house isn't sixteen hours, or Cougar might commit murder over Christmas song overdose. Jake happily sings along to the radio as he drives, and Cougar curls in on himself concentrating on the road ahead of them.

Beth greets them both with hugs when they arrive, and Erin fusses over feeding them. Cougar will admit, just being with Jake's sister and niece feels more like holidays of his youth than hanging around with the team. Cougar loves the team like family, but they're all a bunch of misfits and cynics who don't really remember the meaning of holidays.

Beth tugs at their sleeves to tell them about elves on shelves and that she's preparing to track Santa. Her belief in the magic of Christmas still so real and uplifting. She also talks their ear off about her pageant at school tomorrow. She runs to collect the new Christmas stories Erin has bought for her, and she tells Jake that he has to read them to her tonight before bed. Then she turns to Cougar and holds up one of the stories.

“Look Uncle Cougar, mommy got me a story about your home,” she says brandishing _The Legend of the Poinsettia_. Cougar smiles and nods.

“I will read it to you later,” he promises.

“Don't ever tell her you actually grew up in Texas. It'll ruin her whole life,” Jake whispers in his ear while Beth runs off to fetch something else to show them. Cougar smirks at Jake and shakes his head in exasperation.

It's obvious that Jake would be more devastated if Beth suddenly stopped proudly showing Cougar everything with a 'made in Mexico' sticker and telling him that she wants him to feel at home—as though Mexico is actually the name of his house and not an entire country— completely missing the point that her mother wants him to feel like part of the family instead of at his literal home. Jake absolutely loves the mystery of what she'll dig up for Cougar's approval next, and Carlos will admit that her enthusiasm is incredibly endearing.

Cougar can't wait to see what she gets him for Christmas this year. Last year was a dollar store dish towel that had a very bold 'Made in Mexico' tag on it, and she had adamantly insisted that Erin must buy for him. Erin had been so apologetic, glaring at her brother the entire time, insisting she did not teacher her five year old daughter to be culturally insensitive. Cougar had waved it off, appreciating Beth's desire to treat him like family.

Jake had laughed so hard that he'd fallen over, until he unwrapped his own Beth-approved gift to find a little figurine of a goat, which she proudly told him looked just like him. Cougar had definitely won that round, but Jake still proudly displays the little figure on his computer desk.

\---

Cougar ends up being the one that does the reading. Jake makes a valiant effort of helping Beth get ready for bed even as his eyelids droop. He brushes his teeth with her, and helps her pick which cartoon character nightgown she wishes to wear. He helps her change into it and makes a big show of rescuing her when she gets her head stuck in it. He gently tugs it over her head and kisses her nose as he smiles brightly at her.

“I found you. Wasn't sure you'd escape Ariel's clutches, but we saved you,” Jake says as he smooths down her Little Mermaid nightgown. Beth laughs at him as she hugs his neck. Jake hugs her right back and lifts her off the floor and carries her to her bed.

“This bed isn't nearly big enough for a Christmas story slumber party,” Jake complains when his legs reach the end of her bed while he's sitting up.

“But, Uncle Jake, you promised to read to me!” Beth sounds distraught, and Cougar smiles lovingly at her. He ruffles her hair as Jake makes a show of thinking.

“You know who has a bed fit for a slumber party?” Jake asks, and Cougar rolls his eyes knowing what's coming.

“Who?” Beth asks dutifully. Jake loves a captive audience.

“Uncle Cougar!”

“Can we have a slumber party in your room, Uncle Cougar?” Beth asks, and Carlos gives Jake a significant look, but he nods at her nonetheless.

Jake gives Beth a high five as he lifts her and runs out of the room toward the guest room Cougar stays in. Cougar gathers the books they've forgotten and limps down the hall after them.

He isn't surprised at all when he finds them bouncing up and down on his bed. Jake is just as enthusiastic as his niece as he jumps up, touching the ceiling on each hop. Beth has the pillow Cougar planned to use for sleep tonight and is swinging it at her uncle who yelps and attempts to dodge.

Cougar just waits in the doorway while they pillow fight. Jensen is careful to restrain every hit, so Beth doesn't get hurt, and it only adds to the comedy of it. Jensen with his arms the size of his niece's head getting beat up by her, and both of them wearing colorful cartoon pajamas.

“Coug, save me!” Jake cries as he lets himself fall onto his back after a big bounce. Beth bounces up high and only Jensen's quick reflexes save him from taking a small leg to the stomach or groin. Instead, he catches Beth even as she continues to hit him with the over stuffed pillow.

“What is going on in here?” Erin asks from right behind Cougar. Her hands are on her hips, and Cougar fights a chuckle as Jake immediately gets the deer-in-headlights look. Cougar's watched Erin box Jake's ears more than he's ever seen her discipline her daughter. That's not to say that Jake doesn't deserve it more often. He certainly does.

“Cougar said we could,” Jake insists, and Cougar's eyebrows shoot up.

“Don't try to push the blame on him,” Erin says, tapping her foot even as Beth squirms in Jake's hold, still hovering over the bed.

“We're having a slumber party, mommy!” Beth tells her, and Cougar smiles at Erin's put upon look.

“You have school in the morning, Missy. No slumber parties till winter break,” Erin puts her foot down.

“But _mom_.”

“But _sis_.”

They whine in unison, and Cougar and Erin share a look. Erin actually cringes when the pretty pleases start from both of them.

“I will make sure they get to bed on time,” Cougar assures her softly, and Erin snorts.

“I'll have you know that I don't have a bedtime, Cougar,” Jake asserts even as he yawns widely. Beth giggles at him, and he narrows his eyes at her, pulling her in and tickling her sides. She shrieks and begins to squirm.

“Good luck with that,” Erin shakes her head at Cougar. Cougar shrugs. He has his ways of wrangling Jensens.

“Make sure Jake gets some rest. He looks beat,” she whispers in his ear as she squeezes his arm gently. “And really, don't be afraid to have me come lay the law down, or take her if you two want to be alone.”

“It will not be a problem. He cherishes his time with her,” Cougar replies, kissing Erin on the cheek before she goes back to the work she'd been doing in her home office.

“Mija, what story do you want to hear?” Cougar asks as he walks toward his bed.

“ _Night Before Christmas_!” she says, and Cougar watches Jake cringe. Last year, Beth had forced Jake to read the poem to her over a dozen times in the four days they'd stayed with his family.

Cougar puts the other books on his night stand before walking to the head of the bed. It's not easy to get onto it and comfortable with his injuries, but he manages it slowly. Beth immediately starts to climb towards him, but Jake scoops her up and sits her in his lap, and he sits next to Cougar.

Cougar opens the first page of the book and begins to read, holding the large book so Jensen and Beth can see all of the beautiful illustrations as he goes. They fall silent as soon as he starts, mesmerized by his lilting words.

“Look, it's Santa,” Beth points as he turns the page to reveal Santa by the stockings. She sounds so awed as she reaches out to run her fingers over the drawing.

“Sure is, Munchkin. He's gonna come here too and fill your little stocking up with all sorts of goodies, isn't he, Uncle Cougar?” Jake says, looking up at him while fighting a yawn.

“Sí, but only if you have been a good girl for your mother,” Cougar says with a doting smile.

“I've been good!” she insists. “I help set the table, and I pick up my toys, and I brush my teeth all by myself,” she explains, counting her good deeds on her fingers. Cougar nods seriously.

He starts reading again, and Beth listens. Jensen, however, begins to nod off almost immediately. The poor man drove all day then chased Beth around since the moment they walked through the door. Normally, Cougar would do his fair share of chasing, but Erin pushed him into a chair in the kitchen while she cooked, and she insisted that they talk instead.

Beth gets a small frown on her face when Jake begins to snore. Cougar stops her with a slight shake of his head when she goes to wake him. “No, mija. Uncle Jake is very tired. We must let him rest,” Cougar explains pulling her into his own lap, careful of his ribs. He continues to read two more stories until she in fast asleep in his arms.

When Erin comes to check on Beth before she goes to bed, she finds Cougar reading his own book, sitting up in bed. Beside him, Jensen and Beth are curled up under the covers, sleeping peacefully.

“Did you drug them?” she asks as she tiptoes over to the bed. She fusses with the comforter for a moment before leaning down and kissing both of their foreheads.

“Just a bedtime story,” Cougar shrugs, and Erin gets that sentimental look in her eye that Maria always has.

“You're so good to them. Thank you, Carlos,” she says earnestly, and Cougar can only nod solemnly. “If you need space to sleep, take Jake's room. He'll understand,” she offers.

“Thank you,” he tells her.

In the morning, before Erin wakes Beth for school, she sneaks into the room with her camera and takes a picture of her brother, her daughter, and Cougar all curled up together in the giant bed. Cougar lies stiffly on his back, but his fingers are laced with Jensen's, and Jake is on his side curled protectively around his niece like she's a teddy bear. Beth's one hand is wrapped tightly in Jake's t-shirt and the thumb of her other hand is securely in her mouth. Cougar turns his head and smirks at her as she takes one more picture, and she freezes. Instead of saying anything, he closes his eyes again and goes back to his meditation. Erin tiptoes back out with her prize.

 


	20. The Winter Pageant

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Erin, Cougar, and Jensen go to see Beth's Winter Pageant.

It's hard to say whether Beth or Jake is more excited about the Winter Pageant that Beth's school puts on. Jake has been bouncing around the house repeating everything that Beth told him over breakfast to anyone or thing that will listen. Honestly, Erin's potted plans could do without the play by play. Several of them are still recovering from Jake's last visit. Cougar nods along to everything Jake says without ever losing his patience. Erin wishes she could say the same about herself.

She adores her little brother. She's proud of his accomplishments and his unfaltering optimism. However, she has one six year old. She certainly doesn't need a second one running around the house during the hours that are supposed to be calm and quiet and reserved for work. Jensen is an endless ball of energy, and Erin, as a mother of a young child, has no energy to spare for her over eager brother.

So, she is grateful when Cougar, in his quiet way, calms some of Jake's energy with a subtle touch or soft remark. They aren't overt about their relationship at all. When Jake first told her about it, she was a little afraid that her overly affectionate brother would be all over Cougar in front of her impressionable daughter. Erin doesn't need to see her brother groping anyone ever again, she lived through his teenage years thank you very much. Her daughter certainly doesn't need to see that.

However, Jake and Cougar aren't a mass of PDAs or poorly hidden embraces. They're constantly in each others space, but it's natural. Shoulders brush in wordless messages. Hands find elbows or backs just as a reminder of the others presence. On occasion Jake will give Cougar a big smacking kiss on the cheek, but Erin's even witnessed him do that to Clay, though with slightly more violent results.

That isn't to say they hide it from her daughter. Of course, they have their playful moments too. Even at six years of age, Beth knows there is something special between her uncle and his best friend. Slumber party or not, two grown men rarely share a bed without being something more than casual friends. They don't curl in each others arms while watching movies the way Jensen will with Cougar. Beth never asks, but Erin's found more than one drawing around the house of Cougar and Jake holding hands in front of a house as a child might draw their parents.

Jake counts down the minutes until they finally pile into Erin's minivan and drive over to the school. Erin is just grateful that camera equipment isn't what it was when she was growing up because Jake's four different types of cameras would've taken up the entire minivan if that were the case. Instead, he has his phone, a video camera, a very expensive digital camera, and a GoPro all on his person, and he doesn't even look like he's going into combat.

Cougar is a blessing because he quiets Jensen's excited chatter just by sitting next to him. Jensen's loud exclamations turn to conspiratorial whispers. Erin actually laughs when she glances into the rear view mirror to see how Jensen is hunched into Cougar, creating a plan of attack for capturing the pageant from every angle.

Erin shakes her head, thinking about what Jensen will be like when he has kids of his own. It's only a matter of time really. Jake wants babies, and she's pretty sure that Cougar wants them too. It's just a matter of when they finally throw in the towel as far as the Army is concerned and actually adopt, or find a surrogate.

Erin actually turns in her seat to give them the mom speech before they all head in. “Jacob Jensen and, by extension, Carlos Alvarez. There will be absolutely no violence or weapons on the premisses. There will be no arguments with other parents over who's child was the star of the pageant. Beth is obviously the star, but if the others want to delude themselves, it's not our place to fix them. No screaming during performances, no alcohol, not groping each other, no explo—ugh I'm giving you ideas.”

“Jeez Erin, we get it. We'll be on our best behavior,” Jake says, sounding every bit the annoyed teen he hasn't been for almost a decade.

Erin narrows her eyes at him. “You better be,” is all she says before unlocking the doors and stepping out of the car.  
She leads them into the school and stops to introduce them to a few parents and administrators as they go. The principal immediately seems quite taken with Cougar as she insists that they'll find a comfortable chair for him since he's injured.

Erin watches as Cougar works his charms on her. The dog tags, which never make an appearance outside his shirts, are “accidentally” on display beneath his scarf, and Erin narrows her eyes. Jake is completely oblivious as he nearly vibrates with excitement. Erin would be concerned for her brother's heart if they didn't get personally seated in the second row. Erin is just glad that Cougar uses his powers for good, because the man's charm is out of control.

Jensen tinkers with his equipment before the lights dim, but he's up and running by the time the pageant starts. The children begin with 'Winter Wonderland.' The small kids poorly execute the choreography, but it's some of the cutest stuff Erin's seen in a while. A boy and girl walk across the winter wonderland decorated stage, and boys and girls dressed as snowflakes dance and sway around them.

Erin can hear Jake's gasp when Beth dances out onto the stage with the group. She's grateful for the camera in Jake's hand because if he wasn't so focused on keeping it steady, he'd be leaning into the next row to tell the people sitting there all about how awesome his niece, Snowflake #3, is. As it is, she catches the way he grips Cougar's sleeve like he's witnessing something incredible.

That's not to say Erin doesn't think her daughter is the absolute best, because obviously she is. It's just that Jake has always reacted to Beth as though she was his. He'd counted her little toes and stared at her in wonder after Erin had her. He wore her spit up like a badge of honor. He came home with a serious enough injury to get leave when Erin was at her wits end with a colic-y infant, and he'd paced the house with her all night while she cried until they both fell into exhausted sleep.

And here he is watching Beth's first Winter Pageant like a proud dad, multiple types of film equipment and all. Erin has to fight back tears as Beth does her solo spin and shimmy in the center of the stage. Erin actually does shed a tear when Beth sees Jake in the second row and totally breaks character to give him a giant wave before scampering off with the other snowflakes.

Jake, of course, is waving to her like an idiot while Cougar takes over control of the camera. The parents behind them scowl at Jake as the curtain closes. “Erin, did you see her wave to me?” Jake stage whispers to her, and she nods her head. She can only imagine how he'll be when Beth starts playing sports. He'll be cursing out referees and getting into fights with other parents in no time.

Jake gets antsy as the other classes perform, so Cougar takes him out for a break while the fourth graders perform their number. Erin just prays they aren't hooking up in the boys bathroom of her child's school. She thinks that Cougar has more sense than that, but Jake can be persuasive.

When they come back, Jake has a stack of cookies in his hands and a carton of chocolate milk. “Did you raid the cafeteria?” she hisses as he opens the milk wide enough to dunk his cookie. She obviously cannot take him anywhere.

“The nice lady in the cafeteria offered them to us,” Jake shrugs. Erin turns her narrow eyed gaze on Cougar who gives her a smug smile. The man is an absolute menace, and the poor woman manning the refreshments didn't have a chance. She wonders how often Jake reaps the benefits of Cougar's charisma...outside of the bedroom, strictly _outside_ the bedroom. God, she doesn't want to think about how well-fucked her brother probably is in the middle of her daughter's Winter Pageant. It's all Cougar's fault.

At the end of the show, all of the classes come out to do the final number, and there Beth is in the front with all of the other kindergartners. Jake nearly spills his cookies in his excitement to see her on stage again. When they finish the cute number, they all take a bow, and Erin wishes she could pretend not to know her brother. He's out of his seat whistling and making a huge racket.

Cougar, being trained to have Jake's back no matter what, stands up next to him calling Beth's name as well, and Erin can't let them out embarrassing parent her, so she rises to her feet too. Beth eats it up, waving at them with a huge smile. Erin pointedly ignores the dirty looks from the other families. Beth gets to see the man who's been like a father to her very rarely, so if they want to act like fools at the one school production they may ever get to see together, they damn well will.

That is until they are not so politely told to behave like adults by the school secretary. Cougar gives her the most unimpressed look Erin has ever seen him use on a civilian, but the woman must be used to irate parents because she doesn't even waver. Jake quiets and goes in search of the cookie he may have flung in his excitement. An elderly woman in the next row hands it back to him, and Erin snaps a picture of Jake's blush.

Beth doesn't seem to mind that her family was publicly scolded when she comes down to them still dressed like a giant snowflake. Jake lifts her over his head and spins her around, and Cougar wraps his arm around Erin while she gets emotional.

Erin and Cougar make sure to snap as many pictures of Jake letting Beth ride on his shoulders out to the van as possible. And they get several with all four of them when another mom takes pity on them and offers to take one for them. Over all, it's a wonderful day.

 


	21. Sledding

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jensen insists that Cougar come sledding with him and his niece.

Cougar wakes to the sound of two sets of socked feet pattering down the hall, one set much heavier than the other. Then he hears Jake's patter come back and burst into his bedroom. “Coug, get up we're going sledding!” Jake says as he grabs his boots which he left in here last night before sneaking off to read his niece another Christmas story.

“Not sledding,” Cougar says as he rolls over to try to relieve the pressure on his healing shoulder.

“Blasphemy!”

“Jacob Jensen, I swear if you try to make Cougar go sledding with broken ribs, I will skin you and cook you for Christmas dinner,” Erin calls down the hall.

Cougar chuckles. The woman either has supernatural hearing, or a sixth sense for when Jake's about to do something stupid. Jake doesn't respond to his sister, but Cougar feels the bed dip as Jake crawls over it.

“Coug?” he asks softly, carefully climbing over the lump of blankets that is Cougar, so he doesn't aggravate one of his injuries.

“Jensen,” Cougar returns from beneath the covers. It allows Jake to pinpoint his face and tug the covers back just enough to meet Cougar's eyes.

“Hey there, Mr. Grumpy Pants,” Jake smiles down at him. His hair is flat on one side from sleeping on it and sticking up on the other. He looks like an oversized child with his big glasses and lopsided smile. Cougar grunts at him, but it's one of his indulgent grunts, and Jake understands it and grins wider.

“Please come and watch Bethy and me kick some serious sledding ass,” Jake implores, using his biggest, most innocent eyes.

“Will go when Erin does,” Cougar concedes, but he is not trudging a mile down the road through the snow while recovering for the second time in less than a week. Cougar may have incredible pain tolerance, but he isn't a masochist.

Jensen pouts just enough to keep up appearances, but he quickly leans down to peck Cougar's lips, morning breath be damned. “It's gonna be great. I'm gonna show her how to go off jumps...”

“Jacob, she is six years old,” Cougar chides softly.

“So? I was doing this stuff at that age,” Jake sounds confused. Cougar sighs. No one ever accused Cougar of being the voice of reason when it came to dangerous behavior, but that doesn't mean he doesn't recognize danger for what it is.

“That is because your parents left you to your own devices. Do you want Beth to look like me for Christmas?” Cougar asks softly, following the question with another tiny kiss to Jake's scruffy jaw.

“Of course not!” Jake sounds absolutely scandalized at even the thought of that.

“Perhaps stay away from the jumps then. She is not special forces yet,” Cougar suggests, rolling onto his back to let Jake straddle his hips. When Jake is comfortably in position, Cougar snakes his good arm out of the covers and tugs gently at Jake's goatee.

Jake makes a face at him and slaps the hand away. “Fine,” he says in a long winded sigh. “But you need to come supervise to make sure I don't do anything dangerous to our precious cargo,” Jake wheedles, and Cougar rolls his eyes.

In an unexpected move, Cougar flips their positions. Cougar smirks down at Jensen who lies on his back wide eyed and—judging by the flush he's getting—more than a little turned on. Cougar pushes himself off the bed and walks to his duffel, grabbing a shirt, and pulling it over his head, expertly hiding the way his ribs and shoulder ache.

“Go make sure that Beth is bundled up,” Cougar orders as Jake scrambles out of the bed.

“Yessir, Sergeant Cougar, sir!” Jake says with a jaunty salute, and Cougar growls and he catches Jake around the waist as he tries to beat a hasty retreat. Jake immediately goes boneless, so as not to further hurt Cougar's ribs, because it's just natural to accommodate each others injuries. Cougar reels him in, pulling Jake's back to his chest. He buries his face in Jake's exposed neck, nibbling and roughing it up with his stubble.

“Cougar, be gentle!” Jake cries as Cougar lightly bites his neck with a playful growl.

Beth patters into the room, skidding to a stop and freezing as she watches Jake flail around as though he's being mauled. “Run Bethy! Save yourself!” he cries as Cougar continues to bite his neck and tickle his belly.

“Uncle Cougar, let him go,” Beth insists as she grabs Jake's waving arm to pull him away. “Who's going to take me sleigh riding if you eat Uncle Jake?” she asks putting her big, innocent eyes to good use.

“Yeah Cougar, who's going to be the most awesome uncle ever and take Beth sledding if you're a big Grinch and eat me?” Jake taunts, though he is in no position to. Cougar shows him this by increasing the pressure on his neck and doubling his tickling efforts. Jake makes a very embarrassing noise before Cougar finally pulls back, giving him a very smug, very knowing look.

“Your Uncle Cougar is a monster,” Jake tells his niece as he staggers away. Cougar gives them both a toothy grin, and Beth giggles.

“He gave you a hickey,” Beth laughs pointing at Jake's neck.

Jake grabs his neck and makes a squawk. “How do you know what a hickey is?”

“Mommy told me what it was because your neck is always purple. I thought you had spots, but now I know you just have cooties,” she says. Jake squawks again and glares at Cougar.

“This is your fault. Don't think I'll forget this. Come on, Beth,” he says, taking her hand and leading her out of the room. He grumbles about spots the entire way. Cougar snorts as he wraps a colorful scarf around his neck.

\---

Erin, being the saint she is, drives Cougar over to the hill where Jake takes Beth sledding. “Don't let him taunt you into sledding. He is a menace. He got me to go off a jump larger than I was when I was twelve and he was eight, and I broke my arm. Bastard landed the jump like it wasn't a problem. I swear he has a very creative little devil sitting on his shoulder,” she says as she pulls to the side of the road.

There are a bunch of children and parents milling about. Cougar doesn't see Jake and Beth right away, but they're probably at the top of the hill.

“I will make sure he does not get Beth into trouble,” Cougar promises, but Erin waves it off. "He's a flake, but he won't put her in danger. If he sends her off any jumps, he'll be on that thing with her,” Erin says. “Be good and keep them here as long as you can. I've got presents to wrap,” she orders before leaning in and giving Cougar a kiss on the cheek.

Cougar slides out of the minivan, cringing at the thick snow beneath his feet. He refuses to wear a plastic bag over the boot, so his toes are going to get wet and numb sooner than he'd like—which would honestly be never—but he trudges toward the bottom of the hill to watch the show anyway.

He spots Jake's bright orange, puff jacket at the top of the hill, and hears some ridiculous battle cry before Jake and Beth are barreling down the packed slope on a tiny sled. It's comical to see all six feet of Jake huddled onto the sled around Beth's small body. It's truly a wonder that they fit. Cougar cringes as Jake narrowly keeps them from tipping over on a small bend, but they make it to the bottom in one piece. Beth and Jake whoop and holler as they stand up.

Cougar smiles and waves at them, so they know he's there. Beth runs over to ask if he saw their awesome ride, and Cougar assures her that he hasn't missed a thing. He sits on the fence surrounding the bottom of the hill, balancing carefully as he watches Jake teach Beth how to steer. The first time he leaves her in charge of steering they flip, Jake creating a cocoon around his niece as they tumble away. Cougar almost falls off the fence watching them, hoping they're both okay. Beth comes up cheering, while Jake lies on his back catching his breath.

Jake doesn't let her steer again, and Cougar assumes Jake's going to spend the afternoon scrutinizing his beard for gray hairs. Beth seems to lose steam after about the fourth trip down the long hill, so Jake ends up carrying her on his back and their sled under his arm up the hill. Cougar smirks at how the constantly energetic tech has to stop for a breather two thirds of the way up the hill. Perhaps Jake needs a child to soak up all of his excess energy. Cougar quickly puts that thought aside.

By lunch time, Cougar gets the call from Erin saying it's safe to come back to the house. It actually reads _the elves are in the wind,_ but he gets the idea. He waves Jake over after their next ride. Jake is huffing and puffing from carrying Beth up the hill after every ride. The other parents keep giving him dirty looks because their own children are demanding piggy back rides because of him. Unfortunately, their parents aren't spec ops soldiers.

“We can't go yet! Uncle Jake hasn't taught me how to jump my sled yet,” Beth insists, and Jake's eyes are the size of saucers as he looks up at Cougar.

Cougar gives him a classic _see what you've done_ look, and Jake practically whimpers.

“Mija, my arm is very sore, but I promise I will play dolls with you if you take me home now,” Cougar bargains, and Jake looks at him in awe as Beth ponders for a moment and then agrees.

“You just used your injuries to manipulate my niece,” Jake whispers as they walk toward where Erin is pulling up in the car. Cougar nods and shrugs. “Don't think you're off the hook for her thinking I have cooties just because you got me out of carrying her up that hill again,” he says.

Cougar snorts, pulls Jake in, and bites his neck with lethal speed. Jake yelps even though Cougar barely applies any pressure, and he runs off toward the van.

“Uncle Cougar, why do you bite Uncle Jake?” Beth asks, slipping her mitten covered hand through his.

Cougar looks down at her very solemnly. “It is how us cougars show affection,” he says squeezing the little pompom on her hat.

“So you like Uncle Jake a lot?” she asks, looking up at him though her hat gets in her eyes.

“Sí, very much,” Cougar assures her.

“Good,” she says with a firm nod as they walk together to the van, where Erin is arguing with Jake about getting her seats wet.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Only a couple days left! Who will spend their holiday with Jake and Cougar? What will everyone get for Christmas? Will Erin attempt to strangle her brother before the holiday is over? All of that to come in the last few chapters.
> 
> I'm actually really astonished I've made it this far. When I considered doing this, I was thinking a couple hundred word fic per day, and oops more like a couple thousand.


	22. Midnight Mass

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cougar goes to midnight mass and tries to explain faith to Jensen.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is pretty religious/faithful if you aren't really into reading about that. It's more Cougar's take on faith rather than the church's, but I realize some people may not feel like reading about that, so here is your warning.
> 
> Next chapter will be up in a few hours or when I finish editing it.

Erin appoints Jake “Santa's Head Elf” when he sneaks Beth several candy canes just before bedtime, and the young girl is running around like, well, a mini Jake when her mother tries to get her ready for bed. Jake thinks it's the greatest honor in the world even when Erin tells him, “Congratulations, you're now Santa's Head Elf. You broke my daughter, so you can fix this.”

Cougar laughs as Jake chases Beth around for another twenty minutes, singing Christmas carols before she crashes from her sugar high. Jake snatches her off the back of the sofa as they finish singing “Frosty the Snowman.” Beth giggles as he dances her around the tree singing some nonsense song that he's pulling out of his ass as he goes.

Cougar gives Beth a soft kiss on the head as they waltz past him toward the staircase. “Uncle Cougar, will you make sure that Santa gets the cookies I made him, and that the reindeer get their carrots?” she asks him.

Cougar nods seriously, and she pulls him in for another wet smack on the cheek. “Your face is getting fuzzy,” she tells him, patting at the patchy beard he hasn't really bothered to maintain the last couple of days. Every time he's tried to take more than a minute long shower, Jake starts banging on the door telling him to hurry up for the next activity he has planned for Beth.

Cougar just shrugs at her as she pulls gently at his face.

“Come on Bethy. Leave Cougar's whiskers alone. He needs those to sense prey,” Jake laughs, and it makes Beth giggle. It's more that he needs them to give Jake beard burn all over his neck.

“Sweet dreams, Mija,” Cougar tells her as Jake carries her away.

Cougar ends up shaving while Jake puts her down with another emotive reading of _The Night Before Christmas_. Cougar goes back to his room and gets ready for mass, assuming that Jake will be sleeping curled up with his niece until about three in the morning when he sneaks down to put out gifts.

It's not something Cougar asks him to do. Jensen never really needs to be asked to know what Cougar wants, but it comes as a pleasant surprise anyway when Cougar sneaks down for midnight mass to find Jensen waiting at the foot of the stairs in a suit.

Carlos cocks his head in question as he accepts his coat from Jensen. Even he's not dressed as nicely as Jake. He's wearing his cleanest jeans and a sweater, but Jake's gone all out.

“Not gonna make you go alone, Coug,” Jake says with a small smile. He looks uncomfortable in the suit, his tinted glasses traded for a respectable pair of black rimmed lenses.

“You do not believe,” Cougar says as though that is reason enough to stay home and put out Beth's gifts instead.

“But you do, and nobody should be alone on Christmas,” Jake says, tugging on his own coat. This one is long black wool instead of the orange puffy thing he takes Beth out in. His words speak of the holidays Jake missed as a child, his parents too occupied with arguing about the food or who did or didn't trim the tree to pay much mind to their children.

Carlos nods, smiling appreciatively at Jensen. Jake just waves him off and tosses over the keys to Erin's car. It's snowing lightly as Carlos carefully navigates the sleepy streets toward the church he's attended the last three Christmases that he's spent with Jake. It's not easy with the boot, and is probably very frowned upon, but he once drove them out of hostile territory with a severe concussion and a gut wound because Pooch had been knocked unconscious. He thinks he can handle suburbia in the middle of the night.

Jake's actually quiet as they drive. He looks nervous as Carlos glances over at him, so Carlos takes his right hand off the wheel and reaches over to take Jay's hand in his. Jake takes it for a question.

“About 80% of my personality goes against the Church,” he mumbles. Cougar's never heard Jake sound uncertain about who he is before. It rankles.

“You can be a good man without the approval of the Church,” Cougar says softly, squeezing Jake's hand.

“I kill people, and I steal, and I've been fucking a dude for about a year now. Not very holy.”

“Good men are not exempt from doing bad things, Jensen, and the Church has no right to dictate who you sleep with.”

“Word on the street is they definitely think they have that right.”

“God is the only one who may judge.”

“Why do you go if you disagree with them?” Jake asks, looking over at him. He doesn't look like the Jake that Cougar knows. His neat hair, conservative glasses, and sharp clothes clash with the man that woke Cougar at four this morning wearing nothing but a Santa hat and demanded thorough and exhausting sex while no one was awake to be scarred for life. Cougar doesn't like it. He doesn't want Jake to feel like he can't be himself, especially if it's something about Cougar that makes him feel this way.

“Take those off,” he orders, reaching into his coat pocket to retrieve Jake's spare glasses which he always has on his person. Jake has a tendency to forget them until his regular pair gets smashed at the most inopportune moments.

“Huh?” he asks even as he removes the glasses.

Cougar takes a deep breath and finds the store of words he hasn't used all year and muddles through them for a way to make Jake understand _his_ faith. “You will always love Beth no matter what, sí?” he starts.

“Of course, you _know_ that,” Jake insists.

“If she loved women instead of men?”

Jake nods.

“If she made mistakes that angered you?”

He nods again.

“If she told you she didn't love you?”

Another nod.

“If there were things about herself that even she couldn't love?” Cougar asks, still holding firmly to Jake's hand, not wanting him to think this is an attack.

“Yes, I'd still love her no matter what, Coug. What's this got to do with church?” Jake asks, sounding annoyed. Cougar strokes his thumb over Jake's pulse.

“Faith is finding your worth even when you do things that perhaps you are ashamed of or the world does not approve of. Jesus was the son of a carpenter and born in a manger beside farm animals. His followers were the outcasts of society. He pardoned sinners. He loved God's children as you do your niece. Faith is love even when you do not believe you deserve it. Going to mass is going home, where all that you have done wrong does not change that you belong,” Cougar says as he parks the minivan down the street from the church. “Perhaps what we do will lead us to damnation, but faith is believing that though we have set ourselves on this path, we still deserve love.”

He watches as Jake looks out the window, watching the people scurry toward the lit church to get in from the cold. “All that stuff you just said doesn't sound anything like religion did when I was growing up,” Jake mumbles, staring at the church.

“Faith is not stone. It is many things to many people. A church, a true temple of God is just a house where those of faith can gather. It should not matter what the building looks like or is called be it church, synagogue, mosque. It should not be an imposing force. You go to church because you are faithful, but if you cannot find faith outside those walls or spread love outside those walls, then they are just walls keeping the wind out,” Cougar says, pulling Jake's hand into his lap.

“You do not need to change who you are to be loved by God. You do not even need to believe. You are welcome and loved no matter what. You do not need to have faith in God to have faith. You have faith every time you go into an op and trust that no matter how much you have angered Roque or Clay this week, they will have your back, that I will have eyes on you when you need me, that Pooch will find a way to get us out.” Cougar is quiet while Jake mulls it over. “You spread faith when you visit those children in the hospital or send gifts and cards to those with little. You give them hope, something to believe in.”

He can feel the words and questions bouncing around under Jake's skin, but Jake settles on a single question. “If you can have this anywhere, then why come here?”

Cougar is quiet for a while. It is easier to explain his faith to Jensen than it is to explain his waning connection to his past. The team knows Cougar as a rock, an island, without roots or desire for them. However, though Cougar has rarely shown them, his roots run deep and hold him steady even in the most trying times. Though the longer he stays with the team, the harder it is to remember the man he was.

“I go to remember I am worth loving, that those who loved me dearly brought me here so even when they left me I might still know the warmth of unconditional love. I go to pray for those who are gone now whether by my rifle or naturally that they have found peace,” Cougar finishes. It isn't it exactly, but it is enough truth for Jake to understand.

“Oh,” Jake says, and it sounds so small coming from him. “That sounds kind of pleasant actually,” he gives Cougar an uncertain smile, and Cougar brings his hand to his lips for a kiss. “I think we're late,” he says as a bell tolls.

“We will be forgiven,” Cougar smiles and opens his door. Jake follows him out of the car quietly, and stays a step behind him as they walk up the sidewalk and front stairs of the church.

It's warm inside and the building is decorated with poinsettias and wreaths. Soft candle light illuminates the church as Cougar leads Jake to a seat in the last few rows. The other people in the row look just as ordinary as they do, and Cougar recognizes the man at the far end of the pew as one he's seen here before.

Cougar can tell that Jake is itching to talk even as the accompanist plays Christmas carols for the congregation to join in. Jake settles once the mass begins, and Cougar can begin to let go and just experience the memories that come back to him every midnight mass.

He remembers clinging to his mother's skirt as she led him and his sisters up to the church. Their father walked behind them herding the stragglers, but Carlos was always at his mother's heels. He remembers the lively singing and the nice people that seemed to think his shy nature was endearing. His mother always sang loudly even though she did not have a great voice. She told him that God hears sincerity not the quality of one's voice.

When Cougar comes back to himself, he finds Jake making faces at a little boy several rows up. The boy seems completely mesmerized by Jake's endless ridiculous expressions, and Jake seems happy as can be to entertain the young child.

Jensen hangs back while Cougar goes up to receive communion, but when he gets back to his seat Jake is missing. Cougar won't admit it, but it stings that he couldn't wait the last few minutes and had to escape back to the car already. He'd wanted to light a candle for his mother, but he figures he shouldn't keep Jensen waiting.

Just as Cougar is considering slipping away before communion finishes, he spots Jake coming down the side aisle with an elderly woman clinging to the crook of his arm. They're holding the line up with how slow her progress is, but Jake doesn't seem to give a damn as he leans over to listen to whatever the woman is saying to him. Cougar feels something in his chest seize. He scoots further down the pew to make room for Jake and his new friend, and they slowly join him.

“Coug, this is Miriam,” Jake whispers as he sits beside his lover again. “She's got a tricky hip, so I told her I'd help her get the Jesus waffle,” he explains. Cougar suppresses an eye roll and leans over Jake to take Miriam's wrinkled hand. He brings it to his lips and places a soft kiss to the weathered knuckles, and Miriam titters happily.

“Nice to meet you, Miriam.”

“I assure you the pleasure it all mine. Your young man is such a delight, and _so_ strong,” she replies, and Cougar can see the mischievous fire in her eye. Jake certainly knows how to find his own kind.

When mass ends, Miriam also wishes to light a candle, so they each take one of her arms and guide her there. Jake talks softly with her as Cougar kneels and says a soft Spanish prayer before lighting one for his mother. He doesn't jump when he feels Jake's hand on his shoulder, but it's something he didn't expect.

He isn't even really aware of it as he reaches up to squeeze Jake's hand before he pushes himself off his knees and turns to his companions. Miriam accepts his arm without saying a word about the glassy look in his eye, and she chats happily with Jake about her cat Parsnip as they walk her to her house just down the block.

When they get to her door, she insists that they come in for a cocoa for their trouble, and Cougar can just see how Jake's found his new best friend, so he accepts the offer politely. Parsnip seems less than thrilled that Miriam is fussing over something other than himself, but he eases his glare when Cougar rubs his head. Cougar also isn't blind to the jigger of scotch she slips into each of their drinks. That'll certainly warm the soul, he thinks as Jake happily tells Miriam all about his niece.

When Jake is done offering to come shovel the snow if they get any before he leaves again, Cougar says they should let Miriam get some sleep. Jake excuses himself to the bathroom while Cougar pulls on his coat.

Miriam looks at him with shrewd eyes. “You take care of your young man, you hear?” she says.

“Yes.”

“Good. He's a good man, and the world doesn't have enough of those.”

“No, it does not,” he agrees, carrying their cups to her kitchen to save her the trouble.

When they get back to the van, Jake seems more sure of himself again. He's bouncing slightly as Cougar starts the car. “That wasn't so bad. Miriam was nice. Parsnip didn't like me much, but I don't trust cats, current company excluded,” Jake rambles, and Cougar catches his hand again. He listens to Jake's happy chatter all the way home, wondering how Jake doesn't see the good he does in the world when it's abundantly clear to those around him.

 


	23. I Saw Cougar Kissing Santa Claus

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jensen takes his job of putting out gifts very seriously...sorta.

Jensen takes his appointed position of Santa's Head Elf very seriously. As soon as he and Cougar get home from mass, he's off to where he left his Santa suit then stops where Erin said she'd leave the presents hiding. Of course, she only told him this as she went to bed that night, because as she told Cougar, she doesn't trust Jake not to peek at his own gifts. Cougar realizes just how serious she was when Jake curses softly.

“She used duct take on only my gifts,” he grumbles as he pulls the giant bag into the living room where the tree is set up.

Cougar just raises an eyebrow, and Jake heaves a sigh. “I can't covertly untape and peek inside with duct tape. I have to wait until we unwrap tomorrow,” he explains and Cougar snorts. “It's not funny, Coug. How am I supposed to know what she got me if I don't peek?”

Cougar gives him a droll look. “What do you mean wait until tomorrow? That's like...” he looks down at his watch, “...eight hours from now.” Cougar just shakes his head and starts placing boxes around the tree.

Every time, Jake starts to shake a gift or lift the tape, Cougar swats him on the ass and shakes his head.

“Who was appointed Santa's #1 Elf, you or me?” Jake asks pointing to the badge he made for his suit. Cougar snorts and arranges some more presents. “Don't act all superior. I know you sneak peeks at everyone's gifts at the house. How else would you know what Clay buys Roque every year?”

Cougar rolls his eyes, not revealing that everyone buys what Cougar tells them to. Jensen wouldn't believe him anyway. Instead, Cougar hands over one of Beth's boxes for Jake to arrange.

“You know what this needs?” Jake asks after a record breaking minute of silence. Cougar just shrugs. “This calls for some music,” he says as he sifts through his phone to find the perfect song. Soon, Bing Crosby's voice croons out of the small speaker.

Cougar smiles as Jake immediately starts to dance around the room, placing the presents around with a flourish. “Come on Coug, you're an honorary elf too. Put a little spirit into it,” Jake says as he grabs Cougar's uninjured arm and attempts to pull him to his feet. Cougar doesn't budge, and Jake pouts.

“Come on, dance with me. Just one song. No one's even awake to see it,” Jake pleads, kneeling in front of Cougar in his completely unnecessary Santa suit. Cougar sighs.

“I don't dance,” he says, but he knows that won't deter Jake.

“You dance way better than me, so you have no excuse. Let's go. Bing ain't singin' for his health,” Jake says, pulling Cougar's arm again. This time, Cougar goes with him and lets Jake drag him away from the piles of presents they're still setting out neatly—well, Cougar is setting out neatly.

Cougar lets Jake carefully wrap his arm almost protectively around his injured shoulder. It's barely a ghost of a touch, but it feels very intimate. Cougar places his injured arm at Jake's narrow waist, having ditched the sling after he'd arrived at Erin's. They hold each others other hand, and Cougar lets Jake take the lead. He's the one that wants this after all. Cougar does too, but he'll never admit it to a living soul. Perhaps he will tell his mother when he meets her again in Heaven, but no one down here.

Jake leads them in a tight circle just taking slow steps as they sway together. It's nothing more than you'd find at a middle school dance as far as execution is concerned, but it's closer than they ever get to be around anyone or even alone for that matter. When they aren't in bed together, they rarely get to indulge in this sort of intimacy with each other. Sure, they basically speak their own language, and they can communicate so much with little more than a brush of fingers, but that is all necessary to what they do. This is purely indulging their softer sides.

“Thanks for coming home with me,” Jake says as they continue to dance to the song.

“Thank you for coming to mass,” Cougar counters, but Jake just shakes his head.

“It was important to you.”

“Sí.”

“Because of your mom?” Cougar thinks maybe Jake understood more of what he was saying in the car than he imagined his words did service to.

“Sí y no.”

“Real helpful there, Coug,” Jake laughs softly, turning his face just enough to kiss Cougar's jaw softly. Cougar shrugs instead of explaining. He can't really put into words the feeling he gets at midnight mass. It quiets the nightmare in his brain. It reminds him of the hope and awe he felt in his youth when his family would wake him to bring him to the late mass. It reminds him of the pleasant fullness he would feel afterward when they'd come home to the feast his grandmother cooked for them. If there was a place or time that captured all of the good of his youth, it was midnight mass.

“That's okay, I guess. It wasn't so bad. They didn't even tell me I'm going to hell for being being an insubordinate bisexual special forces soldier. I mean, that's a plus in my book, and Miriam makes some really tasty cocoa,” Jake rambles, and Cougar cuts him off with a kiss.

“Do not think low of yourself. Never let anyone make you feel unworthy,” he says firmly, pressing another kiss to Jake's slightly parted lips.

“You know I love you, right?” Jake asks suddenly, as though he just couldn't hold it in anymore.

“Sí,” Cougar smirks, and he's not disappointed at all when Jake huffs exaggeratedly.

“Jeez, Coug. A guy pours his soul out, and all he gets is a sí. Not even a yes. You cheated me out of a letter and everything. See if I get you a prese—”

Cougar cuts him off with a long, passionate kiss, backing Jake up into the doorway of the living room. He doesn't let Jake retreat until he's gasping for air, and even then Cougar leans in and kisses at Jake's neck.

“Hey, look we're under the mistletoe,” Jake says dazedly just before a slow moan slips out of his mouth. Finally, when Jake is shaking in Cougar's hold, Cougar pulls away and looks him dead in the eye.

“I love you too, with my entire heart,” he says seriously, and he's met with a gasp. Had he not been so keenly watching Jake, he'd have thought it came from him, but he knows all of Jake's gasps, and this was not one of them. Cougar whirls to look at the stairs, just in time to see tiny slippered feet disappear up the stairs.

“Seems we have a spy,” Jake says, but then he looks back at Cougar and seems to melt. “You certain, Carlos?” he asks, reaching forward to play with his scarf. “I mean, I know we've said it before, but I'm just always afraid...”

“ _Yes_.” Cougar insists.

“Wow, I um...I might need to sit down a minute. That's...that's wow,” Jake mumbles, gripping Cougar's good arm like he might float away otherwise. Cougar reaches up and rests his hand over Jensen's, intertwining their fingers. Then he pulls Jake back into the room to continue dancing.

Cougar takes the lead this time because Jake's body seems to have cut off communication with his feet in an attempt to preserve his brain which seems to be overheating from tonight's revelations. Jake just rests his head on Cougar's uninjured shoulder and hums softly as they shuffle around the room. The Christmas tree lights illuminates their path as they avoid the gifts still scattered about.


	24. Christmas: Part I

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Beth and Jake wake up early to open gifts.

Cougar gets about an hour of sleep before he hears the patter of tiny feet outside his room. Jake is fast asleep beside him, sprawled out and snoring softly. Cougar's surprised he's still asleep, but he shouldn't be after the marathon of athletic sex they had once they finished with the presents and Jake checked on Beth. Cougar's ribs ache this morning, but it's worth it. Watching Jensen fall apart beneath him is always worth it.

Cougar glances at the clock only to find it covered by Jake's snowman boxers. Cougar gingerly reaches over to knock them away. It's only five-thirty, but he knows the excitement won't allow Beth to fall back to asleep. So, he isn't surprised when a soft knock sounds on his door a few minutes later. Cougar pulls on his sweatpants and one of Jake's t-shirts and pads to the door.

Beth looks unsure as she looks up at him. “Do you know where Uncle Jake is?” she asks softly as though he might bite. Cougar's confused by her sudden timidity, but he smiles at her and lets the door swing open further to reveal the lump that is her uncle.

“Why don't you go pounce him awake?” Cougar suggests, looking over his shoulder fondly. Jake will love this, once he's done being a grump about it. Beth looks unsure at first, but she tentatively tiptoes over to the bed Cougar and Jensen share.

When Beth gets about three feet from the bed, her demeanor changes, and she makes a running leap onto the covers. “Uncle Jake, Uncle Jake! It's Christmas! Santa came and brought me presents!” she says excitedly, bouncing around, no doubt elbowing Jensen in sensitive places.

Thankfully, Jake had had to pee after their activities and pulled on a pair of pajama pants, because he's up like a shot and wrapping his arms around his niece. “Whoa Bethy, watch the bows. Those things are like daggers,” he says, throwing a glare at Cougar who still leans against the doorway.

“But Uncle Jake, _presents_ ,” Beth says, and Jake nods.

“Yes, let's go wake your mom. Presents await!” Jake agrees slipping out of the covers and lifting Beth into his arms.

Cougar smiles at them as they leave his room, but instead of following them he shuts the door and slinks back to bed. They'll likely both be back soon since Erin will put an end to their fun.

Cougar is just starting to drift off again when he hears Jake and Beth yelling about the unfairness of having to wait until 8am for presents. Erin counters by pushing present time back to 9am. Cougar laughs before he falls back to sleep.

Jake wakes him again around 8:45. He crawls into bed and kisses Cougar awake. “Come on, Coug, it's present time,” Jake goads softly. He massages Cougar's injured shoulder gently, careful of the still healing wound there. Cougar doesn't even bother to suppress the groan he makes. “I'll give you more back rubs if you come down and open presents with us,” he bargains.

Cougar doesn't say anything, but when Jake finishes his massage, Cougar rolls and gives his a slow kiss before getting out of bed. “It's gonna be great. Beth's going to go nuts when she sees what we got her,” Jake rambles as he pulls on the shirt that Cougar pushes into his hands.

“Feliz Navidad,” Cougar says softly, pulling Jake into his arms and kissing him, slowly coaxing his lips apart to deepen the kiss. Jake complies wholeheartedly, but pulls away as soon as Cougar palms his ass.

“Oh no you don't! No sexy time till we open presents. What if someone gets us a fun sex toy or something, we'll miss out on christening it if we do it now,” Jake says dancing out of Cougar's arms but grabbing his hand to pull him out of the room.

“Who would buy us sex toys?” Cougar asks, and Jake just shrugs.

“I don't know about you, Coug, but I've been very good this year, and Santa doesn't overlook that sort of thing.” Cougar snorts and swats his ass, but doesn't make any comments.

When they get downstairs, Erin is basically cradling a very large mug of coffee while Beth divvies up the gifts. “Coffee's in the pot,” Erin says, and Cougar nods appreciatively before heading to the kitchen. Jake is sitting with Beth holding his first gift when Cougar gets back with a mug the size of Erin's.

“Okay, let the unwrapping commence!” Jake says excitedly as he and Beth tear into their first presents. The paper is shredded in seconds and stereo oos and ahs fill the room as they examine their gifts.

Erin shakes her head at Cougar and holds out a small box to him. “Gracias,” Cougar nods, neatly unwrapping the package. Inside, there is a picture frame with the photo Erin snapped of them several days earlier. Cougar, Jake, and Beth curled together on the bed with Jake forming a protective cocoon around his niece while still clinging to Cougar. It's a sweet picture, and Jake will definitely want to hang it in their room. “Thank you. It is a very thoughtful gift,” he says giving Erin a one-armed hug, so as not to disturb either of their mugs.

Erin waves him off. “You three are so cute together. I couldn't resist,” she says. They both smile and look over at their loved ones.

Beth and Jake are tearing through gifts as though if they don't open them right this moment they'll be taken right back to the North Pole. Beth has several dolls beside her and a pair of footie pajamas.

“Oh my god!”

Cougar turns his attention to Jake, who is holding up a giant footie onsie like it's the greatest thing he's ever seen. “Erin, how did you know?” Jake asks as he cuddles the fuzzy fabric to his face.

“I didn't get you that,” she says with a laugh.

“Bethy?”

Beth shakes her head, looking at the onsie like it makes no sense.

“Coug?” Jake asks, but he sounds very skeptical.

Cougar just smirks at him.

“You bought me an ewok onsie?” Jake asks in disbelief. “You do love me!” he nearly shouts as he jumps to his feet and dashes over to plant a wet kiss on Cougar's lips.

“Keep it PG,” Erin complains, throwing a pillow at Jake when he gets a little overexcited.

Jake pulls away, looking sheepish, and Cougar can't help but notice the little scowl that Beth is wearing as she watches them. She's never seemed uncomfortable around them in the past, but now he worries that maybe she resents their relationship, though he's never tried to take away from Jake's time with her. Perhaps she sees him as the reason Jake is never home instead of his military commitment.

Jake is oblivious as he tugs his gift on over his other pajamas. He looks absolutely ridiculous in the fuzzy brown onsie complete with hood and cute little ears. “Wait, you need to open one of my gifts,” Jake insists as he pulls a big box out from under the tree. It's very light when Jake hands it over, and Cougar eyes it suspiciously at first, but slowly peels away the tape holding the poor wrapping job together.

Jake is bouncing from foot to foot as Cougar pulls the paper away to reveal a very boring white box. “Go on, open it,” Jake urges, and Cougar begins to lift the lid, but Jake puts his hand on top of it. “Wait. It's okay if you don't like it. You can always pick your own, but in the meantime I just thought, um, maybe this one would be okay. uh...” Jake suddenly sounds nervous instead of excited, but Cougar ducks his head to kiss Jake's hand which still rests on the box in his lap.

“Whatever it is, I will love it,” Cougar says, pulling the box open as Jake eases up his hold. Inside is a black leather cowboy hat. Cougar looks at it for a second, blinking once then again. He can feel Jake's eyes boring into him, but he takes his moment to really look at the gift anyway.

“It's okay if you don—”

Cougar doesn't wait for Jensen to finish speaking before he lifts the hat out of the box with the utmost care and twirls it to place it on the crown of his head. It fits perfectly. It's snug enough that it won't fall off when he wears it, but it's not squeezing his skull for dear life. It feels perfect. It feels like a small part of him that's been missing since the accident is slotted back into place, and Cougar isn't sure it's the hat so much as Jake going out of his way to find a replacement for one of his most cherished items. It's not the same as the one he had, and he probably won't wear it in the field, but he'll wear it stateside. That's for sure, and maybe he and Jake can find one for missions. However, this one came from Jake, and that makes it something special.

“Gracias,” Cougar says quietly, looking up so that Jake can see the sincerity in his eyes instead of just the brim of the hat.

“De nada, man,” Jake says with a dopey grin. Cougar stands and plucks the hat off his head and drops it onto Jake's, and Jake looks like he just got a brand new computer for Christmas. “You're letting me wear the hat?”

“Sí.”

Before Jake can start any sort of victory dance, Beth rushes forward. “No!” she cries as she punches Cougar in the ribs with her tiny fists. Cougar may be a trained soldier, but he goes down like a bag of brick as she connects with his broken ribs. “You don't deserve presents!” she continues to shout even as Erin scoops her up as fast as she can, and Jake drops to his knees to check Cougar, who's curling in on himself to protect his injuries.

“Beth, what's gotten into you? That's not acceptable,” Erin scolds her daughter, and Cougar can hear the worry in her voice, but all of his training won't let him pull out of this position until the threat is gone. He sees Jake curling over him to try to get a look at his face, and he forces himself to look up at him.

“Stay away from him, Uncle Jake. He's a liar,” Beth cries as Jake squeezes Cougar's shoulder.

“Beth!”

“He is. He said he likes Uncle Jake a lot, but I saw him kissing Santa Claus last night!” she continues to shout, but Cougar's more focused on the bright red of Jake's cheeks as he squawks.

“Bethy,” Jake says hesitantly. “You didn't see Cougar kissing Santa Claus...You saw him kissing me,” Jake admits.

“No, it was Santa. He was wearing his suit and—”

“No, Bethy. It was my Helper Elf suit. See Santa's very busy, so sometimes if he has a lot of presents to deliver to all the good little girls and boys in one house, he asks a helper to set them out all nice. So, I was down here setting out all of the gifts, and Cougar came down to help me, and well...um...maybe we got a bit carried away,” Jake explains, rubbing the back of his neck nervously.

Erin is watching them with a bit of a smug smirk on her face, and if Cougar's ribs weren't currently on fire, he too would be smirking.

“Are you sure, Uncle Jake?” she asks, far more skeptical than any six year old has a right to be.

“Positive, Bethy. I'll even go put on my Santa's helper suit if it'll make you feel better,” Jake assures her.

“Oh,” she says, sounding so small, and once again Cougar would get up and pull her into his arms to banish her fears if his ribs weren't on fire.

“Now, don't you owe Uncle Cougar an apology?” Jake asks, and Beth nods meekly.

“I'm sorry I hurt you, Uncle Cougar,” she says, and she sounds on the brink of tears.

“It is okay. I am protective of your uncle as well,” Cougar says through gritted teeth, trying his best to hide the pain he's in.

“Yeah, when you're older, Cougs will tell you all about the time he made a guy dance by shooting near his feet because he fuc—messed with me,” Jake says, and Erin glares at him.

“No, he will not. Beth, go get Cougar some ice, and there will be no more presents for now,” Erin says sternly.

“Yes, momma,” she says, scurrying out of the room.

“Hey, shit, you gonna be okay? I don't think she's strong enough for one of those bad boys to puncture anything important, but I'd like to take a look,” Jake says, focusing his attention down at Cougar.

“I will be fine. Just let them settle down,” Cougar says, uncurling enough to roll onto his back. Jake has his borrowed t-shirt tugged up to his chest instantly and is carefully checking his ribs.

“Can I carry you to the...okay no carrying the injured kitty. Got it,” Jake says when Cougar pins him with a steady glare. “Well, it certainly feels like a Jensen family Christmas now that a fight's broken out,” Jake jokes, and Erin punches him in the shoulder.

“I'm blaming you for this,” she says.

“Why me?”

“Because I can.”

“Hey! I was an innocent bystander. I can't help it if Beth feels the need to defend my honor. Ouch!” he squeaks when she punches him again. “Fine, blame me. Just don't hit me again,” he huffs. Cougar tries to suppress his laugh because it only makes his ribs hurt more, but he smiles up at the siblings.

 


	25. Big Old Family Christmas

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Losers do Christmas.

Cougar helps Erin cook while Jake and Beth clean up and set the table. The team starts arriving a little after noon. Pooch and Jolene arrive first with several trays of food and goodies. Erin opens the door to them, and Jolene gives her a big hug while Pooch slips by carrying all of the food.

Cougar makes space for it in the kitchen. “Merry Christmas, man,” Pooch says as he leans against the counter.

“Merry Christmas,” Cougar returns as he checks the pasta sauce they have cooking on the stove.

“Jake been behaving himself?”

Cougar just raises an eyebrow at him, and Pooch laughs.

“Did he get you that?” he asks pointing at Cougar's new hat. Cougar nods and Pooch smiles. “He's not so bad at picking gifts is he?”

“Better than Clay,” Cougar smirks.

“Dude, a monkey would pick better gifts than Clay.”

Cougar nods as Jolene and Erin enter the kitchen.

“Sorry, Cougar, but the girls are banishing you. We want to gossip about you boys,” Jolene says with a smile, and Cougar just smiles and follows Pooch to the living room.

Beth curls up at his side as soon as he sits on the couch. She's been keeping very close to him since the incident, as though if she doesn't stay by him he might reject her apologies. Cougar just wraps her in his arms and kisses the top of her head as she clings to his shirt.

“Get any good gifts for Christmas, Bethy?” Pooch asks as he sits on the loveseat.

Beth nods at him shyly, but they're interrupted by Jake rushing to the window. “They're here!” he shouts as a big truck with a trailer attached to it pulls into the driveway.

Cougar and Pooch share a look as Jake scoops Beth up into his arms. “So Bethy, as the best uncle in the history of ever, with some pretty decent sidekicks...”

Cougar snorts at Jake's phrasing.

“...As I was saying,” he says giving Cougar a dirty look. “I just want you to remember that I'm the best uncle ever, and you should come outside and see what I got you for Christmas,” Jake says, carrying an excited Beth to the door.

“I'll stall the girls. You keep Jake from getting kicked in the teeth,” Pooch says to Cougar as they both jump off the couches.

Clay and Roque are outside standing beside the truck looking completely worn out.

“Hi Uncle Clay. Hi Uncle Roque. What's in the car?” Beth greets as Jake carries her past them toward the back of the trailer.

“Beth, meet Walter!” Jake says as he opens the back of the trailer to reveal Walter, who looks less than pleased, as always.

“What is it?” Beth asks tilting her head to look at the large creature.

“Walter's a pony,” Jake says, and Cougar and Roque both snort.

“Uncle Jake, that's not a pony,” Beth says, looking up at him with concern in her eyes, like he's gone crazy.

“Okay, he's a mule, but they are very similar. They both have four legs and a tail and like sugar cubes,” Jake lists. “You said you wanted a pony.”

“He's kinda scary,” Beth says as Walter hoofs at the bottom of the trailer.

“Understatement,” Clay mutters, taking a nip from his flask.

“Oh shush. I'll have you know that Walter is a war hero, Bethy. He saved Uncle Roque's life, and if that mission wasn't classified I'd tell you all about his heroics, but you'll just have to take my word for it...”

“Jacob Jensen what the hell is that?” Erin screams as she storms out of the house, Pooch and Jolene hot on her heels.

“Language Erin—”

“Don't you dare language Erin me, you ass. Why the hell is there a pony in my front yard?” she demands as she stands next to Cougar, and Cougar is actually a little worried about the vibrant shade of red she is turning.

“See Beth? Pony.”

“Jake!”

“Beth asked for a pony...”

“Every little girl asks for a pony! That doesn't mean they get one.”

“Yeah, but how many awesome uncles happen to have the opportunity to steal, I mean rescue a mule for their niece three weeks before Christmas?”

“About the same number of uncles that are going to be murdered by their sisters on Christmas,” Erin says, and Cougar is certain she would lunge at Jake if he wasn't holding Beth.

“Mom, you're scaring Walter,” Beth says, and everyone looks over at the mule which is hoofing at the trailer even harder.

“Yeah, Erin. You're—meep!”

“I'm going to kill you,” she says as she lunges for him anyway. Roque grabs Beth as Jake sprints past them with Erin hot on his heels. Cougar goes to Walter covering the mule's eyes with one of his bandanas as he speaks softly to the creature. He strokes down the mule's neck soothingly.

Jake and Erin pass the back of the trailer several times as she chases him down, and Cougar hears Jake shriek as she takes him to the ground.

“Cougar, help!” Jake cries. “Oh god, not the hair! Oof...not the gut either,” he wheezes.

“How am I supposed to feed a donkey?”

“Mule.”

“Whatever!”

“Ouch! I got him boarded at a farm not...ouch...far from here...eek. I need that!” he hisses.

Cougar laughs. “Your owner is an idiot,” he tells Walter. The mule seems to snort in agreement.

“Erin, I need Jake to be healed when Cougar is, so nothing too permanent,” Clay says as he takes another nip of his flask.

“Gee thanks, Colonel,” Jake snarks.

“I told you not to steal the damn donkey,” Clay fires back.

“Mule!”

Cougar gives Walter a gentle pat before leaving him be to go rescue Jake. He strides out of the trailer to see Erin with Jake in a headlock. Several neighbors are outside watching like it's pay per view. He even sees two men in ugly sweaters exchange money.

Cougar ignores everyone and his aching ribs as he hauls Erin into his arms. She lets go of Jake as Cougar easily lifts her.

“Let me go, Cougar. I need to murder your boyfriend before my sauce burns,” she says, but Cougar just holds her to his chest.

“Erin,” he says calmly.

“Don't Cougar. Don't take this anger away from me yet,” she says to him, still glaring right at her brother.

“Erin, he loves her like his own. His heart is in the right place,” Cougar whispers to her, so Jake can't hear them. “He worries so much while we are away, so he wants to spoil her when he can. Yes, some of his ideas are misguided, but you are lucky to have a brother with such a big heart.”

“I told you not to take my anger, Carlos,” Erin sighs, clutching at Cougar's forearm which is wrapped around her waist. Jake blinks up at them, his glasses askew. His ewok pajamas are damp from wrestling in the snow.

“We will see that the mule is kept and fed. Just take Beth to visit him sometimes, sí?” Cougar asks.

“Yeah, yeah, but Jake is definitely getting coal next year,” Erin agrees, finishing the sentence loud enough for Jake to hear.

“I get to keep Walter?” Beth asks, suddenly excited about the big animal.

“You can visit him and learn about taking care of him,” Erin says while Cougar presses a kiss to her head and hugs her tight.

“You too have a big heart,” he assures her before letting her return to the meal.

Jolene gives them all dirty looks and points at Pooch. “You ever bring a farm animal home, and I'm keeping it and cooking you for dinner,” she warns before following Erin.

“Yes dear,” Pooch says wiping his forehead.

“So who wants a pony ride?” Jake suggests as Cougar helps him up. Beth raises her hand excitedly, and Cougar has Clay hold Jake back while he sweet talks Walter into giving Beth a ride. Walter seems to take a shine to Beth immediately. Her small fingers scratch his ears when he lowers his head to give her a sniff.

Beth giggles when Cougar tells her that Walter likes her much better than he likes her Uncle Jake.

\---

Dinner is not nearly as tense as Cougar is expecting. Everyone is very pleasant as they share stories while they pass the food around. Cougar squeezes Jake's hand beneath the table several times when he starts to get emotional about how nice this holiday is, death threats aside.

When everyone is done and Clay and Roque have finished the dishes, everyone gathers in the living room to exchange gifts.

Jolene and Erin laugh and take pictures while the guys trade poorly wrapped boxes. Cougar's stand out for their meticulous wrapping, and also because everyone seems to hoard their present from him.

Jake starts by opening Pooch's gift which is a bobble head cat with a hat he can stick to his desktop. “Dude, this is awesome. Look Coug, it's mini you,” Jake says as he holds up the little trinket.

Jake got Pooch a new socket wrench because he may be responsible for Pooch losing the last one when they had to make a hasty getaway.

Pooch got Roque a very neat knife holder that attaches around his waist. Roque is very pleased with it as he pulls knives out of his pants and tucks them into the slots. Erin is about to protest, but Jolene just rolls her eyes and shakes her head. Not worth it.

Roque gets Jake a case of Mountain Dew and a small boot knife because he might have stolen Jake's old one. He gets Clay a pair of stress relieving balls shaped like breasts and a bottle of expensive Scotch. Clay raises an eyebrow at him.

“Cougar said to listen to what you complain about for a gift idea, but all I heard was blah blah blah, so I got you the squishy tits so you can squeeze them instead of bitching at me,” Roque says, and Clay nods squeezing one of them and making a satisfied face.

Clay gives Roque the exact knives Cougar circled in the magazine he left for him, and Roque gets that gleam in his eye that means he's either happy or he has gas.

Everyone turns to Cougar who has four similarly shaped boxes sitting in front of him untouched. “Go on, Cougar,” Clay says as they all toy with their own gifts.

Cougar lifts the box that says it's from Clay and gingerly opens it. Inside is a very nice gun cleaning kit. “Thank you, Clay.”

Everyone else looks a him a little funny as he lifts the next box. It's from Roque. Inside is an identical gun cleaning kit. Cougar smirks fondly at his teammates as he thanks Roque, who's scratching at the back of his neck, embarrassed for getting him the same gift. Everyone's a bit embarrassed when it turns out that Pooch got him a very similar cleaning kit as well. Cougar smiles and thanks him with the same sincerity that he thanked Clay and Roque.

Jake looks annoyed as Cougar lifts his own gift. “You don't need to open that now,” Jake says, and Cougar gives him a confused look.

“Come on, Jake. Don't be a spoil sport. We all had to deal with the embarrassment of getting him the same thing, you can too,” Roque says, but Jake just huffs.

Cougar opens the gift anyway, and just stares at it when the paper is gone. “A sound machine?” Cougar says in confusion.

“Yeah, um...Okay, so, um, you have trouble sleeping, so—uh—I figured that sometimes it's because you are too focused on your surroundings, but since I'm with you...and I have your back...maybe this would help. I programmed it with sixteen hours of the waves breaking in Mazatlan, but you could just have white noise or music...uh, why is everyone looking at me like that?” Jake ends his ramble when he notices that everyone is staring.

Cougar can tell that Clay and Roque expect him to shoot Jake on the spot for even mentioning his turbulent relationship with sleep. Pooch looks like he might just cry, and Jolene and Erin actually are.

“Thank you, Jake,” Cougar says sincerely.

“I know, I should've just gotten you a cleanin—”

“No, I appreciate it very much, Jake,” Cougar assures him, pulling Jake to his side. “It is a good gift.”

“Way to make us look bad, Jake,” Pooch grumbles as he looks at the beautiful handmade slings Cougar got him for any possible future children Pooch was hoping to make soon. Clay and Roque agree looking at their own gifts. Cougar got Clay a custom Zippo because he'd lost his own on a recent mission, and he got Roque a gorgeous set of pen knives that he can tell Roque is already imagining doing his paperwork with, or stabbing it.

“You open yours?” Cougar says pushing Jake's last box toward him.

“Oh, these pjs were enough. You didn't need to get me something else,” Jake says even as he tears away the paper. He opens the box only to look up at Cougar through narrowed eyes. He pulls a smaller box out of the box and unwraps that one to find another box. “Very funny,” Jake says as he opens the smaller box to find an even smaller one. He huffs and pulls that one open too and the one inside it. Finally, he opens the last box to find a small jewelry box. His eyes go a little wide as he lifts it up. Roque, Clay, and Pooch all have slightly gobsmacked expressions as Jake looks at the box then slowly opens it.

Inside, nestled on the little pillow is an ordinary looking flash drive. “Oh, a flash drive. Thanks Coug,” Jake says with a bright smile. “Can always use more of these,” he says, and Cougar knows he means it. Perhaps the gift was a little mean, but Jake will forgive him.

Everyone else looks very confused as Jake palms the tiny drive. They all look like they want to say something, but they bite their tongues and go back to the dining room for dessert.

\---

Christmas music plays as Cougar and Jake sit on the couch in front of the tree. Everyone's either drunk on eggnog or asleep, so it's basically just them enjoying the remains of their evening together.

Jake rests his head on Cougar's shoulder, humming along to the music. He's pleasantly drunk himself. “This was the best Christmas, Coug.”

“It was very good,” Cougar agrees.

“I'm sorry everyone got you the same thing though.”

“It is okay. It is the thought that counts, and they were very thoughtful gifts,” Cougar assures him, lacing their fingers together.

“Yeah, but you always know what to get everyone.”

“It is my job to be observant.”

“Yeah, I guess,” Jake says, playing with the flash drive Cougar gave him, flipping it over his fingers.

“It was a really awesome, Christmas,” Jake says again. Cougar smiles and turns to kiss Jake slowly. When he pulls back, Jake is in the middle of flicking the cap on and off the drive. Jake sighs.

“What the—” Jake cuts off as he gives the drive a good look. A silver band sits inside the the flash drive. “What the hell?” Jake mumbles, pulling the ring out and examining it.

“You sneaky bastard!” Jake says as he shoves the ring onto his finger. “You got me all excited just to let me down, just so you could be all sneaky, and dammit I fell for it,” he rambles as he looks down at the crudely made ring that fits perfectly around his finger.

Cougar just smiles at him smugly, pulling Jake's hand into both of his and kissing the finger the ring rests on. “You are mine?” he asks, looking up at Jake from beneath the brim of his hat.

“Damn right I'm yours, you sadistic kitty,” Jake says, leaning over to capture Cougar's lips.

“It will have to stay in the drive when we work,” Cougar says, but he can tell Jake doesn't give a shit, so long as he knows he has it, and Cougar gave it to him.

“Dammit Coug,” Jake sighs, nuzzling Cougar's cheek.

“Merry Christmas, Jake,” Cougar whispers.

“Merry Christmas, Coug.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, I sorta brought things full circle because I mean, I couldn't just leave Walter the mule back there. I'm also a complete sap, so that's why it ended the way it did.
> 
> I'm still so amazed I actually finished this. I hope you enjoyed it, or parts of it.
> 
> Anyway, Merry Christmas!


End file.
